Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 710

issybird · 10-14-2019, 03:27 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dazrin

I'm trying to figure out what they can eat. Beef, lamb, some fish? Anything else?

Horse.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodandd...orse-meat.html

Adoby · 10-14-2019, 03:30 PM

Some humans

doubleshuffle · 10-14-2019, 03:49 PM

A strictly vegan joke:

Why did the baby strawberry cry?

Spoiler:

Dazrin · 10-14-2019, 05:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by issybird

Horse.

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/foodandd...orse-meat.html

I almost included horse as an option. And cats/dogs on the no list.

I ended up trying to limit this to more common food animals though. It's a very short list either way.

drjd · 10-16-2019, 04:22 PM

This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.

drjd · 10-17-2019, 03:51 PM

I recently took up meditation.

It's certainly better than sitting around doing nothing.

drjd · 10-18-2019, 04:39 PM

The mad scientist's faith in the future of autonomous cyber-canines was dogmatic.

Spoiler:

doubleshuffle · 10-18-2019, 05:29 PM

Selling sea-shells by the sea shore -- easier done than said.

drjd · 10-22-2019, 04:37 PM

Height of internet addiction..

At a funeral in church..

A visitor: What’s the WiFi password here?

Priest: respect the dead

Visitor: all small letters?

drjd · 10-24-2019, 04:55 PM

When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

drjd · 10-26-2019, 03:59 PM

I promised my wife I'd remember to bring her a frappucino, but affogato.

drjd · 10-27-2019, 06:46 AM

If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

doubleshuffle · 10-27-2019, 07:27 AM

I'm sure Chuck had a tough battle with the dodo.

drjd · 10-29-2019, 03:58 PM

Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

drjd · 10-31-2019, 04:25 PM

It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub.

It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house.

The difference is staggering.

10-14-2019, 03:49 PM	#10638
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	A strictly vegan joke: Why did the baby strawberry cry? Spoiler: Because his mother was in a jam.

10-18-2019, 04:39 PM	#10642
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The mad scientist's faith in the future of autonomous cyber-canines was dogmatic. Spoiler: Apologies, 5WW!

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10-14-2019, 03:30 PM	#10637
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	Some humans

10-16-2019, 04:22 PM	#10640
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	This Kentucky horse breeder had a filly that won every race in which she was entered. But as she got older she became very temperamental. He soon found that when he raced her in the evening, she would win handily, but when she raced during the day she would come in dead last. He consulted the top veterinarians and horse psychologists to no avail. He finally had to give up because it had become a real night mare.

10-17-2019, 03:51 PM	#10641
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I recently took up meditation. It's certainly better than sitting around doing nothing.

10-18-2019, 05:29 PM	#10643
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	Selling sea-shells by the sea shore -- easier done than said.

10-22-2019, 04:37 PM	#10644
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Height of internet addiction.. At a funeral in church.. A visitor: What’s the WiFi password here? Priest: respect the dead Visitor: all small letters?

10-24-2019, 04:55 PM	#10645
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	When Chuck Norris plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

10-26-2019, 03:59 PM	#10646
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I promised my wife I'd remember to bring her a frappucino, but affogato.

10-27-2019, 06:46 AM	#10647
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	If you want a list of Chuck Norris' enemies, just check the extinct species list.

10-27-2019, 07:27 AM	#10648
doubleshuffle Unicycle Daredevil Posts: 13,944 Karma: 185432100 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: Planet of the Pudding Brains Device: Aura HD (R.I.P. After six years the USB socket died.) tolino shine 3	I'm sure Chuck had a tough battle with the dodo.

10-29-2019, 03:58 PM	#10649
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Aliens DO indeed exist. They just know better than to visit a planet that Chuck Norris is on.

10-31-2019, 04:25 PM	#10650
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	It’s a 5 minute walk from my house to the pub. It’s a 35 minute walk from the pub to my house. The difference is staggering.