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Old 05-15-2020, 10:27 PM   #10966
cromag
Surfin the alpha waves ~~
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Not me, but feel free to chime in!
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Old 05-16-2020, 08:37 AM   #10967
drjd
The Couch Potato
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Einstein finally finished his theory of relativity...
It’s about time!
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Old 05-16-2020, 06:33 PM   #10968
Bookpossum
Snoozing in the sun
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Originally Posted by drjd View Post
Einstein finally finished his theory of relativity...
It’s about time!
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Old 05-18-2020, 03:24 PM   #10969
drjd
The Couch Potato
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What's white and if it fell out of a tree would kill you?

A fridge.
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Old 05-18-2020, 04:38 PM   #10970
wodin
Illiterate
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4691mls View Post
Anybody know any good knock-knock jokes?
is there such a thing?
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Old 05-19-2020, 02:25 AM   #10971
pdurrant
The Grand Mouse 高貴的老鼠
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Knock-knock

Who's There?

Wodin

Wodin Who?

Wodin't you like to know!
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Old 05-19-2020, 03:23 AM   #10972
cromag
Surfin the alpha waves ~~
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Quote:
Originally Posted by 4691mls View Post
Anybody know any good knock-knock jokes?
Quote:
Originally Posted by wodin View Post
is there such a thing?
Quote:
Originally Posted by pdurrant View Post
Knock-knock

Who's There?

Wodin

Wodin Who?

Wodin't you like to know!

Apparently not.
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Old 05-19-2020, 06:18 AM   #10973
drjd
The Couch Potato
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When the drug dealers got divorced, they agreed to joint custody.
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Old 05-20-2020, 06:55 AM   #10974
drjd
The Couch Potato
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HEARSAY: what toddlers do when anyone mutters a dirty word.
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Old 05-24-2020, 05:54 AM   #10975
drjd
The Couch Potato
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Horoscope humor...
How many members of your sign does it take to change a light bulb?

ARIES:
Just one. You want to make something of it?

TAURUS:
One, but just try to convince them that the burned-out bulb is useless and should be thrown away.

GEMINI:
Two, but the job never gets done-they just keep discussing who is supposed to do it and how it's supposed to be done!

CANCER:
Just one. But it takes a therapist three years to help them through the grieving process.

LEO:
Leos don't change light bulbs, although sometimes their agent will get a Virgo in to do the job for them while they're out.

VIRGO:
Approximately 1.000000 with an error of +/- 1 millionth.

LIBRA:
ER, two. Or maybe one. No, on second thought, make that two. Is that OK with you?

SCORPIO:
That information is strictly secret and shared only with the Enlightened Ones in the Star Chamber of the Ancient Hierarchical Order.

SAGITTARIUS:
The sun is shining, the day is young, we've got our whole lives ahead of us, and you're inside worrying about a stupid burned- out light bulb?

CAPRICORN:
I don't waste my time with these childish jokes.

AQUARIUS:
Well, you have to remember that everything is energy, so....

PISCES:
Light bulb? What light bulb?
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Old 05-24-2020, 05:58 AM   #10976
doubleshuffle
Unicycle Daredevil
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How many therapists does it take to change a lightbulb?

Spoiler:
Just one. But the lightbulb must really want it.
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Old 05-25-2020, 06:23 AM   #10977
drjd
The Couch Potato
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If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Chuck Norris would ever fight himself, he'd win. Period.
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Old 05-26-2020, 07:25 AM   #10978
drjd
The Couch Potato
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In some large stores it is now illegal to buy more than one package of toilet paper. The police have named it 'The Big Crack Down'.
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Old 05-26-2020, 03:55 PM   #10979
wodin
Illiterate
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Quote:
Originally Posted by pdurrant View Post
Knock-knock

Who's There?

Wodin

Wodin Who?

Wodin't you like to know!
Nope, I already know.
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Old 05-27-2020, 07:03 AM   #10980
drjd
The Couch Potato
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Q: How many light bulbs does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One, if it knows its own Goedel number.
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