The Vent and Rant Thread

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

awwww *pets* many (most) of us have been there. it hurts like hell then gets better. promise!

ok, so my vent... I feel soooooo disoriented (?) since I have been home. several times a night I wake up and haven't a clue where I am. this feeling hasn't happened since I was like 6. for a year and a half I traveled EVERY WEEK to a new city for a project I was on. not to mention all the other traveling in hte military and work and fun travel... just trying to say, travel is NOT new to me!

I keep hearing the front door opening and my Dad saying "I'm home!" he only ever visited me in this house 5 times.

I keep waking up thinking about what my son and I need to do in the morning. he's in New Mexico still.

I can't get much beyond watching Arwen and Strider playing. I feel aimless and drifty. is this part of grief? I was allowed to do active and healthy grieving for my Grandmother and Uncle, but felt so tied in knots with my Dad... is this normal?

KK...Hugs!!!! I think all of this is normal.....I was not that close to my parents, but went through all of these things....it is perfectly normal....and it doesn't ever really go away....you just get used to it. Focus on the memories, the good times, the normality of life and that we all face that ultimate end. Celebrate the precious gift you were given to be with him, the precious gift that life is in all it's forms.

Here is a poem I wrote as my Father was facing his last days and I was trying to come to terms with my distant relationship to him...


Old Barn

I see it each day on my drive to work
weathered and worn -- gray as ash
tilting foolishly into the wind.

Its corners worn down at horse-shoulder height --
sunlight and rain through the roof. I
stop one day in my morning rush
to take a closer look.

A door blows open with a screech
and I hear my father yell "Don't let the
damn cows out what's wrong with you boy?"
and it takes me back to that time.

To my dreams of the future
and what it would bring
and how little I knew of life.

I think of him now in bed with no legs
leaning into his final hour and
I wonder if he thinks of those days.
I wonder if he dreams.


Kenny A. Chaffin - 4/15/01

[kindlekitten]

thanks ;o)

My Grandmother actively stated that she was ready to go. that hurt losing her but knowing it really was her decision to will herself to death made it fairly easy to handle. my Uncle went SO quickly, and my cousins and aunt included me in not only in the grieving but the planning of his celebration, it helped. I really couldn't help but feel my mother and sister were telling me to not let the screen door hit me in the ass on the way out

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

thanks ;o)

My Grandmother actively stated that she was ready to go. that hurt losing her but knowing it really was her decision to will herself to death made it fairly easy to handle. my Uncle went SO quickly, and my cousins and aunt included me in not only in the grieving but the planning of his celebration, it helped. I really couldn't help but feel my mother and sister were telling me to not let the screen door hit me in the ass on the way out

And that's been the pattern in the past, the pattern for the future...people fall back on what they know, what they've done, particularly in the face of difficulty. That relationship may change or more likely it may not, you can only be responsible for you and your side of it. You did well, you did right. Now the future beckons. Settle into it, move forward put one foot in front of the other like a wild horse....

[kindlekitten]

well after a week of unusually hot weather here in WA, not to mention what it was in New Mexico, it is very pleasantly cool... high 50s? raining, and perfect kittie weather!

time for kuddles!

[Bilbo1967]

So, I had a test drive of a car booked for this morning. I turned up and was told by the not at all apologetic salesman that the car wasn't available as it had been borrowed by one of the garage's managers for the weekend!

In other words; sod the customer, let's have managers borrowing cars that customers' had booked to test drive. Oh, and let's not bother to ring them up and tell them before they drive all the way to the garage.

Needless to say, I will not be purchasing anything from that garage and they were left in no doubt of that fact

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

So, I had a test drive of a car booked for this morning. I turned up and was told by the not at all apologetic salesman that the car wasn't available as it had been borrowed by one of the garage's managers for the weekend!

In other words; sod the customer, let's have managers borrowing cars that customers' had booked to test drive. Oh, and let's not bother to ring them up and tell them before they drive all the way to the garage.

Needless to say, I will not be purchasing anything from that garage and they were left in no doubt of that fact

OMG, what is WRONG with those idiots!

[Bilbo1967]

Originally Posted by kennyc

OMG, what is WRONG with those idiots!

That's almost exactly what I said only with more expletives

[GeoffC]

Originally Posted by Bilbo1967

So, I had a test drive of a car booked for this morning. I turned up and was told by the not at all apologetic salesman that the car wasn't available as it had been borrowed by one of the garage's managers for the weekend!

In other words; sod the customer, let's have managers borrowing cars that customers' had booked to test drive. Oh, and let's not bother to ring them up and tell them before they drive all the way to the garage.

Needless to say, I will not be purchasing anything from that garage and they were left in no doubt of that fact

Been there in a similar situation ....

[Bilbo1967]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

Been there in a similar situation ....

Has anybody found their bodies yet?

[GeoffC]

not yet - we too just walked away and went elsewhere

[Bilbo1967]

Yes - voting with your feet is the best way. Still too many places in the UK where the words 'customer service' aren't understood at all.

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by GeoffC

DRM .... !

Originally Posted by kennyc

[pilotbob]

Dear UPS Store...

Please update your FRACKING business hours listed on YOUR web site... you know the place people go to get information about your business?

DON'T list that you are open til 5 PM on Saturday if you FRACKING close at 2 PM!!!

From,
Pilot Going-to-use-USPS BOb

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

awwww *pets* many (most) of us have been there. it hurts like hell then gets better. promise!

ok, so my vent... I feel soooooo disoriented (?) since I have been home. several times a night I wake up and haven't a clue where I am. this feeling hasn't happened since I was like 6. for a year and a half I traveled EVERY WEEK to a new city for a project I was on. not to mention all the other traveling in hte military and work and fun travel... just trying to say, travel is NOT new to me!

I keep hearing the front door opening and my Dad saying "I'm home!" he only ever visited me in this house 5 times.

I keep waking up thinking about what my son and I need to do in the morning. he's in New Mexico still.

I can't get much beyond watching Arwen and Strider playing. I feel aimless and drifty. is this part of grief? I was allowed to do active and healthy grieving for my Grandmother and Uncle, but felt so tied in knots with my Dad... is this normal?

I still have dreams of my parents. Somehow I never realize they're gone until I'm fully awake. My father died in 1967, my mother in 2000.

In time, you'll come to cherish those dreams. It will be as if somehow he's still a part of your life.

For now, it's hard. I know. You've suffered a great loss. Perhaps knowing you aren't alone will be at least a small comfort. It gets better.

[nohmi2]

Dear KK.

What you are feeling is the most natural thing in the world. I know that the hurt can even become a physical pain, but is this what your Dad would be wanting for you?

All that I can offer you is this poem.

This is a poem which was sent to me many years ago, and which when enough time has passed, gave me some comfort.

Miss me, but let me go.


When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me
I want no rites in a gloom filled room.
Why cry for a soul set free


Miss me a little - but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low.
Remember the love that we once shared.
Miss me - but let me go


For this is a journey that we must all take,
And each must go alone
It's all a part of the Master's plan.
A step on the road to home


When you are lonely, and sick of heart,
Go to the friends we know
And bury your sorrows in doing good deeds
Miss me - but let me go.

Sincerely.

Nohmi