Red Redux - The Case Of The Desert Pirates

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

What's worng with a happy ending? The first story had one.....

nothing at all, if you ask me !

Pshrink, maybe one of these days Harv and Vera can visit Red...How about a backyard bar-be-que?

hou, think of everything that could happen there !!!!

[pshrynk]

I'm sure it'll be happy. I'm just suspecting at least a twist...

Oh, buggrit! When can we expect BadgoodDeb's announcement that she's retiring to open a cake shoppe?

How's last Tuesday sound for an upcoming BBQ?

[Greg Anos]

Originally Posted by pshrynk

I'm sure it'll be happy. I'm just suspecting at least a twist...

Oh, buggrit! When can we expect BadgoodDeb's announcement that she's retiring to open a cake shoppe?

How's last Tuesday sound for an upcoming BBQ?

You pay for the ZCD's and ZCP's to get everybody there....

[Greg Anos]

About an hour later, Zed gave me a ring back.
"The stuff checks out like you said. That's a good piece of work, Red."
"Just tryin' to help out."
"We'll have to do something about Montsnmag Beverages producing this stuff."
"Good luck. I haven't been able to get Montsnmag to do anything they don't want to do, even with nuke weapons."
"We'll see. Where do you want the swap?"
"How about in front of the Lazy Lizard mine? That way it'll be out of sight of most everybody."
"Sounds reasonable. When?"
"We're ready as soon as your folks get here. The quicker, the better, for everybody."
"Ok, I'll call you back with an ETA."
I went back into the cave and woke up L. He started to grouse, but shut up when I told him the deal had been set up with Zed. If he had any grousing to do, do it with his boss.
I was glad I wouldn't have to listen to that ruckus.
Meanwhile, I picked up all the business papers from the T-shirts for later perusal.

A half hour later, the MIB showed up with DesertGrandpa. The swap went off slicker than a politican's payoff. It was good to see two older people huggin' and cryin'. One of the benefits of the job.
I escorted them back home, with VR and the gang in tow. I saw that they settled in, and told them to sip on the leftover Zany Carter Deluxe for a couple of days, until it was certain that the MIB would keep their end of the bargain. If they reneged and got a few holes in them, that wasn't any of my concern.

As we drove off, I asked, "Well VR, I promised Hugo and Lefty a day at the office. You want to come along?"
He shuddered. "Not with that cat there. I've called the Queen and told her that Hugo and Lefty have been found, and are in your custody. I think I'll fly back home. It's not my vacation time."
"Do you want me to put in a good word with Her Majesty for some more scritch time?"
"Wellll. If you wouldn't mind..."
"No problem at all. You fly over to Pinwheel and I'll have it arranged by the time you get there. Drop you off at the airport?"
"Over at the private plane section. And could you call my human?"
I punched in the number and held the phone while VR made his arrangements. We got to the airport and I dropped him off.
"Thanks Red. See you in Pinwheel."
"Scritch, scritch, VR."

I went over to the sardine can and took the next flight back home. I figgered it was safer to head out of town that to stick around as a clay pigeon at a Ranger's game.

[Greg Anos]

I came in the next morning with Hugo and Lefty in a box, so there would be no inopportune comments by the boys. Mindy was at the reception desk, pettin' Mrs Slocum.
"Hi Boss."
"Any disasters since I left?"
"I got a check from the DEA for a parking ticket. Something about "would you please only work where we hire you to" in the letter."
" 'Bout time they paid my expenses. Mindy, I got a couple of people I want you to meet."
I took off the box cover.
"Mindy, this is Hugo and Lefty. Boys, this is Mindy."
"Are you a real fairy?"
"With slippers?"
"No Lefty, that's wings."
"Like a butterfly?"
"Uh-huh."
"But where are they?"
"She's wearin' them under her dress, boys, so as not to bother people who come in needin' help."
Mrs Slocum was watchin' this with great concern. She apparently decided she wanted nothing to do with talking socks, so she went and hid behind the file cabinet. Meanwhile, Mindy's eyes were gettin' bigger and bigger.
"Mindy, I need for you to book a trip for me to Pinwheel. I need to take the boys home to the Queen. make it for a week."
"Uh. Ok, Boss. How soon?"
"When's the next flight?"
"This afternoon, I think."
"Book it if it's available."
"Right, Boss."
"Let's go back to my office boys. I've got somebody I want you to meet."
"Great, Red."

Back in the office, I got out the box that Lilac Jive had sent me.
"Boys. I've got you a companion for the trip back. Her name is Lola."
I pulled out a beautiful cream-colored scarf.
"Hi, boys." She said, in a throaty contralto.
"I'm certain ya'll enjoy the company on the way back to see the Queen."
Hugo and Lefty were both lookin' kinda nervous.
"Tell you what, boys. I need to do some readin' on a case. I'm gonna put you together and put the box on the shelf, while you get acquainted. See ya later."

