Red Redux - The Case Of The Desert Pirates - Page 8

Greg Anos · 03-26-2009, 03:09 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Oooohhhh. A *makeup* compact. I thought it was a compact pistol!

Well, just how many pistols does a lady normally carry in a purse/handbag? DG already has her .44-40 Scholfield in the bag....

badgoodDeb · 03-26-2009, 03:27 PM

Hey, it never hurts to have a spare! A little pearl handled something or other. (I've no concept of how big a .44-40 is)

pshrynk · 03-26-2009, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

Well, just how many pistols does a lady normally carry in a purse/handbag? DG already has her .44-40 Scholfield in the bag....

I would say that that would have to depend on the lady...

Greg Anos · 03-26-2009, 03:33 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Hey, it never hurts to have a spare! A little pearl handled something or other. (I've no concept of how big a .44-40 is)

About the size of Dirty Harry's .44 Magnum. It was the black power .44 Magnum of it's times. Cowboys like them, despite the recoil, because you could use the same bullets in the rifle as the pistol, so you only had to carry one set of bullets...

zelda_pinwheel · 03-28-2009, 10:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Ralph Sir Edward

About the size of Dirty Harry's .44 Magnum. It was the black power .44 Magnum of it's times. Cowboys like them, despite the recoil, because you could use the same bullets in the rifle as the pistol, so you only had to carry one set of bullets...

it's amazing all the stuff i learn about here.

Greg Anos · 03-28-2009, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

it's amazing all the stuff i learn about here.

Of course Colt .45 was the Apple of revolvers in the old West. More expensive, and a lot better advertizing. But actually, the .44-40 was used more, like IBM clones. There is a saying that "the .44-40 killed more game and more men that any cartridge in the West". Certainly open for debate, it's still made today, and many of the rifles you see in Italian westerns are chambered in .44-40. Still a good short range hunting round, up to about 150 meters or so.

Greg Anos · 03-28-2009, 08:50 PM

After gettin' watered and loaded up, I pointed the Jeep at the Lazy Lizard. There was a car parked near the mine shaft, so I parked on the other side from it.
"Now gang, I'm gonna take point goin'. That's what I get paid for. I hope to keep this to a minimun of disagreement, so don't start bangin' away at anybody unless I say to or it's obviously gettin' out of hand. And last, but not least, don't shoot at the socks, no matter what. I want to get paid."
"That's what I like about Red, that modest demeanor." VR told DesertGrandma.
I ignored it. "Single file goin' in. VR, you take the rockin' chair, DesertGrandma, you're rear guard. Kinda keep a lookout behind us and keep your purse handy. OK?"
"What are we going to do with L?"
"Good question. We'll lay him out on the back seat. Since the cloth roof is already up, he should be in shade for an hour or two. After we're done pickin' up Hugo and Lefty, we'll haul him in the mine with us. Any further questions?"
No further questions. "Let's roll."
I started singin' just to pass the time, and announce our presence. "I owe, I owe, It's off to work I go."
As we went into the mine, I turned on my flashlight. First thing I saw was a sign painted with warehouse on it and a fellow sittin beside it. He flipped on a camp light, pointin' up.
"Who are you and what do you want here? This is private property."
"Yep, this here property is real private, exceptin' I expect you don't have a valid lease from the property owner, nor anybody else. My handle's Red. I'm here to see your bosses. We're old friends."
"If you're old friends, maybe you can describe them."
"Sure can. A pair of talkin' socks, named Hugo and Lefty. They're from the Kingdom of Pinwheel."
"Red, you've been out in the sun too long. Socks don't talk."
"Not normally. These are a special exception, just like my little friend here."
Since the conversation was goin' nowhere anyways, I figgered it was time to get things movin' again.
He looked at my silencered .22. "It that thing loaded?"
"Well, I say it's got six full wadcutters in it. It you don't agree and want to sample the merchandise, I can oblige you. As you said, this here is a real private place. Now, how about you gettin' up nice and easy, and let's head back into your warehouse. By the way, where's your co-worker?"
"What co-worker?"
"Now, are we gonna play the dumb clerk game again? It's not a lotta fun the second time 'round. Besides, Hugo and Lefty aren't gonna like being kept waitin'."
"He's moving inventory to a huckster table at the local science-fiction convention."
"You'd best be right, else we're liable to have a merchandise swap right here in the mine."

