Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 98

Bilbo1967 · 07-21-2010, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York Scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, A story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers"

One week later. A local newspaper in Texas reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Lufkin,Texas, Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless".

I heard exactly that joke but the two protagonists in this case were India and Pakistan.

WT Sharpe · 07-21-2010, 11:51 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

What, you mean you have *never* heard jokes about the little Yvan?

Nyope. Me nyether!

LCF · 07-22-2010, 04:47 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

I haven't, over here. [ err ... do I want to have heard them?? ]

Quote:

Originally Posted by WT Sharpe

Nyope. Me nyether!

Well, I'm not really surprised.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Verencat

Tell me tell me tell me! It'll be a success in the next family gathering!

Here you go. I'll try to post at least one per week, but we will have to see if I can find enough jokes I find worthy, to be Yvan jokes posted here.

Quote:

At (pre)school:

Little George:
"One, two three, four."

Little Peter:
"Five, six, seven, eight."

Little Yvan:
"Nine, ten, Jack, Queen, King, Ace?"

kennyc · 07-22-2010, 10:38 AM

Who said Men don't remember anniversaries

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room,
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
"Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.
"Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car, making love?"
"Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues....
"Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says......

"I would have gotten out today."

yvanleterrible · 07-22-2010, 11:00 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Who said Men don't remember anniversaries

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room,
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
"Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.
"Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car, making love?"
"Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues....
"Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says......

"I would have gotten out today."

Ouch! What a mean bastard!

WT Sharpe · 07-22-2010, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Who said Men don't remember anniversaries

A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him.
He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee.
"What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room,
"Why are you down here at this time of night?"
"Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive.
"Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily.
"Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car, making love?"
"Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues....
"Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?"
"I remember that too" she replies softly.
He wipes another tear from his cheek and says......

"I would have gotten out today."

Even the happiest of married people have had days when they can relate to that!

LCF · 07-22-2010, 12:04 PM

Little Yvan invites a friend of his at home.
-- We've got a new dog!
The other kid:
--Does it bite?
Little Yvan:
--That's exactly what I want to find out.

yvanleterrible · 07-22-2010, 12:11 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

Little Yvan invites a friend of his at home.
-- We've got a new dog!
The other kid:
--Does it bite?
Little Yvan:
--That's exactly what I want to find out.

So if I get that right, Little Yvan is a terrible kid, cynical, mean an witty...

I can relate to that!

LCF · 07-22-2010, 12:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

So if I get that right, Little Yvan is a terrible kid, cynical, mean an witty...

I can relate to that!

he also states some existential questions:

Little Yvan walks the hallways of the school and shouts:
--Where is the logic? Where is the logic, where is the sense in this...
The principal meets him and asks:
--Little Yvan, what's wrong with you? You walk the halls, during class time, and shouts like crazy, what's going on?!
--What's going on? -replies Little Yvan. I farted in class and was ordered out of the classroom, but they stayed in. Where is the logic, where is the sense in this...

kennyc · 07-22-2010, 12:24 PM

And then he grows up.

LCF · 07-22-2010, 12:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

And then he grows up.

there are some very nice jokes for the not so little Yvan too

yvanleterrible · 07-22-2010, 01:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

And then he grows up.

Haven't seen that happening...............................yet!

kennyc · 07-22-2010, 01:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Haven't seen that happening...............................yet!

Right....good point....

yvanleterrible · 07-22-2010, 04:21 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by kennyc

Right....good point....

I think I'll never grow up. Recently I've started growing sideways...all around and I've lost an inch in height.
Anyway, I don't WANT to grow up. It looks boring. It would be the death of me...

badgoodDeb · 07-22-2010, 04:40 PM

Like Peter Pan didn't wanna grow up?

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07-22-2010, 10:38 AM	#1459
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,917 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	Who said Men don't remember anniversaries A woman awakes during the night to find that her husband was not in their bed. She puts on her robe and goes downstairs to look for him. She finds him sitting at the kitchen table with a cup of coffee in front of him. He appears deep in thought, just staring at the wall. She watches as he wipes a tear from his eye and takes a sip of coffee. "What's the matter, dear?" she whispers as she steps into the room, "Why are you down here at this time of night?" "Do you remember when I met you and you were only 16?" he asks solemnly. The wife is touched to tears thinking that her husband is so caring and sensitive. "Yes, I do" she replies. The husband pauses. The words are not coming easily. "Do you remember when your father caught us in the back seat of my car, making love?" "Yes, I remember" says the wife, lowering herself into a chair beside him. The husband continues.... "Do you remember when he shoved a shotgun in my face and said, "Either you marry my daughter, or I will send you to jail for 20 years?" "I remember that too" she replies softly. He wipes another tear from his cheek and says...... "I would have gotten out today."

07-22-2010, 12:04 PM	#1462
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	Little Yvan invites a friend of his at home. -- We've got a new dog! The other kid: --Does it bite? Little Yvan: --That's exactly what I want to find out.

07-22-2010, 12:24 PM	#1465
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,917 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	And then he grows up.

07-22-2010, 04:40 PM	#1470
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,553 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Like Peter Pan didn't wanna grow up?