Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 681

drjd · 09-02-2018, 02:48 PM

If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?

cromag · 09-02-2018, 08:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?

Yes. From the cast on my broken leg.

Andy_T · 09-03-2018, 06:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Just remember: when you go to court, you are trusting your fate to twelve people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty!

I guess, for those kind of trials you typically don't "go into court" quite deliberately

drjd · 09-03-2018, 08:40 AM

What did 0 say to 8?

Nice belt.

drjd · 09-04-2018, 06:25 AM

Forgery is why some citizens get notices to appear at a courthouse.

drjd · 09-05-2018, 06:58 AM

Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

cromag · 09-05-2018, 06:02 PM

I saw a girl at a vegan restaurant. She said she knew me. But I'm certain that I've never met herbivore.

drjd · 09-06-2018, 06:37 AM

People are always telling me to keep my nose to the grindstone, but I'm afraid that will cause me to lose face.

drjd · 09-07-2018, 06:46 AM

"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife.

"Well I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went."

"Well you're 75 years old now, Jack, why don't you take my brother Scott along?" suggested his wife.

"But he's 85 and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack.

"But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," his wife pointed out.

The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack.

"Yup," Scott answered.

"Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance.

"I forgot."

drjd · 09-07-2018, 04:36 PM

A Prayer for Grandpa.

Dear God, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on grandpa's computer.

Amen."

drjd · 09-09-2018, 06:59 AM

I've discovered the whole problem with the National Debt. Most of us work 5 days a week and the government spends 7.

drjd · 09-10-2018, 06:53 AM

IMPORTANT – in today’s social media driven world, those of us over 55 need to learn the new CTSFOF’s (Common Text Symbols for Old Farts). Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).

drjd · 09-11-2018, 05:59 AM

Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

drjd · 09-13-2018, 07:39 AM

Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo?

A: A pouch potato.

Fbone · 09-13-2018, 12:41 PM

I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean I guess.

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09-02-2018, 02:48 PM	#10201
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	If you jogged backward . . .would you gain weight?

09-03-2018, 08:40 AM	#10204
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What did 0 say to 8? Nice belt.

09-04-2018, 06:25 AM	#10205
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Forgery is why some citizens get notices to appear at a courthouse.

09-05-2018, 06:58 AM	#10206
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Chuck Norris uses pepper spray to spice up his steaks.

09-05-2018, 06:02 PM	#10207
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,782 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	I saw a girl at a vegan restaurant. She said she knew me. But I'm certain that I've never met herbivore.

09-06-2018, 06:37 AM	#10208
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	People are always telling me to keep my nose to the grindstone, but I'm afraid that will cause me to lose face.

09-07-2018, 06:46 AM	#10209
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	"How was your golf game, dear?" asked Jack's wife. "Well I was hitting pretty well, but my eyesight's gotten so bad I couldn't see where the ball went." "Well you're 75 years old now, Jack, why don't you take my brother Scott along?" suggested his wife. "But he's 85 and doesn't even play golf anymore," protested Jack. "But he's got perfect eyesight. He could watch your ball," his wife pointed out. The next day Jack teed off with Scott looking on. Jack swung, and the ball disappeared down the middle of the fairway. "Do you see it?" asked Jack. "Yup," Scott answered. "Well, where is it?" yelled Jack, peering off into the distance. "I forgot."

09-07-2018, 04:36 PM	#10210
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A Prayer for Grandpa. Dear God, please send clothes for all those poor ladies on grandpa's computer. Amen."

09-09-2018, 06:59 AM	#10211
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	I've discovered the whole problem with the National Debt. Most of us work 5 days a week and the government spends 7.

09-10-2018, 06:53 AM	#10212
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	IMPORTANT – in today’s social media driven world, those of us over 55 need to learn the new CTSFOF’s (Common Text Symbols for Old Farts). Teens have their texting codes (LOL, OMG, TTYL, etc.).

09-11-2018, 05:59 AM	#10213
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Chuck Norris once went skydiving, but promised never to do it again. One Grand Canyon is enough.

09-13-2018, 07:39 AM	#10214
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Q: What do you call a lazy kangaroo? A: A pouch potato.

09-13-2018, 12:41 PM	#10215
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I told him to be himself. That was pretty mean I guess.