A little deeper in the mine was a bend and some crates of what looked like t-shirts in the flshlight.
"Ya'll got some more lights?"
"Reach around to the left wall."
"DesertGrandma, catch up and check for lights."
The clerk said. "You didn't say you had friends."
"You didn't ask."
DesertGrandma and VR caught up. She waved the left wall with her flashlight and spotted the switch. She flipped it and then there was light. I heard a couple of voices.
"Why did the lights come on?"
"I don't know, Hugo. Weren't we suppose to sleep?"
"That's what the boss said."
"When are we ever going to get enough money to go home with?"
"When they sell enough T-shirts to send us to Red."
"I miss the sock drawer, Hugo. I want to see the Queen again." Followed by some snifflin'.
I sorta located them by their talkin'.
"Howdy boys. Hear that you been lookin' for me."
In unison, "Red!"
I looked over at the clerk. "See, I told you we were old friends. Now I'm gonna do you another favor. In about one hour, there's gonna be all sorts of Fed's and cops and such pourin' in around here. I'd hate to see such a nice fellow and your co-worker mixed up in such a bad situation, so why don't you get into your car and kinda wander off for a couple of hours. Besides," as I looked down at a T-shirt, "This here is not an authorized edition of the these T-shirts. Ya'll wouldn't want to be caught with illegal merchandise, would you? What with all them Federales comin'."
"You may have a point there. I'm just a hired hand, but the Feds might not believe me."
"Yep, they can be sooo narrow-minded at times. I'll deal with them. You can come back when the heats off. I promise I won't take any of the T-shirts out of the mine. 'Course I can't guarantee anything the cops do."
"You don't mind if I wander along now?"
"Car's where you left it, untouched. Just don't get any ideas about playin' John Wayne. It gets awful messy."
The clerk left, accelerating as he approached the mine entrance.

I turned to the boys. "How do you like the West?"
"It's awful expensive, Red."
"We didn't have enough money."
"And people looked at us funny when we asked questions."
"How'd you boys get over here in the first place?"
"A friend on MobileRead told us where to mail ourselves. He said we could see America while we sold T-shirts. But we didn't have money to go back with."
"We didn't pack any."
"Right, Lefty."
"So we were trying to earn postage."
"How much did you boys accumulate?"
A little change rattle on a box. "See, eight cents."
"No Hugo, 27 cents."
I saw two nickles and three pennys.
"We need a dollar thirty seven."
"Well, don't worry. I'm gonna take you back to Queen Zelda personally, and give you a tour of my office. You can meet both Mindy and Mrs Slocum, and see a private eye at work."
"Ohhhh."
"Meanwhile, you can talk to VivaldiRules."
"He's here?"
"The Queen was awful worried and sent VR to find you. So, of course, I had to help him out."
"We didn't meant to worry the Queen."
"Maybe you'll remember that the next time you get the itch to travel. People worry when they don't know where you are." I waved at VR. "Here they are, safe and sound. Now I gotta start finishing DesertGrandma's fix."

zelda_pinwheel · 03-28-2009, 08:55 PM

yay !!! red and vr and dg save the day (and the socks !!!) !!!!!

*snif* i'm glad you found them red. not that i doubted you for a minute. i'll be glad to see them back home again.

