02-29-2008, 11:39 PM | #91 |
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Taylor:
I am flattered. Was going to comment on your addition of an avatar elsewhere, and am glad that I waited until I visited this thread. Have fun storming the conference! @ Zelda: I would state that the distinction 'twixt pie and tart, beyond possible language delineations, is that a tart is, not surprising topless, while the chaste, or at least more refined, pie generally covers up it lustrous bounty, revealing its inner beauty only to one willing to 'take the plunge' and cut a slice, rather than brazenly showing everyone her sweet, syrupy filling. Here is a picture of possibly nature's most delectable pie: |
03-01-2008, 04:08 PM | #92 |
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We met for brunch late the next morning. It was a strange meeting. And how appropriate to discover a real sidewalk cafe - one with tables that gently rocked on the uneven cobbles beneath us. Embracing couples strolled by us in delusional trances. An odd hush seemed to muffle even the birds that sang from the cherry trees nearby. But none of it mattered - for I was focused on her. Nothing could have torn her from my thoughts. We shared a pear tart that glistened in the sun and gently steamed from the glass plate. But the smell of the exposed fruit reminded me only of her - her warm flesh, its taste and gentle texture that I had probed for hours the night before. From the sight of the graceful curve of her neck touched by her dark brown hair, I could only invision the contours of her luscious body as she motioned passionately. Her simple movements as she ate. All of these sent me reeling. Mental acuity is a requirement for life and mine was nearing its end. My mind was bursting as I approached sensory overload. My head, engorged with emotions, seemingly expanded to the size of a planet. My cranial diodes nearly fused. Vera, if only I could escape you, I would. But my very being - unnatural as it is - is intimately tied to you. Vera. What will I do?
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03-01-2008, 04:12 PM | #93 |
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OK, Vivaldi, you win.
This is one of the myriad reasons that pie is so super awesome, especially compared to cake. Who would consider cake sexy? N.B. Yes, an attractive naked person of your own particular preferrment covered in cake would indeed be sexy, but that says less about cake than it does about good-looking naked people. |
03-01-2008, 05:42 PM | #94 | |
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zowie, i will never be able to eat a pear tarte without blushing now. i don't know whether i should say you have "ruined" pear tarts (in the victorian (or moral) sense, that is...) but in any case the experience is surely definitively transformed... hopefully enhanced, although it could be embarassing in future if i am offered pear tarte for dessert at a party... |
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03-01-2008, 05:54 PM | #95 |
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Sorry for that. I've always wanted to have a go at writing a little drivel just for the fun of it. I had a friend who used to write romance stories and could knock one off in a few hours. And I figured that with several decades of reading under my belt, how hard could it be? So I gave it a shot. After three hours I had eleven sentences which I then quickly ended with some more nonsense. I think I'll go back to reading and leave the writing (even of drivel) to professionals.
By the way, I absolutely love pear tarts and pear pies. |
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03-01-2008, 06:34 PM | #96 |
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03-01-2008, 07:06 PM | #97 |
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I have acquired a sudden desire to bake a pear tart for my partner ...
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03-01-2008, 07:20 PM | #98 |
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I say we collaborate on a Romance, right here. Hmmm, pies, Vera... I'll start:
Ol' Harv first noticed Vera at the pie eatin’ contest at last year’s county fair. Folks had always told him he had a good eye for livestock, and he nearly choked on his hog call when he caught the glare off her sweaty bosom as she came up outta’ that cherry pie for breath. He’d won the hog call championship three years a-running, but the way she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand, flinging cherry filling and pie crust away into the shimmering summer air, plum took his breath away. Harv’s mind cast back to that day as he and Vera made love on the bathroom floor. The sound of her love-slick backside as it squeegied across the linoleum, put all his hog-calling efforts to shame, he thought, panting. |
03-01-2008, 07:27 PM | #99 | |
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I think I'm going to bust a gut laughing, Planet Head! Good return. |
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03-01-2008, 07:45 PM | #100 |
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Oh my god, make it stop! I can barely breath.
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03-01-2008, 07:54 PM | #101 |
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Wow,Taylor, Wow.
That is reminiscent of the worst of Jimbo, the redneck romance writer from the Questionable Content webcomic. It's tacky, vulgar, and of course incredibly titilating, and so important for the way that you capture the cultural pathos of early 21st century rural subculture. Brav(o/a)! @ Patricia: that is one lucky husband that you have there. Taylor, another thought: Having been at sea a number of times, I can tell you that, uncategorically, vomiting helps. Second, there is no one who claims to never be sick at sea who is not A. a liar or B. A character in a movie or play trying to make a point. |
03-01-2008, 08:01 PM | #102 |
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i can barely see to type. actual, litteral tears of laughter running down my cheeks from reading this.
i'm reminded of Raymond Queneau's "Exercises de style" (Exercises in style). (and by the way, if you have not yet discovered Raymond Queneau and read everything he ever wrote, I don't know what you have been doing with your lives, or how you have survived such bleak and barren existences...) ok, who's next ? |
03-01-2008, 08:05 PM | #103 |
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I can't stop laughing! I don't know you are, Planet Head, or what you do but that was absolutely brilliant. I don't think I'll ever forget it. Cherry pie it is! And please, continue!
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03-01-2008, 08:13 PM | #104 | |
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To the rest, nay, I shan't continue with the Passionate Story of Harv and Vera. Someone else must post the next chapter, "Love in a Deer Stand". Or, maybe we should continue with the love/pie anthology, and leave Harv and Vera on the floor. Dare we call it "The Passion of the Crust"? Last edited by Taylor514ce; 03-01-2008 at 08:19 PM. |
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03-01-2008, 08:31 PM | #105 | |
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so, what is this book you are quoting ? if the rest of it lives up to the citation, i must definitely add it to my list... |
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birth of the cool, farking and lower farking, hugo and lefty, liseuse, ongoing saga, saga, screaming mad adrian, the birth of the cool, the goose, unutterable silliness, vera |
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