Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 661

drjd · 10-24-2017, 06:34 AM

A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?"

"Yes, it is," came the reply.

"Thank goodness! Could you call 9-1-1 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone."

crich70 · 10-24-2017, 10:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?"

"Yes, it is," came the reply.

"Thank goodness! Could you call 9-1-1 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone."

Sounds like a sticky situation if I've ever heard of one.

yvanleterrible · 10-25-2017, 08:27 PM

The guy must have had only one finger and one hand?

badgoodDeb · 10-25-2017, 08:44 PM

No, just "only one phone". Which was perpetually spirting out "4"s and he couldn't type anything else in between, cuz the 4's were forever.....

cromag · 10-25-2017, 10:11 PM

Obviously he was cursed by Yoda. "May the fours be with you!"

Edited to add: I wonder if it was his fourfinger?

wodin · 10-26-2017, 03:15 PM

Four goodness sake people, get over it (fourever)!

timebug · 10-27-2017, 06:36 AM

In an effort to improve his confidence and
self knowledge, a young man was told to
keep saying 'me' because it was all about
him, and 'I can' to prove he could do it.
Then he was told to combine the two, in
multiples. So he wrote 'Me X I can'.
It worried him, because he had never before
realised that he might be Mexican!

drjd · 10-27-2017, 07:08 AM

The insomniac stayed up late making a long list of to doze.

drjd · 10-28-2017, 06:56 AM

Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde.
Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things."

My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

drjd · 10-29-2017, 05:53 AM

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.

One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."

The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

PoP · 10-29-2017, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty.

Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom.

"Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning.
Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light.

One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something."

The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

Excellent. I should have seen it coming (but I didn't)!

cromag · 10-30-2017, 09:00 PM

My daughter iis in grad school in the Midwest. We usually talk on Skype on Sunday evenings. This one is from our Skype call last Sunday.

We were talking about how to form the plural of "octopus."* Since it's from the Greek, the etymologically correct form is "octopodes." The words most often used are "octopi" and "octopuses." We were exploring all the ways we could be even more wrong about making the plural of octopus and one of the terms we came up with was "octopoodles." Which prompted:

Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a poodle?

A: You get your funding revoked and an ethics review.

* I seem to remember a similar exchange here on Mobileread, but without the excursion to the ridiculous.

Kumabjorn · 11-01-2017, 01:01 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by cromag

We were talking about how to form the plural of "octopus."* Since it's from the Greek, the etymologically correct form is "octopodes." The words most often used are "octopi" and "octopuses."

Not to derail the thread, but doesn't octopus means "eight legs"? So the word is already in plural?

PoP · 11-01-2017, 07:21 AM

And since a byte means "eight bits" does it mean bytes is doubly plural?

Andy_T · 11-02-2017, 06:44 AM

Indeed! The correct plural forms for "octopus" would be "16 legs", "24 legs" and so on ... ;-)

Similar Threads
Thread	Thread Starter	Forum	Replies	Last Post
Add from the Mobile Read Library?	danwdoo	Calibre	8	12-03-2014 07:03 PM
Good Day Eh!! :-)	Gedvondur	Introduce Yourself	12	07-22-2010 01:16 AM
Classic Is there a way to lighten the background?	rlsamson	Barnes & Noble NOOK	3	06-30-2010 05:56 PM
Read-in-Microsoft-Reader 1.1.3 add-in released	Alexander Turcic	Reading and Management	2	02-20-2006 04:47 AM

10-24-2017, 06:34 AM	#9901
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	A telephone rang. "Hello! Is your phone number 444-4444?" "Yes, it is," came the reply. "Thank goodness! Could you call 9-1-1 for me? I super-glued my finger to the phone."

10-25-2017, 08:27 PM	#9903
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	The guy must have had only one finger and one hand?

10-25-2017, 08:44 PM	#9904
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,584 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	No, just "only one phone". Which was perpetually spirting out "4"s and he couldn't type anything else in between, cuz the 4's were forever.....

10-25-2017, 10:11 PM	#9905
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 27,039 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	Obviously he was cursed by Yoda. "May the fours be with you!" Edited to add: I wonder if it was his fourfinger?

10-26-2017, 03:15 PM	#9906
wodin Illiterate Posts: 10,279 Karma: 37848716 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: The Sandwich Isles Device: Samsung Galaxy S10+, Microsoft Surface Pro	Four goodness sake people, get over it (fourever)!

10-27-2017, 06:36 AM	#9907
timebug Ancient Sage Posts: 14,585 Karma: 15493448 Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Derby U.K. Device: Kobo Reader	In an effort to improve his confidence and self knowledge, a young man was told to keep saying 'me' because it was all about him, and 'I can' to prove he could do it. Then he was told to combine the two, in multiples. So he wrote 'Me X I can'. It worried him, because he had never before realised that he might be Mexican!

10-27-2017, 07:08 AM	#9908
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	The insomniac stayed up late making a long list of to doze.

10-28-2017, 06:56 AM	#9909
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Married 25 years, I took a look at my wife one day and said, "Honey, 25 years ago, we had a cheap apartment, a cheap car, slept on a sofa bed and watched a 10 inch black and white TV, but I got to sleep every night with a hot 25 year old blonde. Now, we have a nice house, nice car, big bed and plasma screen TV, but I'm sleeping with a 50 year old woman. It seems to me that you are not holding up your side of things." My wife is a very reasonable woman. She told me to go out and find a hot 25 year old blonde, and she would make sure that I would once again be living in a cheap apartment, driving a cheap car, sleeping on a sofa bed.

10-29-2017, 05:53 AM	#9910
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	An angel appears at a faculty meeting and tells the dean that in return for his unselfish and exemplary behavior, the Lord will reward him with his choice of infinite wealth, wisdom, or beauty. Without hesitating, the dean selects infinite wisdom. "Done!" says the angel, and disappears in a cloud of smoke and a bolt of lightning. Now, all heads turn toward the dean, who sits surrounded by a faint halo of light. One of his colleagues whispers, "Say something." The dean sighs and says, "I should have taken the money."

10-30-2017, 09:00 PM	#9912
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 27,039 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	My daughter iis in grad school in the Midwest. We usually talk on Skype on Sunday evenings. This one is from our Skype call last Sunday. We were talking about how to form the plural of "octopus."* Since it's from the Greek, the etymologically correct form is "octopodes." The words most often used are "octopi" and "octopuses." We were exploring all the ways we could be even more wrong about making the plural of octopus and one of the terms we came up with was "octopoodles." Which prompted: Q: What do you get when you cross an octopus with a poodle? A: You get your funding revoked and an ethics review. * I seem to remember a similar exchange here on Mobileread, but without the excursion to the ridiculous.

11-01-2017, 07:21 AM	#9914
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,021 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	And since a byte means "eight bits" does it mean bytes is doubly plural?

11-02-2017, 06:44 AM	#9915
Andy_T Evangelist Posts: 431 Karma: 5121676 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Hannover, Germany Device: iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, Kindle KB, NT, Fire, PW II	Indeed! The correct plural forms for "octopus" would be "16 legs", "24 legs" and so on ... ;-)