Rant of a Reader

[pwalker8]

Originally Posted by leebase

Why do people believe in "signaling"? And then get mad if I (or someone else) isn't honoring those "clear" signals?

How hard is it to say "appreciate your friendliness, but I'm in the middle of a good book right now, thanks".

Or on a plane "I'm not in the mood for a conversation right now. But thanks for being friendly. Enjoy the flight"

I personally prefer to use clear verbal signals, such as "I'm reading right now, if you talk to me again, I'm going to rip off your face"

[arjaybe]

Originally Posted by leebase

How hard is it ...

For some people, very hard. Even harder than it is for some to understand that. Not everyone is comfortable with being rude.

[DiapDealer]

Originally Posted by arjaybe

Not everyone is comfortable with being rude.

Nor should they be.

The good news is that rudeness isn't required. If it's not rude to WANT to be left alone (and I'm getting the distinct feeling that most here don't feel it's rude to WANT to be left alone--nor even to give non-verbal clues that they want to be left alone), then why on earth would it be rude to politely convey that same desire to be left alone verbally? That makes no sense.

It's somehow more polite to feign interest while silently seething at someone who didn't pick up on your hints?

[leebase]

Originally Posted by arjaybe

For some people, very hard. Even harder than it is for some to understand that. Not everyone is comfortable with being rude.

You shouldn't have to be rude to communicate that you are desiring to read your book. THEY aren't being rude for not properly reading your unspoken "signs".

[radius]

Originally Posted by DiapDealer

And --- again --- my "bunch of crap" was not about convincing those "who don't want to be bothered with extrovert yappers" to be more tolerant. I was suggesting more tolerance all around. But I see you're only interested in getting everyone ELSE in society to behave in the way you deem "correct."

DiapDealer, I enjoy most of your posts, but on this issue, please stop.

[DiapDealer]

Originally Posted by radius

DiapDealer, I enjoy most of your posts, but on this issue, please stop.

Ummm.... How should I put this? I'll just go with "no" for now. I'll discuss anything I wish. And as long as we stay within the forum rules, you (and everyone else) are free to do the same.

[4691mls]

I thought of this thread the other night while watching an old rerun of the sitcom "Frasier". It was an episode from the first season where Frasier's father has just moved in with him and they are getting reacquainted. Frasier has been frustrated by having no time alone and is trying to read a book. Dad asks what he's reading, Frasier tells him, and Dad, who was obviously just trying to make conversation and has no interest in Frasier's book, can only think to say that the book is "thick". If the sitcom were taking place today with an ebook Dad wouldn't have even been able to say that

[ekbell]

I had our seasonal brief visit from our local Jehovah Witnesses today which led to a pondering of regional differences.

When even the local JW refrain from uninvited conversation it's hard to fathom *having* to explicitly state an disinterest in conversation with a stranger under most circumstances. Doing so would feel rude as it implies that the person in question would continue talking at someone who's not expressed an interest in conversation unless explicitly told not to.

[sealbeater]

Well, I've found the best way to discourage someone from talking to me while I'm reading is to tell them all about the book I'm reading. This often does the trick.

[DNSB]

Originally Posted by sealbeater

Well, I've found the best way to discourage someone from talking to me while I'm reading is to tell them all about the book I'm reading. This often does the trick.

Isn't death by boredom forbidden by the Geneva Convention?

On a more serious note, I've done much the same myself. Seldom has it taken more than five minutes to have my victim looking longingly at the nearest exit as I channel an English professor whose class I suffered through at university. The best I can say about his teaching style was that he is only person who ever had me falling asleep while discussing sex.

[arjaybe]

Originally Posted by sealbeater

Well, I've found the best way to discourage someone from talking to me while I'm reading is to tell them all about the book I'm reading. This often does the trick.

That's a brilliant idea. Something like engaging a telemarketer with some unrelated nonsense. "You're selling double-glazing? That reminds me of my grandfather's storm windows. Let me tell you ..."

[patrickt]

I remember soaking in a bathtub of hot water happily reading and the door opening and my wife saying, "Don't you want to do anything today?"

Of course, what she meant was, wouldn't I rather spend my time entertaining her.

I solved the problem. Now, I live with my dog. He pesters me a lot less. He also doesn't whine when I buy a book. He realizes, I'm not spending his money.

[maddz]

Originally Posted by patrickt

Now, I live with my dog. He pesters me a lot less. He also doesn't whine when I buy a book. He realizes, I'm not spending his money.

"What do you mean you can't afford to buy me steak?"

[Ripplinger]

Originally Posted by arjaybe

That's a brilliant idea. Something like engaging a telemarketer with some unrelated nonsense. "You're selling double-glazing? That reminds me of my grandfather's storm windows. Let me tell you ..."

That reminded of something I accidentally did to a caller one day at work. I answered the phone and the guy was mumbling like he was holding the mouthpiece on his chin. Since we were a maintenance company and I didn't want to risk being rude to a regular customer (or even a new customer), I kept politely telling him that I really couldn't understand him, could he please speak up a bit more. This went on for a good 3 minutes and he finally hung up. And in the next few seconds some of the words started sinking in... I guess my mind was just strictly on business calls from our customers.

I think I was responsible for creating the world's most frustrated obscene phone caller. I was actually looking forward to my next obscene caller so I could do it again intentionally, but no such luck. Not ever, not even at home.

Of course at home, I'd give a person maybe 3 seconds to speak up before I'd hang up. And that's if I'd answer the phone at all.

[arjaybe]

Originally Posted by Ripplinger

Of course at home, I'd give a person maybe 3 seconds to speak up before I'd hang up. And that's if I'd answer the phone at all.

Great story about the obscene caller.

3 seconds? They get one at most, here. We find it takes care of the robocalls. Easier to get rid of than the persistent pesterer when you want to read.