Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 720

drjd · 01-01-2020, 05:51 AM

Wife - Happy New Year.

Husband - Promise ???

Adoby · 01-01-2020, 12:48 PM

I used to have problems with finishing projects and tasks. Seeing things through before I start new projects.

But now I have figured out how to change that and become much more successful and happy! It is simple, all

BookCat · 01-01-2020, 02:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Adoby

I used to have problems with finishing projects and tasks. Seeing things through before I start new projects.

But now I have figured out how to change that and become much more successful and happy! It is simple, all

Are you going to tell us how? Or have I missed something?

Adoby · 01-01-2020, 02:12 PM

Oops! Sorry. Yes, of course I will tell you how I learned how to finish projects and tasks before I start new. I just

BookCat · 01-01-2020, 02:13 PM

crich70 · 01-02-2020, 12:31 AM

The procrastinators club is making plans to eventually decide when and where to meet. They just have to get round to it.

Dazrin · 01-02-2020, 01:28 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by crich70

The procrastinators club is making plans to eventually decide when and where to meet. They just have to get round to it.

They are welcome to borrow mine:

drjd · 01-02-2020, 05:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dazrin

They are welcome to borrow mine:

Groan!

drjd · 01-02-2020, 05:36 AM

Why isn't there democracy in North Korea?

Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle.

drjd · 01-03-2020, 04:51 AM

Fairgrounds are mediocre coffee.

doubleshuffle · 01-03-2020, 04:56 AM

The thunder god goes for a ride on his horse. After a while he shouts, "I'm Thor!" Says the horse: "That'th becauthe you forgot the thaddle, thtupid."

drjd · 01-03-2020, 05:01 AM

BookCat · 01-03-2020, 01:36 PM

What did the Chinese caretaker say when he jumped out of the closet?

Spoiler:

drjd · 01-04-2020, 05:20 AM

Michael and his wife live in Minnesota. One winter morning while listening to WCCO, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Michael's wife goes out and moves her car.

A week later, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." Michael's wife goes out and moves her car again.

The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park......", then the electric power goes out. Michael's wife is very upset and, with a worried look on her face, she says, "Honey, I don' know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?"

With the love and understanding in Michael's voice, like all the men who are married to blondes exhibit, Michael says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.

drjd · 01-05-2020, 08:28 AM

What do you call a game system with a tic tac stuck in it?

Mint Condition!

01-03-2020, 01:36 PM	#10798
BookCat C L J Posts: 2,911 Karma: 21115458 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Birmingham UK Device: Sony e-reader 505, Kindle PW2, Kindle PW3, Kobo Libra2	What did the Chinese caretaker say when he jumped out of the closet? Spoiler: SUPPLIES!!

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01-01-2020, 05:51 AM	#10786
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Wife - Happy New Year. Husband - Promise ???

01-01-2020, 12:48 PM	#10787
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	I used to have problems with finishing projects and tasks. Seeing things through before I start new projects. But now I have figured out how to change that and become much more successful and happy! It is simple, all

01-01-2020, 02:12 PM	#10789
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	Oops! Sorry. Yes, of course I will tell you how I learned how to finish projects and tasks before I start new. I just

01-01-2020, 02:13 PM	#10790
BookCat C L J Posts: 2,911 Karma: 21115458 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Birmingham UK Device: Sony e-reader 505, Kindle PW2, Kindle PW3, Kobo Libra2

01-02-2020, 12:31 AM	#10791
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,310 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	The procrastinators club is making plans to eventually decide when and where to meet. They just have to get round to it.

01-02-2020, 05:36 AM	#10794
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Why isn't there democracy in North Korea? Because everytime they try to pronounce "election" everyone starts to giggle.

01-03-2020, 04:51 AM	#10795
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Fairgrounds are mediocre coffee.

01-03-2020, 04:56 AM	#10796
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	The thunder god goes for a ride on his horse. After a while he shouts, "I'm Thor!" Says the horse: "That'th becauthe you forgot the thaddle, thtupid."

01-03-2020, 05:01 AM	#10797
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta

01-04-2020, 05:20 AM	#10799
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Michael and his wife live in Minnesota. One winter morning while listening to WCCO, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Michael's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later, while they were eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street so the snowplow can get through." Michael's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must park......", then the electric power goes out. Michael's wife is very upset and, with a worried look on her face, she says, "Honey, I don' know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?" With the love and understanding in Michael's voice, like all the men who are married to blondes exhibit, Michael says, "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time.

01-05-2020, 08:28 AM	#10800
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What do you call a game system with a tic tac stuck in it? Mint Condition!