Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 665

orlok · 12-23-2017, 08:39 AM

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(no offense, drjd

)

moyogi2 · 12-23-2017, 09:36 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

He had a photographic memory but it was never fully developed.

My photographic memory ran out of film.

drjd · 12-24-2017, 05:21 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Attachment 160920

(no offense, drjd

)

Splendid!

drjd · 12-24-2017, 05:26 AM

Christopher Columbus was the best deal maker in history. He left not knowing where he was going, and upon arriving, not knowing where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on borrowed money.

drjd · 12-27-2017, 07:46 AM

TEXT MESSAGE*

Hi, Fred, this is Alan next door.
I have a confession to make. I have been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face, but I am at least telling you in a text as I cannot live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can no longer live with the guilt and hope that you will accept my sincerest apology and forgive me. It won’t happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you.
Regards, Alan.

NEIGHBOR’S RESPONSE*

Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, then grabbed his gun and shot his neighbour Alan dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink, and sat down on the sofa. Fred took out his phone where he saw a second message from Alan.

SECOND MESSAGE*

Hi, Fred, this is Alan next door, again.
Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect that you figured it out and noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” That’s today’s technology for you, hey?
Regards, Alan

Purple Lady · 12-28-2017, 02:40 PM

Poor kitty!

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drjd · 12-30-2017, 06:05 AM

The semaphore signals from the ghost ship were hard to follow, due to their flagging spirits.

orlok · 12-30-2017, 03:40 PM

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Bookpossum · 12-30-2017, 04:08 PM

What a rugged individualist!

yvanleterrible · 12-30-2017, 11:55 PM

Pretty rude, isn't he!

I’m jealous. Almost makes me want to go back to paper...

Nooooot!

orlok · 12-31-2017, 06:48 AM

My wife must be the slowest reader ever......I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn't finished it.

Bookpossum · 12-31-2017, 08:40 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

My wife must be the slowest reader ever......I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn't finished it.

Lovely!

Bookpossum · 12-31-2017, 08:43 AM

Slow Reader

orlok · 12-31-2017, 09:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

Slow Reader

(won't let me give you any more karma...)

orlok · 12-31-2017, 12:38 PM

12-31-2017, 08:43 AM	#9973
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,146 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	Slow Reader Attached Images

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12-23-2017, 08:39 AM	#9961
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	(no offense, drjd )

12-24-2017, 05:26 AM	#9964
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Christopher Columbus was the best deal maker in history. He left not knowing where he was going, and upon arriving, not knowing where he was. He returned not knowing where he had been, and did it all on borrowed money.

12-27-2017, 07:46 AM	#9965
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	TEXT MESSAGE* Hi, Fred, this is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I have been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get up the courage to tell you face-to-face, but I am at least telling you in a text as I cannot live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but I know that’s no excuse. The temptation was just too great. I can no longer live with the guilt and hope that you will accept my sincerest apology and forgive me. It won’t happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you. Regards, Alan. NEIGHBOR’S RESPONSE* Fred, feeling so angered and betrayed, then grabbed his gun and shot his neighbour Alan dead. He returned home, poured himself a stiff drink, and sat down on the sofa. Fred took out his phone where he saw a second message from Alan. SECOND MESSAGE* Hi, Fred, this is Alan next door, again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect that you figured it out and noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed “wi-fi” to “wife.” That’s today’s technology for you, hey? Regards, Alan

12-28-2017, 02:40 PM	#9966
Purple Lady Grand Sorcerer Posts: 5,698 Karma: 16542228 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Pennsylvania Device: Huawei MediaPad M5, LG V30, Boyue T80S, Nexus 7 LTE, K3 3G, Fire HD8	Poor kitty!

12-30-2017, 06:05 AM	#9967
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The semaphore signals from the ghost ship were hard to follow, due to their flagging spirits.

12-30-2017, 03:40 PM	#9968
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"

12-30-2017, 04:08 PM	#9969
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,146 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	What a rugged individualist!

12-30-2017, 11:55 PM	#9970
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	Pretty rude, isn't he! I’m jealous. Almost makes me want to go back to paper... Nooooot!

12-31-2017, 06:48 AM	#9971
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	My wife must be the slowest reader ever......I bought her a Kindle last Christmas and she still hasn't finished it.

12-31-2017, 12:38 PM	#9975
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"