Books We Lie About Having Read - Page 6

Joykins · 05-16-2012, 09:19 AM

I had 8 years of Christian school and ~ 25 years of "bible" type churches. I feel fairly confident that at one point or another I've read all or nearly all of the Bible, without having actually kept track. They even made me memorize portions of it.

Jozawun · 05-16-2012, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joykins

I had 8 years of Christian school and ~ 25 years of "bible" type churches. I feel fairly confident that at one point or another I've read all or nearly all of the Bible, without having actually kept track. They even made me memorize portions of it.

Me too.
Istill remember "Once upon a time...." and ".....they lived happily ever after."

FlorenceArt · 05-17-2012, 01:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joykins

I had 8 years of Christian school and ~ 25 years of "bible" type churches. I feel fairly confident that at one point or another I've read all or nearly all of the Bible, without having actually kept track. They even made me memorize portions of it.

Did you also read the part where Moses orders the massacre of women and children? Numbers 31:17.

ProfCrash · 05-17-2012, 01:35 PM

Nah you never read that stuff or have it read in Church. At least, not at any Church I attended.

miguel1626 · 05-17-2012, 01:45 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by JOZAWUN

Me too.
Istill remember "Once upon a time...." and ".....they lived happily ever after."

I remember talking animals, a talking bush and Strong Bad killing a thousand men with the jaw of an ass and then putting torches on the tails of hundreds of foxes. That's about as far as my knowledge of the bible goes

And regarding the original topic, yeah, I've lied about reading assigned books during high school. Other than that, I really don't feel the need

Joykins · 05-17-2012, 01:50 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlorenceArt

Did you also read the part where Moses orders the massacre of women and children? Numbers 31:17.

Sure. I had to take classes like "Old Testament Survey" (from the perspective of my school, it was JUST FINE to kill all those people because God commanded it; also they were worshiping false Gods and ready to corrupt the Israelites. So, you know: OK

). And one year we memorized something called "walk through the Old Testament" where we did little hand motions to symbolize the various kings, captivities, exiles, etc. of the Jews. I'm still trying to forget it.

ilovejedd · 05-17-2012, 02:00 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miguel1626

I remember talking animals, a talking bush and Strong Bad killing a thousand men with the jaw of an ass and then putting torches on the tails of hundreds of foxes. That's about as far as my knowledge of the bible goes

There's also incest, bestiality, kings putting soldiers on the frontlines so the king can do the dirty with the soldier's wife and a host of other stuff.

ProfCrash · 05-17-2012, 02:01 PM

It is a fun read

FlorenceArt · 05-17-2012, 02:07 PM

It's fascinating. Talking animals, from what I understand there's only two: the infamous serpent, and a talking mule.

jkeene · 05-17-2012, 02:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by caleb72

In high school
...

Far from the Madding Crowd by Thomas Hardy (read maybe half)

The first I would have liked to read but didn't for some reason I can't recall. The second one I stopped because it was so bloody boring. One day I may convince myself to try Hardy again, but I'm not particularly eager at this point.

...

That one almost broke my tradition of always reading the assigned summer reading. But I finished it, showed up at school, and on the first day the teacher asked how many actually read that one, apologized for it being chosen (out of his hands), and moved on to other material.

I liked him immediately.

Fbone · 05-17-2012, 03:55 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlorenceArt

Did you also read the part where Moses orders the massacre of women and children? Numbers 31:17.

Yes, the Midianites were hostile to the Israelites. The women eventually "induced" thousands of Israelite men to become involved in sexual immorality and idolatry in connection with pagan god Baal. God told Moses to seek vengeance on the five Midian kings. The cities were destroyed, spoils taken, and men, women and children killed except for the virgins.
23,000 Israelite men also were killed for their idolatry.

FlorenceArt · 05-17-2012, 04:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Joykins

Sure. I had to take classes like "Old Testament Survey" (from the perspective of my school, it was JUST FINE to kill all those people because God commanded it; also they were worshiping false Gods and ready to corrupt the Israelites. So, you know: OK

). And one year we memorized something called "walk through the Old Testament" where we did little hand motions to symbolize the various kings, captivities, exiles, etc. of the Jews. I'm still trying to forget it.

Wow. That's a bit scary.

miguel1626 · 05-17-2012, 04:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by FlorenceArt

It's fascinating. Talking animals, from what I understand there's only two: the infamous serpent, and a talking mule.

I didn't even remember the mule

Anyway, there's also magic fruit

Jozawun · 05-17-2012, 07:29 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by miguel1626

I didn't even remember the mule

Anyway, there's also magic fruit

I remember Francis the Talking Mule.
As well as Mr. Ed.

Anabana · 05-17-2012, 10:11 PM

I found the perfect solution to all those should-have-reads or 'want to say I've read'. It's called ShrinkLits - "Seventy of the world's towering classics cut down to size." By Maurice Sagoff

So in rhyme (and 111 pages), from Lysistrata to Catcher in the Rye, Moll Flanders to Portnoy's Complaint, Beowulf to Lolita, etc.. Here's The Pilgrim's Progress, John Bunyan:

Christian slogs
Weary miles.
God's apostle,
Orbi, urbi.

Through bogs,
Over stiles.
A colossal
Bunyan Derby.

So can I now say I've read them all?

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05-16-2012, 09:19 AM	#76
Joykins Wizard Posts: 1,609 Karma: 9211856 Join Date: Jan 2010 Device: kindle Oasis 2018, kindle 4 NT, kindle PW2, iPhone, iPad mini	I had 8 years of Christian school and ~ 25 years of "bible" type churches. I feel fairly confident that at one point or another I've read all or nearly all of the Bible, without having actually kept track. They even made me memorize portions of it.

05-17-2012, 01:35 PM	#79
ProfCrash Tea Enthusiast Posts: 8,554 Karma: 75384937 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Somewhere in the USA Device: Kindle1, Kindle DX Graphite, K3 3G, IPad 3, PW2	Nah you never read that stuff or have it read in Church. At least, not at any Church I attended.

05-17-2012, 02:01 PM	#83
ProfCrash Tea Enthusiast Posts: 8,554 Karma: 75384937 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Somewhere in the USA Device: Kindle1, Kindle DX Graphite, K3 3G, IPad 3, PW2	It is a fun read

05-17-2012, 02:07 PM	#84
FlorenceArt High Priestess Posts: 5,761 Karma: 5042529 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Montreuil sous bois, France Device: iPad Pro 9.7, iPhone 6 Plus	It's fascinating. Talking animals, from what I understand there's only two: the infamous serpent, and a talking mule.

05-17-2012, 10:11 PM	#90
Anabana Zealot Posts: 109 Karma: 2735606 Join Date: Feb 2011 Location: San Diego, CA Device: Kindle Paperwhite, Kindle Fire 7" & 10"; 11"(?)-12" Lenovo laptop	I found the perfect solution to all those should-have-reads or 'want to say I've read'. It's called ShrinkLits - "Seventy of the world's towering classics cut down to size." By Maurice Sagoff So in rhyme (and 111 pages), from Lysistrata to Catcher in the Rye, Moll Flanders to Portnoy's Complaint, Beowulf to Lolita, etc.. Here's The Pilgrim's Progress, John Bunyan: Christian slogs Weary miles. God's apostle, Orbi, urbi. Through bogs, Over stiles. A colossal Bunyan Derby. So can I now say I've read them all?

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