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Old 10-28-2008, 01:18 PM   #91
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I suggest we fall back to returning all the US election coverage.
You dastardly villains you!

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Does anyone have some targetting data (preferably on Jacquard Loom punched cards -- I really must upgrade the targetting system some time)?
Just type in "Ground Zero" (otherwise known as 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, or about 1 mile from my office). The Karma Gods know exactly where it is... all lei lines bend to avoid that spot, and provide a nice bulls-eye besides... and will guarantee your payload will strike true.

Hold on, while I find my earplugs...
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Old 10-28-2008, 01:29 PM   #92
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Just type in "Ground Zero" (otherwise known as 1600 Pennsylvania Ave, or about 1 mile from my office). The Karma Gods know exactly where it is... all lei lines bend to avoid that spot, and provide a nice bulls-eye besides... and will guarantee your payload will strike true.

Hold on, while I find my earplugs...
Strange, that card has a re-direct on it. Let me get some new cards and my hole punch. Actually, to be on the safe side, I'll hit the re-direct site first.

Note that the targetting isn't quite 100% accurate; so I'll have to use MRV custard pies and DVDs. You might want to duck....

Just as soon as I load up the launch counterweight (estimate: many, many hours).
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Old 10-28-2008, 01:34 PM   #93
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Sorry, you guys are hoarding too much land as it is. All right, we'll throw in San Diego... wotta bargain!
Throw in a nearby (to Reno) ski resort and it's a done deal....We'll even evac Colorado....
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Old 10-28-2008, 01:44 PM   #94
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Hmm... so, you're among the "Surrender? Nevuh!" crowd. "Great horny toads! Gotta burn mah boots... they teched Yankee soil!" I can see that.



You can have... um... Reno. That's a pretty happening town...
Nonononononono! Give them Indianapolis! About the same size. And allegedly has a pro football team. They'd like that. Plus we can get rid of Indianapolis.
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Old 10-28-2008, 01:45 PM   #95
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I've found my old jacquard loom punched cards (AAARRRGHH! Sorry. Learnt reaction dating back to school days...). They appear to be set to program the loom in a delicate paisley pattern - will they do?
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Old 10-28-2008, 02:02 PM   #96
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I've found my old jacquard loom punched cards (AAARRRGHH! Sorry. Learnt reaction dating back to school days...). They appear to be set to program the loom in a delicate paisley pattern - will they do?
Paisley? I thought we were aiming at America, not Scotland.

And I am certainly not sending US election material to Scotland. I don't know how many UN and Geneva convention codes it breaks, but I'm sure its enough to get me into enough trouble that I won't be allowed Bread and Butter pudding with Custard for desert.
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Old 10-28-2008, 02:06 PM   #97
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Paisley? I thought we were aiming at America, not Scotland.

And I am certainly not sending US election material to Scotland. I don't know how many UN and Geneva convention codes it breaks, but I'm sure its enough to get me into enough trouble that I won't be allowed Bread and Butter pudding with Custard for desert.
Good point - especially as I had a gorgeous bowl of the stuff last night. However, if you feed them in upside down and back to front, it should send the stuff somewhere else entirely...
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Old 10-28-2008, 03:34 PM   #98
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Good point - especially as I had a gorgeous bowl of the stuff last night. However, if you feed them in upside down and back to front, it should send the stuff somewhere else entirely...
Why would I feed Bread and Butter Pudding with Custard upside down and back to front into may Jacquard Loom Targetting System....
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Old 10-28-2008, 03:36 PM   #99
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Why would I feed Bread and Butter Pudding with Custard upside down and back to front into may Jacquard Loom Targetting System....
Because it's cold now and doesn't reheat too well.

But you're right, back to front is probably overkill.
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Old 10-28-2008, 03:59 PM   #100
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I thought I should have a signature, so here it is.
I didn't have one either, but your conversation struck my attention. So I've remedied the lack of signature.
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Old 10-28-2008, 05:41 PM   #101
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Clotted cream tends to jam up trebuchets.
Add a cup of tea and a scone and you have a cream tea signature!

Right.
Several hundred tonnes of counterweight: check.
Complete US election broadcasts received: check.
Vast numbers of MRV Custard Pies: check.
Jacquard Loom Aiming and Targetting Cards: check.
Fingers Crossed: check.

5... 4... 3... 2... 1... LAUNCH

<watches departing ordinance> Hmmm. Well I suppose that is mostly heading in a roughly westerly direction.

<coughs> If anyone should come across some sticky election broadcasts, could they let me know so I can make some minor aiming adjustments?
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Old 10-28-2008, 05:43 PM   #102
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Clotted cream tends to jam up trebuchets.
It's more of an onager ordinance.
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:28 PM   #103
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I didn't have one either, but your conversation struck my attention. So I've remedied the lack of signature.
I can only reply with emoticons!
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Old 10-28-2008, 06:29 PM   #104
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It's more of an onager ordinance.
We've got a donkey throwing campaign literature roughly westwards???
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Old 10-28-2008, 07:12 PM   #105
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Throw in a nearby (to Reno) ski resort and it's a done deal....We'll even evac Colorado....
Oohhh, yer twistin' my arm... I never had to give up so much... but... deal!

Make sure you send my brother to a nice work-filled town when you chase him outta Pueblo.
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