Greg Anos · 03-30-2009, 09:57 AM

I went out of the mine shaft with L's cellphone until I got a signal. I punched the three stars for Zed's emergency line. I got Zed's bark right off.
"All right L, what's the emergency?"
"Well Zed, this isn't L. It's the Pearl of you ulcer. We need a chat."
"Where's L. And who are you?"
"I'm hurt. After 10 years you don't even remember me. I'll give you a hint, a talkin' dog."
A short pause and then a burst of profanity. "I'll make a brillo pad holder out of your hide, Red!"
"Now, now, Zed, is that any way to greet an old friend."
"The only friends you have are buzzards."
"You left out rattlesnakes. And Gila Monsters. I believe you know some of those."
That got his attention. "What about Gila Monsters."
"Zed, some of your tourists don't have any sense. I don't mind myself, and I understand your need for quiet but some of your boys have gotten a little too frisky doin' their cover-up here. I'm just tryin' to do a peaceful settlement of the hooraw here. You know L still holds a grudge for that limp. I can't seem to get him to show any human kindness at all. Bustin' up a happy marriage is somethin' even a MIB shouldn't ought to do."
A deep sigh at the other end. "Alright, I know I'm gonna regret this, but what's the beef."
I told him about the Gila Monster and the kidnappin'.
"Now Zed, I think I've got the cause of the neuralizer not workin'. I've already passed it on to L, and asked him to let the innocent bystander go. He hasn't done anything to anybody. L's just been a horse's backside. So I called you to see if we can work out a prisoner swap."
"Let me guess, you've got L as your prisoner."
"Right in one, Zed. I'm just tryin' to get this quietly put to bed, so I can catch a Ranger's game and go home. So far, the Black Helicopter boys have been easier to deal with."
"They have less responsibilty. Let me call the Arizona station and cross-check your story. If it holds up, we'll do the swap. Have you killed anybody?"
"Me, Zed? You know I'm a peaceable man. Now the captured man's wife got a bit edgy and bounced a frying pan off'n one of you agent's noggin, but I made sure he got taken to a hospital pronto. He was breathin' we I left."
Another burst of profanity.
"Now Zed, when somebody pulls a gun, he'd better understand that people don't consider it a peace offerin'. If L had just been willin' to listen to reason, instead of sendin' gunnies out to do more kidnappin', there wouldn't have been any flyin' frypans. You need to give that boy a refresher on public relations."
"You mean after kidnappin the husband, he tried to kidnap the wife?"
"Yep, it they both disappeared, things would be real quiet. So he figgered. But the wife had hired me to get her husband back, and L knew it. Not to interfere with your business, just to get her husband back, intact."
"I guess you have a reasonable beef, after all."
"I think so. So if you'll cross-check with your station, and call me back. We'll get this show on the road. And Zed."
"What?"
"Can you give me a mailin' address for L's hardware. I don't really want to give it up until this Mexican standoff is over. Nothin' personal, but I don't trust L or his buddies."
"Ok, find a safe spot and leave it, then call this number," He gave me a cell number, "and tell the person at the other end of the line where it is."
"Sounds great. I'll await you call."

pshrynk · 03-30-2009, 10:04 AM

Somehow, I think we're being set up to think there's a happy ending.

But BadgoodDeb hasn't been around yet...

zelda_pinwheel · 03-30-2009, 10:07 AM

hey now, what's wrong with a happy ending ?? dg should get her husband back intact. and don't forget about hugo and lefty...

pshrynk · 03-30-2009, 10:09 AM

Oh, I'm sure there's a happy ending in here somewhere, but a Red story has more twists than a rattlesnake taking Marengue lessons.

zelda_pinwheel · 03-30-2009, 10:10 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

Oh, I'm sure there's a happy ending in here somewhere, but a Red story has more twists than a rattlesnack taking Marengue lessons.

nice !!!

pshrynk · 03-30-2009, 10:15 AM

Although I have no idea what a rattlesnack would be...

I guess I could ask my granddaughters, since they made regualr snacks out of their rattles.

It seems the answer is: "BUMPA!!!! I go poopie!"

That seems to be a standard answer these days.

Greg Anos · 03-30-2009, 10:18 AM

What's worng with a happy ending? The first story had one.....

Pshrink, maybe one of these days Harv and Vera can visit Red...How about a backyard bar-be-que?

