Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 650

cromag · 06-03-2017, 03:15 AM

A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician went out to do some taret practice. The physicist calculates the trajectory to the target using ballistic equations, but assumes no air resistance, so his shot falls 5 meters short. The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, and his shot lands 5 meters long. The statistician yells "We got it!"

PoP · 06-03-2017, 04:00 PM

The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony meant ...which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.

Spoiler:

drjd · 06-04-2017, 06:53 AM

"I stand corrected," said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

piperclassique · 06-04-2017, 07:55 AM

Ok, Pop, l will bite. Please explain.

Gardenman · 06-04-2017, 12:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoP

The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony meant ...which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.

I do not get it

pdurrant · 06-04-2017, 01:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piperclassique

Ok, Pop, l will bite. Please explain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gardenman

I do not get it

If something is made of iron, like many bus stops, one might say it was irony (made of or resembling iron). Like woody.

piperclassique · 06-04-2017, 04:49 PM

But a bus stop is made of steel......

Bilbo1967 · 06-04-2017, 04:56 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by piperclassique

Ok, Pop, l will bite. Please explain.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pdurrant

If something is made of iron, like many bus stops, one might say it was irony (made of or resembling iron). Like woody.

Paul, that's just cruel

drjd · 06-05-2017, 06:53 AM

So Moses is up on Mount Sinai and he says to God, "God, do I have a pounding headache!"

And God says, "Here, take these two tablets."

fum · 06-05-2017, 07:28 AM

He. But the joke is only for the old ones. Today tablet= iPad.

Fbone · 06-05-2017, 08:55 PM

I poured root beer in a square glass.

Now I just have beer.

drjd · 06-06-2017, 07:09 AM

They were looking down into the depths of the Grand Canyon. "Do you know," asked the guide, "that it took millions and millions of years for this great abyss to be carved out?"

"Well, I'll be darned," exclaimed the traveler. "I never knew this was a government job."

Fbone · 06-06-2017, 09:31 PM

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

A carrot.

drjd · 06-07-2017, 09:14 AM

Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on a man's peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, he was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped.

One warm April day, the man was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give his dog a drink from the garden hose.

A neighbor watched the scene with amusement. "Frank," he finally commented, "you're the only man I know who walks his tree and waters his dog!"

WT Sharpe · 06-07-2017, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by drjd

Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on a man's peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, he was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped.

One warm April day, the man was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give his dog a drink from the garden hose.

A neighbor watched the scene with amusement. "Frank," he finally commented, "you're the only man I know who walks his tree and waters his dog!"

Good one!

06-03-2017, 04:00 PM	#9737
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,021 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony meant ...which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop. Spoiler: The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony meant ...which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop. Spoiler: The other day my friend was telling me that I didn't understand what irony meant ...which is ironic, because we were standing at a bus stop.

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06-03-2017, 03:15 AM	#9736
cromag Surfin the alpha waves ~~ Posts: 26,827 Karma: 459765791 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: New Jersey Device: Jetbook Lite & Mini, Nook STR, Kobo, Hanvon N516, Kindle 2, Androids	A physicist, an engineer, and a statistician went out to do some taret practice. The physicist calculates the trajectory to the target using ballistic equations, but assumes no air resistance, so his shot falls 5 meters short. The engineer adds a fudge factor for air resistance, and his shot lands 5 meters long. The statistician yells "We got it!"

06-04-2017, 06:53 AM	#9738
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	"I stand corrected," said the man in the orthopedic shoes.

06-04-2017, 07:55 AM	#9739
piperclassique A garbling groftpot Posts: 996 Karma: 9234667 Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: France Device: Oasis, Voyage, Kobo mini, Samsung tablet, phones, whatever.	Ok, Pop, l will bite. Please explain.

06-04-2017, 04:49 PM	#9742
piperclassique A garbling groftpot Posts: 996 Karma: 9234667 Join Date: Feb 2012 Location: France Device: Oasis, Voyage, Kobo mini, Samsung tablet, phones, whatever.	But a bus stop is made of steel......

06-05-2017, 06:53 AM	#9744
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	So Moses is up on Mount Sinai and he says to God, "God, do I have a pounding headache!" And God says, "Here, take these two tablets."

06-05-2017, 07:28 AM	#9745
fum Zealot Posts: 120 Karma: 728454 Join Date: Aug 2009 Location: Århus, Denmark Device: PWII	He. But the joke is only for the old ones. Today tablet= iPad.

06-05-2017, 08:55 PM	#9746
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I poured root beer in a square glass. Now I just have beer.

06-06-2017, 07:09 AM	#9747
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	They were looking down into the depths of the Grand Canyon. "Do you know," asked the guide, "that it took millions and millions of years for this great abyss to be carved out?" "Well, I'll be darned," exclaimed the traveler. "I never knew this was a government job."

06-06-2017, 09:31 PM	#9748
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot.

06-07-2017, 09:14 AM	#9749
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	Unexpected cold snaps had destroyed the buds on a man's peach tree for two years in a row. This spring, he was ready. He replanted the sapling in a large box, mounted it on wheels, and put the tree in the garage whenever the temperature dropped. One warm April day, the man was wheeling the tree out into the yard, and he stopped to give his dog a drink from the garden hose. A neighbor watched the scene with amusement. "Frank," he finally commented, "you're the only man I know who walks his tree and waters his dog!"