Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 721

Fbone · 01-05-2020, 06:23 PM

A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money ...

So I woke up and searched with him!

doubleshuffle · 01-06-2020, 07:34 AM

I met a Frenchman in sandals the other day. His name was Philippe Philoppe.

drjd · 01-07-2020, 06:11 AM

I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she was googling my name last night on her computer...

I saw it clearly through my binoculars!

Fbone · 01-07-2020, 03:26 PM

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

drjd · 01-08-2020, 05:30 AM

What sort of television programmes do ducks like?

Duckumentaries.

drjd · 01-09-2020, 05:22 AM

Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

doubleshuffle · 01-09-2020, 03:06 PM

This seems to be making the social media round at the moment, and I really like it:

Shakespeare walks into a gay bar.

[Exit, pursued by a bear.]

drjd · 01-10-2020, 05:20 AM

If you see a robbery at an Apple Store.

Does that make you an iWitness?

drjd · 01-11-2020, 05:15 AM

What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American Literature?

Tequila Mockingbird.

DMcCunney · 01-11-2020, 11:02 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American Literature?

Tequila Mockingbird.

There is one: https://www.diffordsguide.com/cockta...la-mockingbird

______
Dennis

drjd · 01-12-2020, 05:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

There is one: https://www.diffordsguide.com/cockta...la-mockingbird

______
Dennis

Oops!

drjd · 01-12-2020, 05:08 AM

Is it unlucky to drink on Friday the thirteenth, or is it merely stuporstition?

Adoby · 01-12-2020, 10:22 AM

There is something wrong with the crisps down at the pub.

The day after I always get a splitting headache and a dry mouth.

drjd · 01-14-2020, 01:17 PM

I was asking my friend at what point did Celsius and Fahrenheit become the same.

One of my other buddies quickly chimed in, "-40 degrees..."

Impressed I said, "I didn't know you were so knowledgeable in weather science?"

"I'm not," he said. "But I have been to Minnesota."

drjd · 01-15-2020, 06:11 AM

Seeing her friend Marcia wearing a new locket, Ashley asks if there is a memento of some sort inside.

“Yes,” says Marcia, “a lock of my husband’s hair.”

“But Larry’s still alive?”

“I know, but his hair is gone.”

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01-05-2020, 06:23 PM	#10801
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,299 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	A thief broke into my house last night. He started searching for money ... So I woke up and searched with him!

01-06-2020, 07:34 AM	#10802
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	I met a Frenchman in sandals the other day. His name was Philippe Philoppe.

01-07-2020, 06:11 AM	#10803
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I fear my neighbor may be stalking me, she was googling my name last night on her computer... I saw it clearly through my binoculars!

01-07-2020, 03:26 PM	#10804
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,299 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

01-08-2020, 05:30 AM	#10805
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What sort of television programmes do ducks like? Duckumentaries.

01-09-2020, 05:22 AM	#10806
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Have you ever tried to eat a clock? It's very time consuming.

01-09-2020, 03:06 PM	#10807
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	This seems to be making the social media round at the moment, and I really like it: Shakespeare walks into a gay bar. [Exit, pursued by a bear.]

01-10-2020, 05:20 AM	#10808
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	If you see a robbery at an Apple Store. Does that make you an iWitness?

01-11-2020, 05:15 AM	#10809
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What do you call it when you mix alcohol and American Literature? Tequila Mockingbird.

01-12-2020, 05:08 AM	#10812
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Is it unlucky to drink on Friday the thirteenth, or is it merely stuporstition?

01-12-2020, 10:22 AM	#10813
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	There is something wrong with the crisps down at the pub. The day after I always get a splitting headache and a dry mouth.

01-14-2020, 01:17 PM	#10814
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I was asking my friend at what point did Celsius and Fahrenheit become the same. One of my other buddies quickly chimed in, "-40 degrees..." Impressed I said, "I didn't know you were so knowledgeable in weather science?" "I'm not," he said. "But I have been to Minnesota."

01-15-2020, 06:11 AM	#10815
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Seeing her friend Marcia wearing a new locket, Ashley asks if there is a memento of some sort inside. “Yes,” says Marcia, “a lock of my husband’s hair.” “But Larry’s still alive?” “I know, but his hair is gone.”