03-28-2009, 08:50 PM	#112
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,531 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	After gettin' watered and loaded up, I pointed the Jeep at the Lazy Lizard. There was a car parked near the mine shaft, so I parked on the other side from it. "Now gang, I'm gonna take point goin'. That's what I get paid for. I hope to keep this to a minimun of disagreement, so don't start bangin' away at anybody unless I say to or it's obviously gettin' out of hand. And last, but not least, don't shoot at the socks, no matter what. I want to get paid." "That's what I like about Red, that modest demeanor." VR told DesertGrandma. I ignored it. "Single file goin' in. VR, you take the rockin' chair, DesertGrandma, you're rear guard. Kinda keep a lookout behind us and keep your purse handy. OK?" "What are we going to do with L?" "Good question. We'll lay him out on the back seat. Since the cloth roof is already up, he should be in shade for an hour or two. After we're done pickin' up Hugo and Lefty, we'll haul him in the mine with us. Any further questions?" No further questions. "Let's roll." I started singin' just to pass the time, and announce our presence. "I owe, I owe, It's off to work I go." As we went into the mine, I turned on my flashlight. First thing I saw was a sign painted with warehouse on it and a fellow sittin beside it. He flipped on a camp light, pointin' up. "Who are you and what do you want here? This is private property." "Yep, this here property is real private, exceptin' I expect you don't have a valid lease from the property owner, nor anybody else. My handle's Red. I'm here to see your bosses. We're old friends." "If you're old friends, maybe you can describe them." "Sure can. A pair of talkin' socks, named Hugo and Lefty. They're from the Kingdom of Pinwheel." "Red, you've been out in the sun too long. Socks don't talk." "Not normally. These are a special exception, just like my little friend here." Since the conversation was goin' nowhere anyways, I figgered it was time to get things movin' again. He looked at my silencered .22. "It that thing loaded?" "Well, I say it's got six full wadcutters in it. It you don't agree and want to sample the merchandise, I can oblige you. As you said, this here is a real private place. Now, how about you gettin' up nice and easy, and let's head back into your warehouse. By the way, where's your co-worker?" "What co-worker?" "Now, are we gonna play the dumb clerk game again? It's not a lotta fun the second time 'round. Besides, Hugo and Lefty aren't gonna like being kept waitin'." "He's moving inventory to a huckster table at the local science-fiction convention." "You'd best be right, else we're liable to have a merchandise swap right here in the mine." A little deeper in the mine was a bend and some crates of what looked like t-shirts in the flshlight. "Ya'll got some more lights?" "Reach around to the left wall." "DesertGrandma, catch up and check for lights." The clerk said. "You didn't say you had friends." "You didn't ask." DesertGrandma and VR caught up. She waved the left wall with her flashlight and spotted the switch. She flipped it and then there was light. I heard a couple of voices. "Why did the lights come on?" "I don't know, Hugo. Weren't we suppose to sleep?" "That's what the boss said." "When are we ever going to get enough money to go home with?" "When they sell enough T-shirts to send us to Red." "I miss the sock drawer, Hugo. I want to see the Queen again." Followed by some snifflin'. I sorta located them by their talkin'. "Howdy boys. Hear that you been lookin' for me." In unison, "Red!" I looked over at the clerk. "See, I told you we were old friends. Now I'm gonna do you another favor. In about one hour, there's gonna be all sorts of Fed's and cops and such pourin' in around here. I'd hate to see such a nice fellow and your co-worker mixed up in such a bad situation, so why don't you get into your car and kinda wander off for a couple of hours. Besides," as I looked down at a T-shirt, "This here is not an authorized edition of the these T-shirts. Ya'll wouldn't want to be caught with illegal merchandise, would you? What with all them Federales comin'." "You may have a point there. I'm just a hired hand, but the Feds might not believe me." "Yep, they can be sooo narrow-minded at times. I'll deal with them. You can come back when the heats off. I promise I won't take any of the T-shirts out of the mine. 'Course I can't guarantee anything the cops do." "You don't mind if I wander along now?" "Car's where you left it, untouched. Just don't get any ideas about playin' John Wayne. It gets awful messy." The clerk left, accelerating as he approached the mine entrance. I turned to the boys. "How do you like the West?" "It's awful expensive, Red." "We didn't have enough money." "And people looked at us funny when we asked questions." "How'd you boys get over here in the first place?" "A friend on MobileRead told us where to mail ourselves. He said we could see America while we sold T-shirts. But we didn't have money to go back with." "We didn't pack any." "Right, Lefty." "So we were trying to earn postage." "How much did you boys accumulate?" A little change rattle on a box. "See, eight cents." "No Hugo, 27 cents." I saw two nickles and three pennys. "We need a dollar thirty seven." "Well, don't worry. I'm gonna take you back to Queen Zelda personally, and give you a tour of my office. You can meet both Mindy and Mrs Slocum, and see a private eye at work." "Ohhhh." "Meanwhile, you can talk to VivaldiRules." "He's here?" "The Queen was awful worried and sent VR to find you. So, of course, I had to help him out." "We didn't meant to worry the Queen." "Maybe you'll remember that the next time you get the itch to travel. People worry when they don't know where you are." I waved at VR. "Here they are, safe and sound. Now I gotta start finishing DesertGrandma's fix." Last edited by Greg Anos; 03-28-2009 at 08:56 PM.

