Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 669

orlok · 02-23-2018, 06:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dazrin

That first one reminds me of my HS physics teacher's favorite "latin" saying:

Semper ubi sub ubi.

(had to look it up)

wodin · 02-23-2018, 12:29 PM

I believe I prefer commando, thanks.

orlok · 02-23-2018, 05:15 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

I believe I prefer commando, thanks.

Too much information.

badgoodDeb · 02-23-2018, 05:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

I believe I prefer commando, thanks.

i.e. Nunquam ubi sub ubi

drjd · 02-25-2018, 06:01 AM

A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer.

When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door.

It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.

DMcCunney · 02-25-2018, 09:27 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door.

It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.

Back in the 80's, I worked in a back office function of a major bank. A story made the rounds about an attempted robbery at one of our branches.

The robber came in and handed a note to a teller stating it was a holdup and give him her money. The teller, a middle aged black woman, said "I'm sorry sir. We don't do that here. You'll have to go the the other bank down the block!", put out her Closed sign, and walked away from her window.

He did go rob the competitor's branch down the block.

(And I think he got arrested by the NYPD on his way out, because our branch called them and reported it.)

Everyone who heard the story wished they could be as cool as the teller.

______
Dennis

orlok · 03-01-2018, 06:17 AM

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drjd · 03-01-2018, 02:26 PM

At the physics exam: 'Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.'

wodin · 03-02-2018, 03:07 PM

A frightened passenger said to me "how often do these planes crash"? I said "only the once".

wodin · 03-02-2018, 03:09 PM

I hate flying, especially modern jets as most only have TWO engines, if both broke down you could be stuck up there for days !!!!!

HLS · 03-02-2018, 04:54 PM

Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it will be a chicken sedan! lol

<------ Being a bird owner I had to tell it

poohbear_nc · 03-02-2018, 06:49 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kcladyz

Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it will be a chicken sedan! lol

<------ Being a bird owner I had to tell it

drjd · 03-03-2018, 05:10 AM

For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children.

She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren.

"Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?"

orlok · 03-03-2018, 05:29 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

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poohbear_nc · 03-04-2018, 07:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Attachment 162594

Family reunion?

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02-23-2018, 12:29 PM	#10022
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	I believe I prefer commando, thanks.

02-25-2018, 06:01 AM	#10025
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A man walked into a branch of the Antelope Valley Bank and handed a teller a note demanding money. The man had one hand in his pocket, as if holding a gun, so the teller began handing over the contents of her cash drawer. When she had forked over $7,000 the robber said, "That's enough" and walked out the door. It's hard to find a bank robber who knows when he's had enough.

03-01-2018, 06:17 AM	#10027
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"

03-01-2018, 02:26 PM	#10028
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	At the physics exam: 'Describe the universe in 200 words and give three examples.'

03-02-2018, 03:07 PM	#10029
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	A frightened passenger said to me "how often do these planes crash"? I said "only the once".

03-02-2018, 03:09 PM	#10030
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	I hate flying, especially modern jets as most only have TWO engines, if both broke down you could be stuck up there for days !!!!!

03-02-2018, 04:54 PM	#10031
HLS Wizard Posts: 2,028 Karma: 15107670 Join Date: May 2017 Device: Sage, Scribe, Boox Note 2 Plus, iPad Pros and Samsungs S6,S7,S8	Why does a chicken coop have two doors? Because if it had four doors it will be a chicken sedan! lol <------ Being a bird owner I had to tell it

03-03-2018, 05:10 AM	#10033
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	For two solid hours, the lady sitting next to a man on an airplane had told him about her grandchildren. She had even produced a plastic-foldout photo album of all nine of the children. She finally realized that she had dominated the entire conversation on her grandchildren. "Oh, I've done all the talking, and I'm so sorry. I know you certainly have something to say. Please, tell me... what do you think of my grandchildren?"