Feedback on new cover please

[BookCat]

"Lainey, forearms bloody from the cut glass, pried her knife from the dead thug’s hand."

I get confused when she hits him in the balls with the knife. It's not clear that she stabbed him. Or did she?

Having read many Amazon reviews when choosing books, I can imagine lots of readers would be offended by the blunt language, especially as the cover and blurb give no indication of what to expect.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by doubleshuffle

After reading the excerpt I think the drawing is MUCH too nice. The heroine must look much fiercer than that.

Thanks double. I'm glad I posted the excerpt. Back to the drawing board.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by BookCat

From that extract, it's much darker and more violent than I was expecting. I think I expected something more like Tom Sharpe and less of a blood bath.

The cover needs to reflect this.

Agree BookCat. Thanks.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Hitch

Gregg:

I'm with the others. I think how YOU see the book is absolutely screwing with your design, which you're making somewhat clownish as if this is a "screwball comedy" a la the 1940's, with Carole Lombard, while your extract is DEFINITELY more Tarantino. I think using those goofy or silly or comic fonts is utterly misleading. You said you didn't want bad reviews from people who thought that the book was an Actioner, and then were put off by it being comedic, but...IMHO, you're overcompensating and making people think that it's a Lucille Ball Slapstick, when it's more Reservoir Dogs-meets-Rosie O'Donnell.

Just because your heroine shoves a stupid-looking trophy up some guy's nose doesn't make this Lucy in the Factory with Chocolates. At all. Nor does it read very slaptstick-y to me. Like I said earlier, if there's humor in that passage, it's more like when Travolta whacked the guy in the rear seat, accidentally or revived Uma with the Hypodermic to the sternum.

Lastly, having now read this extract, I would ABSOLUTELY use a tagline on the cover, something like "A Black Comedy," or "A Dark Humor," or whatever. I would not leave it as is, no matter what you do with the fonts.

And the clowny/silly fonts gotta go. Those two you used in your last pink-backgrounded iterations are screaming "madcap comedy!," and that's NOT what you've written.

Offered FWIW.

Hitch

Well, I'm glad I found out now. I'll just start over. That first scene is uber violent. The rest of the book is not as violent. It's sillier but still, there's plenty of violence. I'll see what I can come up with. (At least I won't have to mess with these comedy fonts anymore!) Thanks Hitch

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by JSWolf

Where is the big ARF in a diamond on her chest (aka Superman)? The cape isn't working with the current covers. And as to the fonts, I agree with Hitch.

The whole thing's being scrapped, Jon. People say the cover ain't matching the excerpt. (post #79) Starting from scratch.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Catlady

I like this best except there's WAY too much text. The title is long to begin with, and the added lines indicating both the heroine and the series are excessive.

I'm starting over from scratch, Catlady. The cover doesn't match the writing. I don't know if you saw the excerpt (post #79).

[meeera]

Originally Posted by Gregg Bell

That's great, Cin! Only thing is I'll be doing the series for all kinds of animals that they'll be rescuing.

I really don't know that I need it. But I could probably come up with something. International Women's Society. "Society" doesn't work but whatever.

Whatever you use, just Google it first. International Women's Society is in use in a number of places.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

Gregg, couple of quick points:
Your cover in no way, shape, form or fashion matches that excerpt.

Now as to the excerpt, you said the knife was whisked out of her hand then a few paragraphs later she whipped her knife.
The second part makes no sense. How did she whip the knife?

Hey Cin. Yeah, I'm starting over. And she killed the guy by sticking the trophy up his nose and took her knife back. Then she threw it.

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by BookCat

"Lainey, forearms bloody from the cut glass, pried her knife from the dead thug’s hand."

I get confused when she hits him in the balls with the knife. It's not clear that she stabbed him. Or did she?

Having read many Amazon reviews when choosing books, I can imagine lots of readers would be offended by the blunt language, especially as the cover and blurb give no indication of what to expect.

I changed that to something like "she threw the knife and it hit him in the balls."

Having read many Amazon reviews when choosing books, I can imagine lots of readers would be offended by the blunt language

I will put a XXX on the cover! (Like Al Pacino in "Scarface": "Here comes the bad guy. Make way for the bad guy.")

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW37AGZ0Pj0

[Gregg Bell]

Originally Posted by meeera

Whatever you use, just Google it first. International Women's Society is in use in a number of places.

Thanks meeera. Will do.

[BookCat]

"Well, I'm glad I found out now. I'll just start over. That first scene is uber violent. The rest of the book is not as violent. It's sillier but still, there's plenty of violence."

Maybe begin the book in a different place. When you put this on Amazon the kindle "Look Inside" always shows the beginning. If this scene isn't typical of the novel as a whole, perhaps cut it from the beginning and move it somewhere else.

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by Gregg Bell

I changed that to something like "she threw the knife and it hit him in the balls."



I will put a XXX on the cover! (Like Al Pacino in "Scarface": "Here comes the bad guy. Make way for the bad guy.")

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dW37AGZ0Pj0

Mention she got her knife back. Oh and Gregg, there are pocket knives that open easily with one hand. My hubby has sold several to his girls for a penny after giving them the penny.
*His girls are coworkers.

[Catlady]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

Mention she got her knife back. Oh and Gregg, there are pocket knives that open easily with one hand. My hubby has sold several to his girls for a penny after giving them the penny.
*His girls are coworkers.

Switchblades. Illegal, but it doesn't seem the heroine would be concerned about that.

[gmw]

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

Mention she got her knife back. [...]

Isn't that what " pried her knife from the dead thug’s hand" means? Or have I lost track of where you are losing track?

[Cinisajoy]

Originally Posted by gmw

Isn't that what " pried her knife from the dead thug’s hand" means? Or have I lost track of where you are losing track?

Oh I missed that.