Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[orlok]

Originally Posted by PoP

Thank you all for your helpful explanations. I was looking for something along ^ but couldn't find any other than «windows sometimes sucks» ...Oh, did I say suck?

Originally Posted by DMcCunney

Many folks omit the "sometimes" from your description.
______
Dennis

You know, despite the problems I am having, I don't dislike W10. I think it's a NVIDIA issue anyway, and there's lots to like about W10.

Now the joke:

Teacher: "If I gave you 2 cats and another 2 cats and another 2, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Seven."

Teacher: "No, listen carefully... If I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Seven."

Teacher: "Let me put it to you differently. If I gave you two apples, and another two apples and another two, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Six."

Teacher: "Good. Now if I gave you two cats, and another two cats and another two, how many would you have?"

Johnny: "Seven!"

Teacher: "Johnny, where in the heck do you get seven from?!"

Johnny: "Because I've already got a cat."

[Bookpossum]

Love it!

[alansplace]

[drjd]

There was a man who couldn't stand his wife's cat. So, one day, he decided to get rid of him by dumping him a long way away from the house.

He put the cat in the car and drove about 20 blocks away, then he left him at the park. But when he got home, the cat was there as if nothing had happened.

The next day he decided to take the cat somewhere further away, about 50 blocks. He put him out of the car and drove home. And again, the cat was there waiting for him. 'This is impossible,' said the man to himself. 'tomorrow I'll make sure he can't come back!'

The next day he puts the cat in the car and he drives around, taking turn after turn - right, left, right, right and so on. Eventually, after about an hour of driving, he finally lets the cat out and drives home.

A few hours later, the phone rings at his house and his wife answers it. It's the husband, and he asks: "Is the cat there?" "Why, yes." says the wife, "he's been here quite a while, where are you?"

"Put that bastard on the phone, I'm lost and I need directions."

[PoP]

I was tired receiving too many messages from a mailing list. I unsubscribed. Now I have a message every day reminding me I'm no longer on the list.

[alansplace]

[drjd]

A 72 year old man had one hobby - he loved to fish.

He was sitting in his boat the other day when he heard a voice say, 'Pick me up.'

he looked around and couldn't see anyone. He thought he was dreaming when he heard the voice say again, ''Pick me up. '

He looked in the water and there, floating on the top, was a frog.

The man said, 'Are you talking to me?'

The frog said, 'Yes, I'm talking to you. Pick me up, then kiss me; and I'll turn into the most beautiful woman you have ever seen. I'll make sure that all your friends are envious and jealous, because I will be your bride!'

The man looked at the frog for a short time, reached over, picked it up carefully and placed it in his shirt pocket.

The frog said, 'What, are you nuts? Didn't you hear what I said?'

I said, 'Kiss me, and I will be your beautiful bride.'

He opened his pocket, looked at the frog and said, 'Nah. At my age, I'd rather have a talking frog.'

[PoP]

^
Hahaha. Funny. Nicely structured: by the time you read the punch -- and thanks to all the fishing story helping it -- you have forgotten the man was 72!

I'll come back after I spread some Karma.

[alansplace]

Three Iphone engineers and three Android engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference. The Android engineers notice that the Iphone engineers bought only one ticket between them.

The Android engineers ask the Iphone engineers how they plan on getting to the conference. "Watch and learn," one of the Iphone engineers tells them. As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Iphone engineers rush from their seats and all squeeze into one restroom. When the conductor comes through the car he knocks on the restroom door and says "ticket please!" The door opens a crack and the one ticket is handed to the conductor. The Android engineers are impressed, and decide that's what they will do on the trip back.

Then on the return trip, the Android engineers notice that the Iphone engineers haven't bought any tickets. "How do you plan on getting home without any tickets?" they ask. "Watch and learn," one of the Iphone engineers tells them.

As soon as the train leaves the station, the three Android engineers hurry for the restroom. A few moments later, one of the Iphone engineers gets up from his seat, knocks on the restroom door and says, "ticket please!"

[drjd]

Gives me an obvious advice while buying a new phone.

[alansplace]

[drjd]

Airborne approximately thirty minutes on an outbound evening flight from Glasgow, the lead flight attendant for the cabin crew nervously made the following painful announcement..: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm so very sorry but it appears that there has been a terrible mix-up one minute prior to takeoff, by our airport catering service... I don't know how this has happened but we have 103 passengers on board and, unfortunately, only 40 dinner meals... I truly apologies for this mistake and inconvenience."

When passengers' muttering had died down, she continued.. , "Anyone who is kind enough to give up their meal so that someone else can eat will receive free, unlimited drinks for the duration of our 5 hour flight."

Her next announcement came 90 minutes later... "If anyone would like to change their minds, we still have 40 dinners available."

[alansplace]

I was in a couple’s home trying to fix their Internet connection. 
The husband called out to his wife 
in the other room for the computer password. “Start with a capital S, then 123,” she shouted back.

We tried S123 several times, but 
it didn’t work. So we called the wife in. As she input the password, she muttered, “I really don’t know what’s so difficult about typing Start123.”

[steven522]

Originally Posted by alansplace

Three Iphone engineers are about to board a train to a computer conference.

Three software developers about to board a bus to a computer conference are told there will be a delay because the bus doesn't seem to be working correctly.

The three put their heads together for a moment and then suggest that all the passengers close their bus windows and then all the passengers open their bus windows. They then ask that the driver try to get the bus going again.

The bus driver looks confused but tries again. The bus still does not work.

"Wait," asks the driver, "where do you guys work?"

"Microsoft," the developers reply.

[rootandroid]

LOL...

Try to watch this guys..

https://www.facebook.com/SaroOk7/vid...6144145457559/