Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 677

cromag · 07-26-2018, 03:09 AM

Credit: Someone on the internet.

What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

Spoiler:

drjd · 07-27-2018, 06:49 AM

All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

Adoby · 07-27-2018, 09:51 AM

I know that money doesn't make you happy, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on the bus.

---

It's better to be healthy and rich than sick and poor.

---

Embroidery with proverb:

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Translation:

Spoiler:

drjd · 07-29-2018, 06:57 AM

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

cromag · 07-29-2018, 09:49 PM

The other soldiers call him a hot shot!

wodin · 07-30-2018, 02:44 PM

Now he's working in the ole salt mine.

Adoby · 07-30-2018, 08:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Now he's working in the ole salt mine.

That's what she said.

Adoby · 07-30-2018, 09:04 PM

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drjd · 07-31-2018, 06:25 AM

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed.

The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette,with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says,
"Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

drjd · 08-02-2018, 06:20 AM

A old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says,"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you"...

Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking?

She replies, "It's me...talking to the wine."

PeterT · 08-02-2018, 06:44 PM

The police are on the lookout for a fake, small psychic. They put out a bulletin "Warning.. Short Medium at Large".

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

cromag · 08-02-2018, 09:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterT

The police are on the lookout for a fake, small psychic. They put out a bulletin "Warning.. Short Medium at Large".

Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

Hmmm ... I thought the cops finally busted Madame Marie.

drjd · 08-04-2018, 07:19 AM

Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?

cromag · 08-04-2018, 04:19 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?

Well, fortunately I'll already be in the bathroom!

Adoby · 08-04-2018, 07:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?

I always bring a very large and sturdy kitchen knife when I check behind the shower curtains.

I also like to wear my white hockey goalie mask while checking the bathroom.

07-26-2018, 03:09 AM	#10141
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,761 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	Credit: Someone on the internet. What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo? Spoiler: One is really heavy, and the other is a little lighter.

07-27-2018, 09:51 AM	#10143
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra	I know that money doesn't make you happy, but I'd rather cry in a Jaguar than on the bus. --- It's better to be healthy and rich than sick and poor. --- Embroidery with proverb: Translation: Spoiler: A big dick is weak comfort in a poor family.

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07-27-2018, 06:49 AM	#10142
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	All I ask is a chance to prove that money can't make me happy.

07-29-2018, 06:57 AM	#10144
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

07-29-2018, 09:49 PM	#10145
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,761 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	The other soldiers call him a hot shot!

07-30-2018, 02:44 PM	#10146
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Now he's working in the ole salt mine.

07-30-2018, 09:04 PM	#10148
Adoby Handy Elephant Posts: 1,737 Karma: 26785684 Join Date: Dec 2009 Location: Southern Sweden, far out in the quiet woods Device: Samsung Galaxy Tab S8 Ultra

07-31-2018, 06:25 AM	#10149
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette,with a satisfied smile on its face. The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question!"

08-02-2018, 06:20 AM	#10150
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A old woman was sipping on a glass of wine, while sitting on the patio with her husband, and she says,"I love you so much, I don't know how I could ever live without you"... Her husband asks, "Is that you, or the wine talking? She replies, "It's me...talking to the wine."

08-02-2018, 06:44 PM	#10151
PeterT Grand Sorcerer Posts: 13,698 Karma: 79983758 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Toronto Device: Libra H2O, Libra Colour	The police are on the lookout for a fake, small psychic. They put out a bulletin "Warning.. Short Medium at Large". Sent from my Nexus 7 using Tapatalk

08-04-2018, 07:19 AM	#10153
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Dear paranoid people who check behind shower curtains for murderers; if you find one, what's your plan?