Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 742

Elektron · 09-06-2020, 12:10 PM

Lol.

drjd · 09-08-2020, 06:04 AM

There are three types of people, those who can count and those who cant.

drjd · 09-12-2020, 06:11 AM

Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia.

When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly.

The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?"

The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

Adoby · 09-12-2020, 08:11 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

There are three types of people, those who can count and those who cant.

There are 10 types of people. One type understands binary and all the other nine types don't.

drjd · 09-13-2020, 06:31 AM

"To do is to be..." – Descartes.
"To be is to do..." – Sartre.
"Do be do be do..." – Sinatra!

pdurrant · 09-13-2020, 10:10 AM

"Yabba dabba doo!" — Flintstone

drjd · 09-14-2020, 06:29 AM

Lawyer: "Is it a crime to throw sodium in your enemy's eyes?"
Judge: "Yes, that's assault."
Lawyer: "I know it's a salt but is it a crime?"

drjd · 09-15-2020, 05:44 AM

"I have good news and bad news", a defense attorney told his client.

"First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress."

"Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?"

"Your cholesterol is down to 140!"

drjd · 09-16-2020, 05:45 AM

"Don't give up on your dreams."
"Really? You mean it?"
"Yeah, just keep sleeping."

drjd · 09-17-2020, 06:52 AM

Does anybody here know what to do if a bear attacks?

A lot of people do think you are supposed to play dead, which is not what you're supposed to do.
And the best thing about playing dead is -- that's like a rumor that bears spread.

drjd · 09-18-2020, 06:33 AM

Our generation never got a break. When we were young they taught us to respect our elders...
Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of the country.

drjd · 09-19-2020, 06:19 AM

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

drjd · 09-20-2020, 06:15 AM

I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him...
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

cromag · 09-21-2020, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him...
I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

Release the Quakens!

drjd · 09-21-2020, 06:15 AM

Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing.

An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...

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09-06-2020, 12:10 PM	#11116
Elektron Banned Posts: 2,296 Karma: 5300240 Join Date: Jun 2020 Location: Edmonton, AB Device: Kobo Aura H2O Edition 2 (mark 7), Kobo Mini	Lol.

09-08-2020, 06:04 AM	#11117
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	There are three types of people, those who can count and those who cant.

09-12-2020, 06:11 AM	#11118
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Two Alabama State Troopers were chasing a Camaro East on I-20 toward Georgia. When the suspect crossed the Georgia line, the first Trooper pulled over quickly. The rookie Trooper pulled in behind him and said, "Hey, sarge, why did you stop?" The sarge replied, "He's in Georgia now. They're an hour ahead of us, so we'll never catch him."

09-13-2020, 06:31 AM	#11120
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	"To do is to be..." – Descartes. "To be is to do..." – Sartre. "Do be do be do..." – Sinatra!

09-13-2020, 10:10 AM	#11121
pdurrant The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠 Posts: 74,109 Karma: 315558332 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Norfolk, England Device: Kindle Oasis	"Yabba dabba doo!" — Flintstone

09-14-2020, 06:29 AM	#11122
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Lawyer: "Is it a crime to throw sodium in your enemy's eyes?" Judge: "Yes, that's assault." Lawyer: "I know it's a salt but is it a crime?"

09-15-2020, 05:44 AM	#11123
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	"I have good news and bad news", a defense attorney told his client. "First the bad news: The blood test came back, and your DNA is an exact match with the sample found on the victim's dress." "Oh, no - I'm ruined!" cried the client. "What's the good news?" "Your cholesterol is down to 140!"

09-16-2020, 05:45 AM	#11124
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	"Don't give up on your dreams." "Really? You mean it?" "Yeah, just keep sleeping."

09-17-2020, 06:52 AM	#11125
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Does anybody here know what to do if a bear attacks? A lot of people do think you are supposed to play dead, which is not what you're supposed to do. And the best thing about playing dead is -- that's like a rumor that bears spread.

09-18-2020, 06:33 AM	#11126
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Our generation never got a break. When we were young they taught us to respect our elders... Now that we are older, they tell us to listen to the youth of the country.

09-19-2020, 06:19 AM	#11127
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

09-20-2020, 06:15 AM	#11128
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I can’t take my dog to the park because the ducks keep trying to bite him... I guess that’s what I get for buying a pure bread dog.

09-21-2020, 06:15 AM	#11130
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Having arrived at the edge of the river, the fisherman soon realized he had forgotten to bring any bait. Just then he happened to see a little snake passing by who had caught a worm. The fisherman snatched up the snake and robbed him of his worm. Feeling sorry for the little snake with no lunch, he snatched him up again and poured a little beer down his throat. Then he went about his fishing. An hour or so later the fisherman felt a tug at his pant leg. Looking down, he saw the same snake with three more worms in his mouth...