The Vent and Rant Thread

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Arrrrg KK what a difficult situation. I guess the harder question is what is the prognosis on your father. Hospice usually means "the end is near" but how near is a different question. In other words is this a short, medium or long-term situation or is it unknown? In any case the finances, insurance, support available all need to be weighed and decisions made to the benefit of those that will be involved on a day-to-day basis....

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

Alzheimer is a slow killer. A patient will not be able to walk in their last three years and be needy of constant supervision. Only a hospice has the necessary facilities to care for such patients.

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

Dad keeps asking to come home. there is plenty of room to put up a hospital bed and make him comfortable. sure, Mom cannot care for him herself. she no longer drives, this means regardless of what happens, if Dad is in a facility, someone has to be here to drive her around. that same someone can be here to help her with Dad. she refuses to understand how hospice works and the amount of people that are available to come in and DO come in every day to assist with care. that you are never a "prisoner" in your home. I've been trying to tell her that she needs to meet with her broker, I've already gotten her accountant in to meet with her, and determine a cut off time as to when paying that extra money needs to stop.

not to mention that Dad would be happier and much more comfortable at home. once they are on hospice care, no heroic measures are made. no IVs, no resusitation, just comfort. once again I am the bad guy because I ask the hard questions and make people think. and get treated like shit for my efforts.

*end rant*

What a vile situation to be in (((hugs))) - I hope the pastor can make her see sense.

Originally Posted by kennyc

So maybe I'm misunderstanding. I thought he was in a hospice facility already, but maybe I missed something. Sounds like what you are advocating is at-home hospice care, right?

I had to read it twice - in the UK hospice generally refers to an institution rather than care at home. The ones I've had experience of do sterling work, too.

Originally Posted by recluse

From one black sheep to another:
In your heart and mind, you know the right answer.
That is the only option.
They just have to live with it.
I have been put in that position once too often.
Even if no one ever tells you "I'm sorry. You were right", if they never speak to you again, the price of the Pariah.
Better to know in your heart, you did the right thing.
A Bronze Star for your soul, KK.
No one admits you earned it or deserved it.
No one but you. And me.
*BIG HUG*

What Recluse said - can't say it any better.

Originally Posted by pilotbob

2 days to get 1 line of code working. Oh... Microsoft... your documentation on Silverlight is tres sucky!

Thank god for bloggers. Of course, there was alot of old info out there to.

EVERY BLOG should have a farking date on each article.

GOOGLE should rank stuff based on how old is it too. When I search for info newer info should be returned before some blog post from two years ago.

BOb

Not fun - and I agree on the dates and rankings thing. I only want to read a 2006 fix for something if there is nothing more recent.

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Alzheimer is a slow killer. A patient will not be able to walk in their last three years and be needy of constant supervision. Only a hospice has the necessary facilities to care for such patients.

And if the yeti or I look like we're going to end up in that state, we plan on taking a one-way trip to Switzerland, unless the law changes in the UK.

[WT Sharpe]

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Alzheimer is a slow killer. A patient will not be able to walk in their last three years and be needy of constant supervision. Only a hospice has the necessary facilities to care for such patients.

We took care of my mother-in-law in the daytime during her final days with the illness. We had to keep all the doors locked and remove all the knobs from the stove, among other things, and watch her like a hawk. It wasn't easy.

[kennyc]

Originally Posted by ShortNCuddlyAm

....
And if the yeti or I look like we're going to end up in that state, we plan on taking a one-way trip to Switzerland, unless the law changes in the UK.

Exactly!

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Arrrrg KK what a difficult situation. I guess the harder question is what is the prognosis on your father. Hospice usually means "the end is near" but how near is a different question. In other words is this a short, medium or long-term situation or is it unknown? In any case the finances, insurance, support available all need to be weighed and decisions made to the benefit of those that will be involved on a day-to-day basis....

{{{{{HUGS}}}}}

he is receiving hospice care at an assisted living facility. I haave been trying to explain to my Mom that the people she is seeing she would continue to see if he were to come home. in addition to the scads of other folks that have offered to help. his duration is unknown. truly the 2; days, weeks, months, years

Originally Posted by kennyc

wouldn't that be loose black wool?



Hey look 10,003 and I wasted my 10K post on that damn H_T!

must be ashes. not losing my fur. at least not yet

Originally Posted by kennyc

So maybe I'm misunderstanding. I thought he was in a hospice facility already, but maybe I missed something. Sounds like what you are advocating is at-home hospice care, right?

yes, that is what I am advocating

Originally Posted by recluse

From one black sheep to another:
In your heart and mind, you know the right answer.
That is the only option.
They just have to live with it.
I have been put in that position once too often.
Even if no one ever tells you "I'm sorry. You were right", if they never speak to you again, the price of the Pariah.
Better to know in your heart, you did the right thing.
A Bronze Star for your soul, KK.
No one admits you earned it or deserved it.
No one but you. And me.
*BIG HUG*

always been the one in trouble, why would now be any different? I'm ready for the ostracism if that is what it takes

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Alzheimer is a slow killer. A patient will not be able to walk in their last three years and be needy of constant supervision. Only a hospice has the necessary facilities to care for such patients.

he doesn't actually have Alzheimers, just mild form of dementia. congestive heart failure is what is killing him. his heart is functioning at 15% capacity

[kennyc]

Thanks for the clarifications! Hang in there, know we are all behind you. Let us help if we can.