03-30-2009, 09:57 AM	#114
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,531 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	I went out of the mine shaft with L's cellphone until I got a signal. I punched the three stars for Zed's emergency line. I got Zed's bark right off. "All right L, what's the emergency?" "Well Zed, this isn't L. It's the Pearl of you ulcer. We need a chat." "Where's L. And who are you?" "I'm hurt. After 10 years you don't even remember me. I'll give you a hint, a talkin' dog." A short pause and then a burst of profanity. "I'll make a brillo pad holder out of your hide, Red!" "Now, now, Zed, is that any way to greet an old friend." "The only friends you have are buzzards." "You left out rattlesnakes. And Gila Monsters. I believe you know some of those." That got his attention. "What about Gila Monsters." "Zed, some of your tourists don't have any sense. I don't mind myself, and I understand your need for quiet but some of your boys have gotten a little too frisky doin' their cover-up here. I'm just tryin' to do a peaceful settlement of the hooraw here. You know L still holds a grudge for that limp. I can't seem to get him to show any human kindness at all. Bustin' up a happy marriage is somethin' even a MIB shouldn't ought to do." A deep sigh at the other end. "Alright, I know I'm gonna regret this, but what's the beef." I told him about the Gila Monster and the kidnappin'. "Now Zed, I think I've got the cause of the neuralizer not workin'. I've already passed it on to L, and asked him to let the innocent bystander go. He hasn't done anything to anybody. L's just been a horse's backside. So I called you to see if we can work out a prisoner swap." "Let me guess, you've got L as your prisoner." "Right in one, Zed. I'm just tryin' to get this quietly put to bed, so I can catch a Ranger's game and go home. So far, the Black Helicopter boys have been easier to deal with." "They have less responsibilty. Let me call the Arizona station and cross-check your story. If it holds up, we'll do the swap. Have you killed anybody?" "Me, Zed? You know I'm a peaceable man. Now the captured man's wife got a bit edgy and bounced a frying pan off'n one of you agent's noggin, but I made sure he got taken to a hospital pronto. He was breathin' we I left." Another burst of profanity. "Now Zed, when somebody pulls a gun, he'd better understand that people don't consider it a peace offerin'. If L had just been willin' to listen to reason, instead of sendin' gunnies out to do more kidnappin', there wouldn't have been any flyin' frypans. You need to give that boy a refresher on public relations." "You mean after kidnappin the husband, he tried to kidnap the wife?" "Yep, it they both disappeared, things would be real quiet. So he figgered. But the wife had hired me to get her husband back, and L knew it. Not to interfere with your business, just to get her husband back, intact." "I guess you have a reasonable beef, after all." "I think so. So if you'll cross-check with your station, and call me back. We'll get this show on the road. And Zed." "What?" "Can you give me a mailin' address for L's hardware. I don't really want to give it up until this Mexican standoff is over. Nothin' personal, but I don't trust L or his buddies." "Ok, find a safe spot and leave it, then call this number," He gave me a cell number, "and tell the person at the other end of the line where it is." "Sounds great. I'll await you call." Last edited by Greg Anos; 03-30-2009 at 10:01 AM.

03-30-2009, 10:09 AM	#117
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Oh, I'm sure there's a happy ending in here somewhere, but a Red story has more twists than a rattlesnake taking Marengue lessons. Last edited by pshrynk; 03-30-2009 at 10:13 AM.

03-30-2009, 10:18 AM	#120
Greg Anos Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,531 Karma: 37057604 Join Date: Jan 2008 Device: Pocketbook	What's worng with a happy ending? The first story had one..... Pshrink, maybe one of these days Harv and Vera can visit Red...How about a backyard bar-be-que? Last edited by Greg Anos; 03-30-2009 at 10:20 AM.

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03-26-2009, 03:27 PM	#107
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,551 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Hey, it never hurts to have a spare! A little pearl handled something or other. (I've no concept of how big a .44-40 is)

03-28-2009, 08:55 PM	#113
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	yay !!! red and vr and dg save the day (and the socks !!!) !!!!! snif i'm glad you found them red. not that i doubted you for a minute. i'll be glad to see them back home again.

03-30-2009, 10:04 AM	#115
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Somehow, I think we're being set up to think there's a happy ending. But BadgoodDeb hasn't been around yet...

03-30-2009, 10:07 AM	#116
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	hey now, what's wrong with a happy ending ?? dg should get her husband back intact. and don't forget about hugo and lefty...

03-30-2009, 10:15 AM	#119
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Although I have no idea what a rattlesnack would be... I guess I could ask my granddaughters, since they made regualr snacks out of their rattles. It seems the answer is: "BUMPA!!!! I go poopie!" That seems to be a standard answer these days.

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