Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 725

drjd · 03-03-2020, 05:59 AM

The mirror maker felt like it was time to retire from his work, he just couldn’t see himself doing it anymore.

drjd · 03-06-2020, 11:33 AM

Tourist: "The flies are awfully thick around here. Don’t you ever shoo them?"

Native: "Nope, we just let them go barefoot."

drjd · 03-07-2020, 05:56 AM

I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control.

I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

doubleshuffle · 03-09-2020, 05:20 PM

*groan alert*

The art robbers fled in a van, but were quickly caught by the police. The didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

Adoby · 03-10-2020, 03:48 AM

Heard at the old country in:

Guest: There are too many flies in the outhouse toilet! It is disgusting!

Waiter: Please come back on Wednesday. Then there are hardly any flies in the outhouse.

Guest: Oh... How strange... What happens on Wednesdays?

Waiter: We serve the big open sandwich Smörgåsbord Buffé all Wednesday.

drjd · 03-10-2020, 07:02 AM

A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank..

The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type-O!"

doubleshuffle · 03-12-2020, 07:37 AM

Egan the odd-job man is useless. I gave him a list of jobs to do and he only did one, three, five and seven.

drjd · 03-13-2020, 07:27 AM

Quasimodo goes to a doctor for an annual checkup. "I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says.

"What makes you think that?" asks Quasimodo.

"I don't know," the doctor replies. "It's just a hunch."

drjd · 03-14-2020, 05:56 AM

I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.

cromag · 03-14-2020, 06:11 PM

It is said that the tears of Chuck Norris can cure COVID-19.

Unfortunately, Chuck Norris does not cry.

Dazrin · 03-16-2020, 12:49 PM

This guy has the right idea it sounds like.

badgoodDeb · 03-16-2020, 02:07 PM

Well but ...

Dazrin · 03-17-2020, 01:17 PM

Are you an optimist or a pessimist if the glass is half full of something you didn't want in the first place?

Spoiler:

drjd · 03-18-2020, 06:26 AM

Odorless perfumes are non-scents.

drjd · 03-19-2020, 06:43 AM

Morsel is the aim of the marketing department.

03-16-2020, 12:49 PM	#10871
Dazrin Wizard Posts: 2,733 Karma: 75825105 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: PDXish Device: Kindle Voyage, various Android devices	This guy has the right idea it sounds like. Attached Thumbnails

03-16-2020, 02:07 PM	#10872
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,555 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Well but ... Attached Thumbnails Last edited by badgoodDeb; 03-16-2020 at 02:10 PM.

03-17-2020, 01:17 PM	#10873
Dazrin Wizard Posts: 2,733 Karma: 75825105 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: PDXish Device: Kindle Voyage, various Android devices	Are you an optimist or a pessimist if the glass is half full of something you didn't want in the first place? Spoiler: Shamelessly stolen from Frazz. One of my favorite (and sometime literary) comics.

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03-03-2020, 05:59 AM	#10861
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The mirror maker felt like it was time to retire from his work, he just couldn’t see himself doing it anymore.

03-06-2020, 11:33 AM	#10862
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Tourist: "The flies are awfully thick around here. Don’t you ever shoo them?" Native: "Nope, we just let them go barefoot."

03-07-2020, 05:56 AM	#10863
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I remember the first time I saw a universal remote control. I thought to myself... "Well this changes everything!"

03-09-2020, 05:20 PM	#10864
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	groan alert The art robbers fled in a van, but were quickly caught by the police. The didn't have the Monet to buy Degas to make the Van Gogh.

03-10-2020, 03:48 AM	#10865
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	Heard at the old country in: Guest: There are too many flies in the outhouse toilet! It is disgusting! Waiter: Please come back on Wednesday. Then there are hardly any flies in the outhouse. Guest: Oh... How strange... What happens on Wednesdays? Waiter: We serve the big open sandwich Smörgåsbord Buffé all Wednesday.

03-10-2020, 07:02 AM	#10866
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A priest, a minister, and a rabbit walk into a blood bank.. The rabbit says, "I think I might be a type-O!"

03-12-2020, 07:37 AM	#10867
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Egan the odd-job man is useless. I gave him a list of jobs to do and he only did one, three, five and seven.

03-13-2020, 07:27 AM	#10868
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Quasimodo goes to a doctor for an annual checkup. "I think something is wrong with your back," the doctor says. "What makes you think that?" asks Quasimodo. "I don't know," the doctor replies. "It's just a hunch."

03-14-2020, 05:56 AM	#10869
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I didn't use to care much for most puns but over time some of them have groan on me.

03-14-2020, 06:11 PM	#10870
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,499 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	It is said that the tears of Chuck Norris can cure COVID-19. Unfortunately, Chuck Norris does not cry.

03-18-2020, 06:26 AM	#10874
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Odorless perfumes are non-scents.

03-19-2020, 06:43 AM	#10875
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Morsel is the aim of the marketing department.