How about I trebuchet you one (or both ) of my cats.

[DMcCunney]

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Alzheimer is a slow killer. A patient will not be able to walk in their last three years and be needy of constant supervision. Only a hospice has the necessary facilities to care for such patients.

The parents of my old friend Bill are in an assisted living facility. Both are in their 90's. Dad is still there, but Mom has advanced Alzheimers. As Bill put it, "She has her good days and her good days. She has good days when she's here in the present and aware of who is around her, and she has her good days when she's happily talking to old friends who have been dead for years. Either way, she's happy..."

Things are made more manageable because Bill's brother and his wife live near the facility, and sister-in-law is a surgeon attached to a local hospital, so competent and concerned medical assistance is a few minutes away if a problem arises.
_____
Dennis

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by kennyc

Thanks for the clarifications! Hang in there, know we are all behind you. Let us help if we can.

How about I trebuchet you one (or both ) of my cats.

thanks, but I want MY kitties! especially little baby Arwen *sniff*

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

The parents of my old friend Bill are in an assisted living facility. Both are in their 90's. Dad is still there, but Mom has advanced Alzheimers. As Bill put it, "She has her good days and her good days. She has good days when she's here in the present and aware of who is around her, and she has her good days when she's happily talking to old friends who have been dead for years. Either way, she's happy..."

Things are made more manageable because Bill's brother and his wife live near the facility, and sister-in-law is a surgeon attached to a local hospital, so competent and concerned medical assistance is a few minutes away if a problem arises.
_____
Dennis

this isn't classic Alzheimers, so it is quite a bit different. Dad has ok times, and, I'm not even sure if I can call it lala land

[yvanleterrible]

Originally Posted by kindlekitten

he doesn't actually have Alzheimers, just mild form of dementia. congestive heart failure is what is killing him. his heart is functioning at 15% capacity

Sorry for the misunderstanding. Alzheimer used to be called dementia before.

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Sorry for the misunderstanding. Alzheimer used to be called dementia before.

I know, but there are actually different identified types now.

VENT:

I've lost my Kindle!!!!! OMG!!!!!

I've spent the last hour or so tearing the house apart, going through the truck. called the place I had lunch, called the facility Dad is at.... I can't find it!!!!!!!!

I gave one of my K1's to my son, loaned the other to my physical therapists daughter. I can't get through the next 2 months being here and traveling to Mexico without a Kindle!!!! DAMNIT!!!!!

[yvanleterrible]

Ouch!
I don't know what I'd do without my iPad. It's become a BIG part of my life in such a short time...

Can you read a book on a computer? I can't...

[kindlekitten]

I can't go to sleep without reading. I can't take the computer to bed. I can't take the computer to the facility where Dad's at.

how did I go from 3 kindles to none! *sob*

[yvanleterrible]

You must have a special way and place you usually carry it about?
Did you use it last night? Where and when did you use it last?
Is anyone else in that household interested in it that might have tried it?
I think you have to work the "Little Gray Cells" as Poirot would say.

[recluse]

Oh, my poor Kindlekitten!
The horror!
*HUGE HUG*

[kindlekitten]

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

You must have a special way and place you usually carry it about?
Did you use it last night? Where and when did you use it last?
Is anyone else in that household interested in it that might have tried it?
I think you have to work the "Little Gray Cells" as Poirot would say.

I know I had it when I ate lunch today. I ate out by myself and read. I ran one errand after that, then went to where Dad is at. at first I did not have my purse with me, but then needed to pay for him to have a pedicure so went to get it. I don't recall having taken it out there, but have already called there and they could not find it. I went to 4 other stores after. I have such a routine about taking things out of my purse and making sure that I put them back in if I do. I will retrace my steps tomorrow... but who knows.

Originally Posted by recluse

Oh, my poor Kindlekitten!
The horror!
*HUGE HUG*

it totally is. which is why I had vowed to always own a minnimum of 2 kindles, and here I am with none. I've thrashed about a bit trying to calm down and read and think where it is. then I remembered. I can return a kindle in 30 days with no reason. I shouldn't, but I went ahead and ordered a new one. it will be here Monday. it's worth the sanity issues. who knows? if the other one shows up maybe one of my relatives will buy one off of me (hah!!!!) I'll rest easier, but this weekend will be a stress ball