Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 654

WT Sharpe · 07-08-2017, 04:14 PM

Punk for the next generation.

Fbone · 07-09-2017, 03:04 AM

When math teachers retire, how do they cope with the aftermath?

drjd · 07-09-2017, 05:03 AM

What did the cannibal say to the explorer?
''Nice to meat you''!

Fbone · 07-10-2017, 01:25 AM

Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights did make an airplane.

drjd · 07-10-2017, 07:36 AM

Irresponsible financiers must be discredited.

Fbone · 07-11-2017, 02:51 AM

When I was young, I just wanted a BMW. Now that I'm older, I don't need the W.

drjd · 07-11-2017, 06:09 AM

As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?"

"There's a big fire across the street", the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

Fbone · 07-11-2017, 03:48 PM

I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.

drjd · 07-12-2017, 06:19 AM

After reading the morning headlines about the recent stock market downturn, a high-powered executive trying to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter, get my broker!"

The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's clear voice saying, "Yes, Sir, stock or pawn?"

Fbone · 07-12-2017, 05:15 PM

Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate is salad.

timebug · 07-13-2017, 05:20 AM

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes painted on the sides?

So that when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

Andy_T · 07-13-2017, 06:07 AM

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

Andy_T · 07-13-2017, 06:08 AM

What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass?

Spoiler:

Andy_T · 07-13-2017, 06:10 AM

Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint.
The phone rings and he jumps up shouting "Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dog!"

badgoodDeb · 07-13-2017, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by timebug

Why do Swedish warships have bar codes painted on the sides?

So that when they return to port they can Scandinavian.

Love this one!

07-08-2017, 04:14 PM	#9796
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	Punk for the next generation. Attached Thumbnails

07-13-2017, 05:20 AM	#9806
timebug Ancient Sage Posts: 14,585 Karma: 15493448 Join Date: Oct 2015 Location: Derby U.K. Device: Kobo Reader	Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day Why do Swedish warships have bar codes painted on the sides? So that when they return to port they can Scandinavian. Last edited by WT Sharpe; 07-13-2017 at 11:03 PM.

07-13-2017, 06:08 AM	#9808
Andy_T Evangelist Posts: 431 Karma: 5121676 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Hannover, Germany Device: iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, Kindle KB, NT, Fire, PW II	What do you get when you put root beer in a square glass? Spoiler: -- Beer.

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07-09-2017, 03:04 AM	#9797
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When math teachers retire, how do they cope with the aftermath?

07-09-2017, 05:03 AM	#9798
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	What did the cannibal say to the explorer? ''Nice to meat you''!

07-10-2017, 01:25 AM	#9799
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Two wrongs don’t make a right, but two Wrights did make an airplane.

07-10-2017, 07:36 AM	#9800
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Irresponsible financiers must be discredited.

07-11-2017, 02:51 AM	#9801
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When I was young, I just wanted a BMW. Now that I'm older, I don't need the W.

07-11-2017, 06:09 AM	#9802
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	As the lawyer slowly came out of the anesthesia after surgery, he said, "Why are all the blinds drawn, doctor?" "There's a big fire across the street", the doctor replied. "We didn't want you to think the operation was a failure."

07-11-2017, 03:48 PM	#9803
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I don't want buns of steel. I want buns of cinnamon.

07-12-2017, 06:19 AM	#9804
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	After reading the morning headlines about the recent stock market downturn, a high-powered executive trying to impress a client in his office, flipped on his intercom switch and barked to his secretary, "Miss Hunter, get my broker!" The client was impressed until he heard the secretary's clear voice saying, "Yes, Sir, stock or pawn?"

07-12-2017, 05:15 PM	#9805
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Chocolate comes from cocoa, which is a tree. That makes it a plant. Therefore, chocolate is salad.

07-13-2017, 06:07 AM	#9807
Andy_T Evangelist Posts: 431 Karma: 5121676 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Hannover, Germany Device: iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, Kindle KB, NT, Fire, PW II	What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

07-13-2017, 06:10 AM	#9809
Andy_T Evangelist Posts: 431 Karma: 5121676 Join Date: Oct 2011 Location: Hannover, Germany Device: iPod touch, iPhone, iPad, Kindle KB, NT, Fire, PW II	Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint. The phone rings and he jumps up shouting "Oh crap, I forgot to feed the dog!"