I read the stack of papers I retrieved from the Lazy Lizard. I asked Mindy to check out a couple of items in the papers, and they checked out. I'd settle it when I got back from Pinwheel.
A few hours later I rolled out to the flight to Pinwheel, carry the box with the boys. When I got off the plane, Monseur Claude Vutton personally greeted me and escorted me to an offical limosine. It went straight to the palace.
VR met me as I got off and escorted me directly to the Queen.
I knelt.
"Rise, Sir Sir Red. Have you returned with Hugo and Lefty."
"I have, Your Majesty."
I opened the box.
A tired "Hi, Zelda." came from Hugo and a even more tired "Hi." came from Lefty.
"I'd also like to introduce a new scarf to go with the set. Her name is Lola.
"Hello, Your Majesty."
Queen Zelda took a look in the box and then a real hard look at me. "Sir Sir Red, we wish to talk to you later, privately.
Maybe introducing Lola to the boys wasn't such a hot idea. I was just tryin' to make certain they didn't want to go walkabout again....
"At your command, Your Majesty."

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Whoa, hoh, hold on! You didn't leave those counterfeit T-shirts down in that mine, did you? Who knows what ne'er-do-wells or or recycled linens will find that stuff and put it back on the market? C-mon, git-er done!

[pshrynk]

Steve - Sorry to say, old boy, but the T-shirts had yielded $0.08 in sales. Personally, I just made one of my own from pirated images.

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

[Greg Anos]

Steve, you T-shirt have not been forgotten. I'm in the middle of the writing the last post right now, although after 3 posts in last 4 hours, I'm kinda out of gas....

[Greg Anos]

I got back home after a good chewin' out by the queen about Hugo and Lefty's travelin' companion. I managed to patch things up with Her Majesty, which resulted in a lot of target practice.
I got to the office the next morning, needin' to close the final thread of the case. Or cases.
"Mindy, I got to do a conference call with a client, so I'll be unavailable for about an hour."
"Try not to snore too loudly."
"Does it show that badly?"
"It does."
"Ok. Just don't fry me, I'm too worn out to dodge."

I went back into my office, propped up my feet, and called Steve Jordan.
"Howdy, Steve, I got some progress on those pirate T-shirts. I shut down the ring in Arizona."
"Great, Red. What do I owe you."
"The truth. Why did you pirate yourself?"
"Huh. I don't know what you're talking about."
"Now Steve, you left a paper trail a Cub Scout could follow. So why do you hire me to shut down the pirates you had hired in the first place. Inquirin' minds want to know. And don't tell me I don't know what I'm talking' about. The first thing they teach you when becomin' a P.I. is never trust the client."
A long silence.
"I needed the money. But I publicly made such a big deal out of making money out of writing only, I couldn't go back on my word."
"So if somebody else did it, you could get some money, and still look virtuous. And when the deal didn't work out as profitable as you'd hoped, you'd have a dumb P.I. bust the ring, recover the T-shirts left over and sell 'em yourself or give 'em away to charity, gettin' the free publicity and still lookin' virtuous, 'cause you were sellin' captured pirate stock, which you didn't have anything to do with, right?"
"I need to talk to my lawyer."
"Now Steve, it isn't illegal to defraud yourself. It's just embarassin'. But you shouldn't have left Hugo and Lefty as the fall guys. That caused way too much heat. I've spent a week soothin' ruffles feathers. Don't worry, I left your name out.
"So what are you goin' to do, Steve? Leave the T-shirt down the mine shaft, and I'll forget the whole affair. Admit that you're now sellin' T-shirts, and I'll forget the whole affair, as well. But no false virtue, it cheapens the real McCoy." I thought about DesertGrandma, going to take on the whole world for her husband.
"I'll think over my options."
"Do that. Meanwhile, I'm markin' your case as solved, no fee required. Think of it as professional courtesy."
"Thanks, Red."
I hung up and loaded my .22 with BB Caps and started plinkin' at FDR...



Fin

[zelda_pinwheel]

:standing ovation: bravo !!

i'm not sure i should applaud about Lola, something tells me that scarf is going to be trouble, but then again, if she keeps hugo and lefty from running off again why not ? and you can never have enough scarves in a paris winter...

and so another fine adventure comes to an end ! always a bittersweet moment ; the joy of reunions, the sadness that there won't be another episode...

wait, wait, the concordance !!! that's still coming !!!

[Steven Lyle Jordan]

Me an' my big mouth...

[Greg Anos]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

:standing ovation: bravo !!

i'm not sure i should applaud about Lola, something tells me that scarf is going to be trouble, but then again, if she keeps hugo and lefty from running off again why not ? and you can never have enough scarves in a paris winter...

and so another fine adventure comes to an end ! always a bittersweet moment ; the joy of reunions, the sadness that there won't be another episode...

wait, wait, the concordance !!! that's still coming !!!

And a piece of cover art - from Queen Zelda...


Red will eventually return in - The Case of the Baptist Terrorists.

[zelda_pinwheel]

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

And a piece of cover art - from Queen Zelda...

oh, right ! i'll try to get that done tomorrow.

Red will eventually return in - The Case of the Baptist Terrorists.

JOY !!!!

[badgoodDeb]

Whew!! A case well done, and successfully closed.

And now Zelda might have a ready supply of leetle baby booties, in case she needs shower gifts for friends!