Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 7

DNSB · 07-12-2023, 12:47 AM

What do cheese makers dance to on Halloween?
The Muenster mash!

ownedbycats · 07-12-2023, 11:33 AM

What's the difference between a cat and a comma?

One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

DNSB · 07-12-2023, 03:13 PM

I just read that 5,134,129 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

ownedbycats · 07-12-2023, 03:27 PM

One tectonic plate bumped into another.

"Sorry, it's my fault!"

DNSB · 07-12-2023, 11:39 PM

Why does Florida have so many Conservatives and California have so many earthquakes?
California had first choice!

ownedbycats · 07-13-2023, 12:05 PM

People who can't tell the difference between entomology and etymology bug me in ways that I cannot put into words.

DNSB · 07-13-2023, 01:48 PM

I was walking past a farm, and a sign read: “Duck, eggs!”

I thought, “That’s an unnecessary comma.” Then it hit me.

ownedbycats · 07-13-2023, 02:44 PM

A man visited his doctor's office and complained of constipation.

"It appears that you can't poop," the doctor said.

"No shit," the man replied.

DNSB · 07-13-2023, 05:18 PM

My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up. But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.

ownedbycats · 07-13-2023, 05:25 PM

What pronouns do chocolate bars use?

Her/She

DNSB · 07-14-2023, 03:41 PM

What do you call a nocturnal insect that knows just the right word? Le moth juste.

ownedbycats · 07-14-2023, 08:27 PM

Why couldn't the pepper do archery?

It didn't habanero.

DNSB · 07-14-2023, 10:50 PM

My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

ownedbycats · 07-18-2023, 03:54 PM

How do you count bovines?

With a cow-culator.

DNSB · 07-18-2023, 11:56 PM

What happens when you try talking to a cow?

Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.

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07-12-2023, 12:47 AM	#91
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,235 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	What do cheese makers dance to on Halloween? The Muenster mash!

07-12-2023, 11:33 AM	#92
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,363 Karma: 79528341 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	What's the difference between a cat and a comma? One has claws at the end of its paws, and the other is a pause at the end of a clause.

07-12-2023, 03:13 PM	#93
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,235 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I just read that 5,134,129 people got married last year. Not to cause any trouble, but shouldn’t that be an even number?

07-12-2023, 03:27 PM	#94
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,363 Karma: 79528341 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	One tectonic plate bumped into another. "Sorry, it's my fault!"

07-12-2023, 11:39 PM	#95
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,235 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Why does Florida have so many Conservatives and California have so many earthquakes? California had first choice!

07-13-2023, 12:05 PM	#96
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,363 Karma: 79528341 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	People who can't tell the difference between entomology and etymology bug me in ways that I cannot put into words.

07-13-2023, 01:48 PM	#97
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,235 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I was walking past a farm, and a sign read: “Duck, eggs!” I thought, “That’s an unnecessary comma.” Then it hit me.

07-13-2023, 02:44 PM	#98
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,363 Karma: 79528341 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	A man visited his doctor's office and complained of constipation. "It appears that you can't poop," the doctor said. "No shit," the man replied.

07-13-2023, 05:18 PM	#99
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,235 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	My dad always said I loved alphabet soup growing up. But really it was just him putting words in my mouth.

07-13-2023, 05:25 PM	#100
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,363 Karma: 79528341 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	What pronouns do chocolate bars use? Her/She

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07-14-2023, 03:41 PM	#101
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,235 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	What do you call a nocturnal insect that knows just the right word? Le moth juste.

07-14-2023, 08:27 PM	#102
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,363 Karma: 79528341 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Why couldn't the pepper do archery? It didn't habanero.

07-14-2023, 10:50 PM	#103
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,235 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	My grandpa has the heart of the lion and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

07-18-2023, 03:54 PM	#104
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,363 Karma: 79528341 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	How do you count bovines? With a cow-culator.

07-18-2023, 11:56 PM	#105
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 48,235 Karma: 174315444 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	What happens when you try talking to a cow? Everything just goes in one ear and out the udder.