Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 638

Fbone · 02-12-2017, 07:38 PM

The bomb didn't want to go off, so it refused.

drjd · 02-13-2017, 03:49 AM

My New Year's resolution is Full HD.

Fbone · 02-13-2017, 08:12 PM

The majority of people find bananas a peeling.

drjd · 02-14-2017, 04:10 AM

No flights to France will be delayed. It's Gaul on time's Day!

Fbone · 02-14-2017, 07:34 PM

For a fungi to grow you must give it as mushroom as possible.

wodin · 02-14-2017, 08:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

For a fungi to grow you must give it as mushroom as possible.

And keep it in the dark and feed it bull s#!^.

drjd · 02-15-2017, 04:10 AM

In an effort to smooth things over and resolve their differences one gladiator said to the other, 'Let's bury the hatchet and go clubbing'.

Fbone · 02-15-2017, 07:40 PM

No matter how hard you push the envelope it will still be stationery.

badgoodDeb · 02-15-2017, 08:31 PM

They were all out of the extra virgin olive oil... so I got this bottle of "Really gets around" olive oil. [ArgaBarga, on another forum]

drjd · 02-16-2017, 04:49 AM

There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer.

When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!"

He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

Fbone · 02-17-2017, 03:42 AM

Met this girl on a dating site and I don't know, we just clicked.

orlok · 02-17-2017, 08:34 AM

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Bookpossum · 02-17-2017, 05:03 PM

Love this one but can't give you any karma at the moment - sorry!

DMcCunney · 02-17-2017, 06:15 PM

An Art Director, a Copywriter, and an Account Executive are burning the midnight oil at an ad agency, working on a tough campaign for a demanding client. They take a break for coffee and start bemoaning their fates as ad men.

There is a flash of light and a puff of smoke in a dark corner of the office, which materializes into a bejeweled, turbaned genie. The genie bows and says "I am the Genie of Advertising. I have heard your plaints, and will grant each of you your dearest wish. You have but to name it."

The Art Director says "I've always wanted to have a studio in the Left Bank in Paris. I could can this commercial crap and paint! I could turn out masterpieces that would make me rich and famous, and my work would be taught in art schools alongside Rembrandt and Picasso a century from now!" The genie says "Your wish is granted!" and <poof!>, the Art Director disappears.

The Copywriter says "I've always wanted a house on the beach on a south sea island, where I could write, surrounded by beautiful, bare breasted native girls. I could finally turn out the great novels I have in me, produce international bestsellers, become rich and famous, and have my work taught in English classes along with Faulkner and Hemingway!" "Your wish is granted!" says the genie, and <poof!>, the Copywriter disappears.

The Account Executive is silent. The genie says "You have a wish to be granted too. Surely there is something you want?" "Yes!" says the Account Executive. "I want those two a**holes back here, now!"
______
Dennis

Fbone · 02-18-2017, 02:26 AM

I once did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

02-17-2017, 06:15 PM	#9569
DMcCunney New York Editor Posts: 6,384 Karma: 16540415 Join Date: Aug 2007 Device: PalmTX, Pocket eDGe, Alcatel Fierce 4, RCA Viking Pro 10, Nexus 7	The Genie of Advertising An Art Director, a Copywriter, and an Account Executive are burning the midnight oil at an ad agency, working on a tough campaign for a demanding client. They take a break for coffee and start bemoaning their fates as ad men. There is a flash of light and a puff of smoke in a dark corner of the office, which materializes into a bejeweled, turbaned genie. The genie bows and says "I am the Genie of Advertising. I have heard your plaints, and will grant each of you your dearest wish. You have but to name it." The Art Director says "I've always wanted to have a studio in the Left Bank in Paris. I could can this commercial crap and paint! I could turn out masterpieces that would make me rich and famous, and my work would be taught in art schools alongside Rembrandt and Picasso a century from now!" The genie says "Your wish is granted!" and <poof!>, the Art Director disappears. The Copywriter says "I've always wanted a house on the beach on a south sea island, where I could write, surrounded by beautiful, bare breasted native girls. I could finally turn out the great novels I have in me, produce international bestsellers, become rich and famous, and have my work taught in English classes along with Faulkner and Hemingway!" "Your wish is granted!" says the genie, and <poof!>, the Copywriter disappears. The Account Executive is silent. The genie says "You have a wish to be granted too. Surely there is something you want?" "Yes!" says the Account Executive. "I want those two a*holes back here, now!" ______ Dennis*

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02-12-2017, 07:38 PM	#9556
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The bomb didn't want to go off, so it refused.

02-13-2017, 03:49 AM	#9557
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	My New Year's resolution is Full HD.

02-13-2017, 08:12 PM	#9558
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The majority of people find bananas a peeling.

02-14-2017, 04:10 AM	#9559
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	No flights to France will be delayed. It's Gaul on time's Day!

02-14-2017, 07:34 PM	#9560
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	For a fungi to grow you must give it as mushroom as possible.

02-15-2017, 04:10 AM	#9562
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	In an effort to smooth things over and resolve their differences one gladiator said to the other, 'Let's bury the hatchet and go clubbing'.

02-15-2017, 07:40 PM	#9563
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	No matter how hard you push the envelope it will still be stationery.

02-15-2017, 08:31 PM	#9564
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,574 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	They were all out of the extra virgin olive oil... so I got this bottle of "Really gets around" olive oil. [ArgaBarga, on another forum]

02-16-2017, 04:49 AM	#9565
drjd The Couch Potato Posts: 34,509 Karma: 230999999 Join Date: Aug 2015 Device: Kobo Glo, Kobo Touch, Archos 9, Onyx Boox C67ML Carta	There was once a young man who, in his youth, professed his desire to become a great writer. When asked to define great, he said, "I want to write stuff that the whole world will read, stuff that people will react to on a truly emotional level, stuff that will make them scream, cry, howl in pain and anger!" He now works for Microsoft writing error messages.

02-17-2017, 03:42 AM	#9566
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Met this girl on a dating site and I don't know, we just clicked.

02-17-2017, 08:34 AM	#9567
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"

02-17-2017, 05:03 PM	#9568
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,146 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	Love this one but can't give you any karma at the moment - sorry!

02-18-2017, 02:26 AM	#9570
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,320 Karma: 103930826 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I once did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.