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Old 01-28-2020, 01:27 PM   #10831
drjd
The Couch Potato
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How do you get the farmer’s daughter to fall in love with you?

A tractor.
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Old 01-28-2020, 01:52 PM   #10832
badgoodDeb
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How do you get the farmer’s daughter to fall in love with you?

A tractor.
.
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Old 01-29-2020, 05:47 AM   #10833
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Long ago when men cursed and beat the ground with sticks, it was called witchcraft...

Today, it's called golf.
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Old 01-30-2020, 02:05 PM   #10834
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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We ran out of lettuce today. My sister said there was none romaining.
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Old 02-01-2020, 05:03 AM   #10835
drjd
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You are driving in a car at a constant speed. On your left side is a 'drop off', (The ground is 18-20 inches below the level you are traveling on), and on your right side is a fire engine traveling at the same speed as you. In front of you is a galloping horse, which is the same size as your car and you cannot overtake it. Behind you is a galloping zebra. Both the horse and zebra are also traveling at the same speed as you. What must you do to safely get out of this highly dangerous situation?
* Get your drunk-ass off the merry-go-round.
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Old 02-03-2020, 08:49 AM   #10836
drjd
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My books all piled on top of me, I've only got my shelf to blame.
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Old 02-05-2020, 05:04 AM   #10837
drjd
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Is trading a cephalopod for a corvine avian considered squid pro crow?
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Old 02-05-2020, 07:31 AM   #10838
Adoby
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My books all piled on top of me, I've only got my shelf to blame.
Almost the same happened to me. I got booked, just in case.
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Old 02-05-2020, 08:04 AM   #10839
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Kinky male book lover was booked by policewoman.
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Old 02-06-2020, 12:17 PM   #10840
drjd
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I used ‘veranda' as an expletive. It was a porch choice of words.
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Old 02-07-2020, 06:40 AM   #10841
drjd
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John: "My grandpa is 98 years old, and he doesn't even use glasses."

Jack: "Wow, that is incredible!"

John: "Yep, he drinks straight from the bottle."
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Old 02-08-2020, 05:08 AM   #10842
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Why didn’t the Sun go to college?

Because it already had a million degrees!
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Old 02-09-2020, 05:57 AM   #10843
drjd
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A man walks into his doctor’s office and says, “Doctor, I think I’m addicted to Twitter.”

The doctor looks at him and says, “Sorry, I don’t follow you."
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Old 02-10-2020, 06:22 AM   #10844
drjd
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drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.drjd ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Q) Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?

A) Because they were trans-parents!
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Old 02-13-2020, 12:34 AM   #10845
yvanleterrible
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Q) Why couldn’t the ghost see its mom and dad?

A) Because they were trans-parents!
Trans-parents? As the mother is the father and the father is the mother?
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