Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 682

drjd · 09-14-2018, 06:15 AM

Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

drjd · 09-15-2018, 06:02 AM

Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

drjd · 09-16-2018, 06:55 AM

A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

Adoby · 09-16-2018, 01:55 PM

Does a clean computer indicate that it is in a broken house?

drjd · 09-17-2018, 05:56 AM

A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes.

Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb. You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!'

The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts yelling, 'You stay out of this..I'm talking to that little sh*t on your lap.'

wodin · 09-17-2018, 01:30 PM

Anyone who'd tell a blond joke in the land of the Valkyries gotta be dumber than that blond in the fourth row.

drjd · 09-18-2018, 06:03 AM

A new neighbor arrives. The kids meet.

The local kid: "My mom was born in California! Where was your mom born?"

The other kid answers, "Alaska".

The first one replies, "Gee, then don't worry about it... I'll ask 'er myself!"

issybird · 09-19-2018, 09:53 AM

^^Reminds me of a joke from when I was a kid (i.e., ancient):

If Georgia has a New Jersey, what does Delaware? Idaho. Alaska.

Bookpossum · 09-19-2018, 06:08 PM

The version I heard in equally or even more antique times was:

If Mississippi lent Missouri Carolina’s New Jersey, what would Delaware? Alaska.

I like the addition of Idaho.

wodin · 09-19-2018, 07:13 PM

Or as Art Linkletter used to say "Hawaii, Hawaii, Hawaii. (How are you, how are you, how are you)

badgoodDeb · 09-19-2018, 07:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Or as Art Linkletter used to say "Hawaii, Hawaii, Hawaii. (How are you, how are you, how are you)

Or more archaically, but closer in sound: "How are ye, how are ye, how are ye?"

Fbone · 09-19-2018, 07:31 PM

Anytime I see an autobiography on the shelf I just skip to the about the author section.

wodin · 09-19-2018, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by badgoodDeb

Or more archaically, but closer in sound: "How are ye, how are ye, how are ye?"

Art LOVED Hawaii, he used to travel here often and extoled it's virtues on his radio and TV shows, and he often played an ukulele. His pronunciation was more like "Hawaiya, Hawaiya, Hawaiya".

Of course in those days Hawaii was a bit more rustic.

cromag · 09-19-2018, 10:25 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Or as Art Linkletter used to say "Hawaii, Hawaii, Hawaii. (How are you, how are you, how are you)

Arthur Godfrey, perhaps?

drjd · 09-21-2018, 07:05 AM

There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 06:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 12:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 04:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 03:47 AM

09-14-2018, 06:15 AM	#10216
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the names and addresses of people you don't know.

09-15-2018, 06:02 AM	#10217
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Does a clean house indicate that there is a broken computer in it?

09-16-2018, 06:55 AM	#10218
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A plateau is the highest form of flattery.

09-16-2018, 01:55 PM	#10219
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	Does a clean computer indicate that it is in a broken house?

09-17-2018, 05:56 AM	#10220
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A young ventriloquist is touring Norway and puts on a show in a small fishing town. With his dummy on his knee, he starts going through his usual dumb blonde jokes. Suddenly, a blonde woman in the fourth row stands on her chair and starts shouting, 'I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What makes you think you can stereotype blonde women that way? What does the color of a woman's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's men like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and in the community, and from reaching our full potential as people. Its people like you that make others think that all blondes are dumb. You and your kind continue to perpetuate discrimination against not only blondes but women in general, pathetically all in the name of humor!' The embarrassed ventriloquist begins to apologize, and the blonde interrupts yelling, 'You stay out of this..I'm talking to that little sh*t on your lap.'

09-17-2018, 01:30 PM	#10221
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Anyone who'd tell a blond joke in the land of the Valkyries gotta be dumber than that blond in the fourth row.

09-18-2018, 06:03 AM	#10222
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A new neighbor arrives. The kids meet. The local kid: "My mom was born in California! Where was your mom born?" The other kid answers, "Alaska". The first one replies, "Gee, then don't worry about it... I'll ask 'er myself!"

09-19-2018, 09:53 AM	#10223
issybird o saeclum infacetum Posts: 21,514 Karma: 236076651 Join Date: Oct 2010 Location: New England Device: Mini, H2O, Glo HD, Aura One, PW4, PW5	^^Reminds me of a joke from when I was a kid (i.e., ancient): If Georgia has a New Jersey, what does Delaware? Idaho. Alaska.

09-19-2018, 06:08 PM	#10224
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,146 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	The version I heard in equally or even more antique times was: If Mississippi lent Missouri Carolina’s New Jersey, what would Delaware? Alaska. I like the addition of Idaho.

09-19-2018, 07:13 PM	#10225
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Or as Art Linkletter used to say "Hawaii, Hawaii, Hawaii. (How are you, how are you, how are you)

09-19-2018, 07:31 PM	#10227
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,315 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Anytime I see an autobiography on the shelf I just skip to the about the author section.

09-21-2018, 07:05 AM	#10230
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	There are two kinds of pedestrians: the quick and the dead.