Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 730

drjd · 05-03-2020, 07:53 AM

After he bought a dictionary and thesaurus his life became more meaningful.

doubleshuffle · 05-04-2020, 07:10 AM

Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Because they are two tired.

drjd · 05-04-2020, 07:11 AM

I was struggling to get my wife’s attention...

So I simply sat down and looked comfortable.
That did the trick.

drjd · 05-04-2020, 07:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Because they are two tired.

Last week I forgot how to ride a bicycle.
I took lessons in bicycle riding. But I could only afford half of them. Now I can ride a unicycle.

doubleshuffle · 05-05-2020, 04:31 AM

-You know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?
-Yeah, I know. Belgium.
-Perhaps. But mainly in Greece.

drjd · 05-05-2020, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

-You know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?
-Yeah, I know. Belgium.
-Perhaps. But mainly in Greece.

Groan...

cromag · 05-05-2020, 08:51 PM

As an acoustical engineer, Bosley knew that if he farted in the echo chamber he'd never hear the end of it.

drjd · 05-06-2020, 12:54 PM

As I think you know, Pi is an irrational number. So far, all efforts to calm it down have failed.

pdurrant · 05-06-2020, 03:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

As I think you know, Pi is an irrational number. So far, all efforts to calm it down have failed.

The square root of 2 is irrational.
Pi is transcendental. (And wrong.)

drjd · 05-07-2020, 07:08 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

The square root of 2 is irrational.
Pi is transcendental. (And wrong.)

Tau art correct, O Julius!

drjd · 05-07-2020, 07:10 AM

Aviator: First one wing came off and then the other.

Listener: What did you do?

Aviator: I grabbed a drumstick and had a second helping.

drjd · 05-08-2020, 08:33 AM

A nurse received a call from an anxious patient.

"I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," the caller said.

"Are you light-headed?" the nurse asked.

"No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

drjd · 05-09-2020, 10:21 AM

Commuters live in a clock-eyed world.

drjd · 05-11-2020, 06:36 AM

You first parents of the human race...who ruined yourself for an apple, what might you have done for a truffled turkey?

drjd · 05-12-2020, 06:08 AM

I used to be in a band called The Hinges...
We opened for The Doors!

05-05-2020, 08:51 PM	#10942
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,487 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	As an acoustical engineer, Bosley knew that if he farted in the echo chamber he'd never hear the end of it. Last edited by cromag; 05-05-2020 at 09:11 PM.

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05-03-2020, 07:53 AM	#10936
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	After he bought a dictionary and thesaurus his life became more meaningful.

05-04-2020, 07:10 AM	#10937
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Why can't bicycles stand up on their own? Because they are two tired.

05-04-2020, 07:11 AM	#10938
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I was struggling to get my wife’s attention... So I simply sat down and looked comfortable. That did the trick.

05-05-2020, 04:31 AM	#10940
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	-You know the first French fries weren't cooked in France? -Yeah, I know. Belgium. -Perhaps. But mainly in Greece.

05-06-2020, 12:54 PM	#10943
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	As I think you know, Pi is an irrational number. So far, all efforts to calm it down have failed.

05-07-2020, 07:10 AM	#10946
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Aviator: First one wing came off and then the other. Listener: What did you do? Aviator: I grabbed a drumstick and had a second helping.

05-08-2020, 08:33 AM	#10947
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A nurse received a call from an anxious patient. "I'm diabetic and I'm afraid I've had too much sugar today," the caller said. "Are you light-headed?" the nurse asked. "No," the caller answered, "I'm a brunette."

05-09-2020, 10:21 AM	#10948
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Commuters live in a clock-eyed world.

05-11-2020, 06:36 AM	#10949
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	You first parents of the human race...who ruined yourself for an apple, what might you have done for a truffled turkey?

05-12-2020, 06:08 AM	#10950
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I used to be in a band called The Hinges... We opened for The Doors!