MobileRead's Win an iPad - E-Reader Survey

[SneakySnake]

Originally Posted by recluse

My pyjamas are black and have AC/DC: Highway To Hell printed in red.

an Ozzian band.

[GeoffC]

shaking with laughter, tears streaming down my cheeks,,,,,,,,please Alex the iPad will be an anticlimax after the way this thread has morphed .....

[Sweetpea]

Which is probably why the winner still isn't known

[GeoffC]

yep - probably too engrossed in this story to remember to keep checking their PM ....

[Sweetpea]

No, Alex wants to keep this thread alive!

[GeoffC]

not only alive, but kicking .....

[WT Sharpe]

The temptation was too great. SRSLY!

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by Wetdogeared

Thanks dsvick, it looks great. I believe you need to add the title and author in the metadata, which is very easy to do with the Tools - Meta Editor in Sigil.

Ahh, you're right - I noticed that when I previewed it in Calibre - then promptly forgot about it.

[dsvick]

Originally Posted by recluse

I don't wear blue flannelette pyjamas with kitties on them.

Or anything else for that matter.

Originally Posted by recluse

I do not get naked.

But wait, you said ... oh never mind

[poohbear_nc]

HIGH NOON


THE CHASE SCENE BEGINS

[WAIT A MINUTE -- DIDN'T WE JUST DO THAT?]


ANOTHER CHASE SCENE BEGINS


ALONG WITH A POIGNANT ROMANTIC INTERLUDE!
[Keep hankies ready!]

Into this dark, dispirited, gloomy atmosphere of despair and despondence, the tinkling sound of piano keys echoed forlornly. A lone spotlight gently showcased dreams girl on the empty player piano bench, slowly trailing her limp hands across the yellowed ivories. This wrenching note of pathos had a surprisingly bracing effect upon the unmanned clientele left in the Llounge Saloon. Judge Nate looked at Sheriff HarryT who looked over, errr, down at BOb, who looked for the gray doggie. As one man, they rose to their feet (paws) and headed for the door.

"Hold the fort Doc," boomed the Judge, "we're going after Alex and the town's iPad .... and our pride! Leave a candle burning in the window for us! If we live through this no-doubt hideous ordeal, we'll be back. And we'll be might thirsty too!"

"C'mon doggie! Lead the way! I hear tell those Oz-Indians have donuts on their reservation! Chocolate covered and cream filled donuts. That's where we'll most likely find our fugitive!"

This doughty band of suddenly enlivened, but heavily drunk, men swung into, out of, over, and finally back onto their saddles. The posse trotted out into the waning night, following the lonely bark of a hungry dog on the scent of donuts!


Meanwhile, back at the saloon, Doc began piling the chairs, at least the ones not yet broken by all the brawling, onto the tables, and running a broom over the filthy floor. He glanced up in surprise as dreams girl began another lonely trill on the piano.

"Hey gal, why didn't you ride out with your Amazonian girl friends?"

"Well," breathed the lovely damsel, "after that greenish guy tried to get ziggy with me that night, I cut up my leather bustier and used it to make the macrame plant hangers for the bar."

"Oh yeah," answered Doc, gazing at a nearby hanger sporting a nipple ring, "now I remember. Them hangers are shure purty! And you can open beer bottles on some of them!"

"Sure is quiet here, now that everyone's either gone home or done ridden out after that varmint Alex. How bout's a little song darling?"

"Oh Doc, there's no music! I can't play this thing, and the ape's gone too!"

"Wait a sec, doll, Lawyer Tom left his ukulele behind to make room for all those law books. How's about I plink out a tune while you sing?" Doc sat next to dreams girl on the piano bench, and she gently allowed her head to rest on his manly shoulder, and began to softly sing 'night and day, you are the one...."

The moonlight softly filtered through the filthy windows onto this pair, who were lighting up the saloon with a glow of their own. The plinking and singing gradually fell in volume as their faces turned to one another and the violins began to play........

Gentle reader - let's give the lovebirds some well-earned privacy as their new-found infatuation grows to fruition! [What's Out in Your Garden Now ...]
[And no, I don't know who's playing the violin - probably Miss Florence playing her stereo loud while knocking back a few bottles of Beaujolais while staring at her portrait of Alex's tush!]


Our camera draws back slowly from the glowing Llounge Saloon into the gradually lightening sky of dawn, and we, as omniscient readers, can see the entire desert and our players:

1. The Cross-the-Road Chicken Ranch trying to recover from the loss of Alex, the iPad, and their cook beppe. What is Mare doing now in the stables? Where has GeoffC gone? How many new posts has Joyous_Cowpat sent to the Oz-Injuns?

2. The Oz-Injun camp where Alex struggles to defend his purity from the determined onslaughts of SS, and KC tries to unlock the iPad's secrets. And beppe is put to work cooking something that's NOT chicken! And Mountsymags and the ape are muttering in the Spirit Lodge!

3. Seasoning's posse is thundering and creaking (damn that leather in sunlight) across the desert, following all those hoofmarks conveniently left by Mare. Will the reclusive one maintain his precarious hold on KK's anatomy? Will KK boot him off her horse, keeping the kitten of course. Will Seasoning feel safe enough to camp with these 5 vixens - without benefit of chaperonage?

4. Judge Nate's posse trickling into the desert, trying to keep the gray doggie in view in the hellish landscape of sand, sand, and more sand. Oh, and sun too!

5. And ... look! On the horizon! That new cloud of dust! Listen! Hear the clanking and clattering, and the occasional electronic buzz? Could it be? Yes! Dave's Robotic Rangers have received the SOS from Joyous_Cowpat's telegraph, finally found the message buried in numerous pictures of dubious taste, and are riding to the rescue!

(Of course this is To Be Continued! Even I don't know how it's all going to end yet! Nobody does!)

(Will the befuddled and exhausted author be able to remember all these plot strands?)
(Who the fark invented all these plot strands?)
(Or will they all collide in ONE GIANT BATTLE? Nah, that's no fun.)
(Sigh, you must all wait until .... the next installment!)


P.P.S. And don't you dare forget about Lawyer Tom on his little burro moejose, trotting bravely through the desert in pursuit of any paying client.

[recluse]

Pooh, I'm gonna give you 5 minutes headstart.
Then I'm gonna hunt you down and turn you inside out.

I would never harm dreams. She is a lady.
I am a gentleman.
You are roadkill.

[poohbear_nc]

Originally Posted by recluse

Pooh, I'm gonna give you 5 minutes headstart.
Then I'm gonna hunt you down and turn you inside out.

I would never harm dreams. She is a lady.
I am a gentleman.
You are roadkill.

I didn't specify which green guy! It might have been a Mod! It probably was a Mod [plot hint]
Besides, no kittens were injured!

[rebarnmom]

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

I didn't specify which green guy! It might have been a Mod! It probably was a Mod [plot hint]
Besides, no kittens were injured!

Standard HSA clause. "No kittens were harmed in the making of this saga."

[phenomshel]

Originally Posted by rebarnmom

Standard HSA clause. "No kittens were harmed in the making of this saga."

I think this one needs an addition: No kittens or iPads were harmed in the making of this saga.

[recluse]

Just for clarification on an earlier comment:

I don't think you are a shameless hussy, Shel.
You are friends with rebarnmom and badgoodDeb.
That's the only character reference I need.

Pooh, it's time the Mods found a new color scheme.
And they can't have purple.