Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 97

glowhappy · 07-19-2010, 01:00 AM

Its naptime at school.

A little boy calls to the girl who's mat was near his.
He pointed into his pants and said "I've got one of these and you don't"
The girl then turns up her dress and said "with this I can get as many of those as I want"

yvanleterrible · 07-19-2010, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by happy_terd

Strange. I always pictured Yvan with more warts than that.

Close!

LCF · 07-20-2010, 05:57 AM

One day Little Johnny is in his back yard digging a hole.

His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate. "What are you doing?" he asks.

Little Johnny replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying him."

"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor.

Little Johnny shouts back, "That's because he's inside your f*cking cat!"

LCF · 07-20-2010, 06:01 AM

Little Johnny returns from school and tells his father he got an "F" in Arithmetic today.

"Why?" asks his father.

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said "6".

"But that's right," said his father.

"Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?'

"What's the f*cking difference?" asks his father.

"That's what I said!"

Wetdogeared · 07-20-2010, 09:09 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

One day Little Johnny is in his back yard digging a hole.

His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate. "What are you doing?" he asks.

Little Johnny replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying him."

"That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor.

Little Johnny shouts back, "That's because he's inside your f*cking cat!"

Got the video.

Lycoming · 07-20-2010, 10:01 AM

LCF, that wasn't Little Johhnie, that was Ralphie, his cuzzin'.

Lycoming · 07-20-2010, 02:36 PM

A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told Her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,'
Where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten Up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.' Over the course of the years, the woman Tightened the knob, and the effects were Wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant.

After fifteen years, the woman returned to The surgeon with two problems. 'All these years, everything has been working Just fine. I've had to turn the knob many Times and I've always loved the results. But Now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.' The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.'
She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point In asking about the goatee.'

Greg Anos · 07-20-2010, 02:43 PM

After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York Scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, A story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers"

One week later. A local newspaper in Texas reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Lufkin,Texas, Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless".

LCF · 07-20-2010, 03:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

Got the video.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Lycoming

LCF, that wasn't Little Johhnie, that was Ralphie, his cuzzin'.

From where I copy-pasted, it was Johnny! In my country it would have been the little Yvan. Surprised, anyone?

kennyc · 07-20-2010, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cassidym

....
“Well” stammers the barber “what did he say?”

“Well” answers the customer “he looked me right in the eye and said ‘Where’d you get the shitty haircut!”

yvanleterrible · 07-20-2010, 03:59 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

From where I copy-pasted, it was Johnny! In my country it would have been the little Yvan. Surprised, anyone?

kennyc · 07-20-2010, 04:06 PM

Or Big Yvan.

LCF · 07-20-2010, 07:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

What, you mean you have *never* heard jokes about the little Yvan?

badgoodDeb · 07-20-2010, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

What, you mean you have *never* heard jokes about the little Yvan?

I haven't, over here. [ err ... do I want to have heard them?? ]

Verencat · 07-20-2010, 07:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by LCF

What, you mean you have *never* heard jokes about the little Yvan?

Tell me tell me tell me! It'll be a success in the next family gathering!

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

07-19-2010, 01:00 AM	#1441
glowhappy lost my wits... Posts: 593 Karma: 216708 Join Date: Apr 2010 Location: Texas, USA Device: Sony PRS-600	Its naptime at school. A little boy calls to the girl who's mat was near his. He pointed into his pants and said "I've got one of these and you don't" The girl then turns up her dress and said "with this I can get as many of those as I want"

07-20-2010, 05:57 AM	#1443
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	One day Little Johnny is in his back yard digging a hole. His neighbor, seeing him there, decides to investigate. "What are you doing?" he asks. Little Johnny replies, "My goldfish died and I'm burying him." "That's an awful big hole for a goldfish, ain't it?" asked the neighbor. Little Johnny shouts back, "That's because he's inside your f*cking cat!"

07-20-2010, 06:01 AM	#1444
LCF Wizard Posts: 1,472 Karma: 9795311 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Germany Device: Hanlin V3 (LBook), GS3	Little Johnny returns from school and tells his father he got an "F" in Arithmetic today. "Why?" asks his father. "The teacher asked, 'How much is 2 x 3?' I said "6". "But that's right," said his father. "Then she asked me 'How much is 3 x 2?' "What's the f*cking difference?" asks his father. "That's what I said!"

07-20-2010, 10:01 AM	#1446
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	LCF, that wasn't Little Johhnie, that was Ralphie, his cuzzin'.

07-20-2010, 02:36 PM	#1447
Lycoming Capt Chaos II Posts: 483 Karma: 33043007 Join Date: Aug 2008 Location: Cornwall, UK Device: iPad2	A woman visited a plastic surgeon who told Her about a new procedure called 'The Knob,' Where a small knob is placed at the top of the woman's head and could be turned to tighten Up her skin and produce the effect of a brand new face-lift. Of course, the woman wanted 'The Knob.' Over the course of the years, the woman Tightened the knob, and the effects were Wonderful, the woman remained young looking and vibrant. After fifteen years, the woman returned to The surgeon with two problems. 'All these years, everything has been working Just fine. I've had to turn the knob many Times and I've always loved the results. But Now I've developed two annoying problems: First, I have these terrible bags under my eyes and the knob won't get rid of them.' The doctor looked at her closely and said, 'Those aren't bags, those are your breasts.' She said, 'Well, I guess there's no point In asking about the goatee.'

07-20-2010, 02:43 PM	#1448
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,531 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, New York Scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 100 years and came to the conclusion, that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 100 years ago. Not to be outdone by the New Yorkers, in the weeks that followed, a California archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, A story in the LA Times read: "California archaeologists, finding of 200 year old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network a hundred years earlier than the New Yorkers" One week later. A local newspaper in Texas reported the following: "After digging as deep as 30 feet in his pasture near Lufkin,Texas, Bubba, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely nothing. Bubba has therefore concluded that 300 years ago, Texas had already gone wireless".

07-20-2010, 04:06 PM	#1452
kennyc The Dank Side of the Moon Posts: 35,917 Karma: 119747553 Join Date: Sep 2009 Location: Denver, CO Device: Kindle2; Kindle Fire	Or Big Yvan.