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Old 03-04-2010, 06:25 PM   #856
zelda_pinwheel
zeldinha zippy zeldissima
zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.zelda_pinwheel ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LCF View Post
Not new, but I laugh every time when I read this Joke:
i've seen it before but i almost fell out of my chair re-reading those. brilliant ! thank you !
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Old 03-04-2010, 07:05 PM   #857
Katti's Cat
Wizard
Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.Katti's Cat can program the VCR without an owner's manual.
 
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Pilot jokes as good as the real transcirpts from IT call centres
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Old 03-04-2010, 08:31 PM   #858
yvanleterrible
Reborn Paper User
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LCF View Post
Not new, but I laugh every time when I read this Joke:
Awwww... my gut...

That engineer sound like my ol' boss. I miss the guy....

... took away hammer from midget...
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Old 03-06-2010, 09:52 PM   #859
Nate the great
Sir Penguin of Edinburgh
Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Tennis.
Tennis who?
Tennis Five plus Five.
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Old 03-06-2010, 09:52 PM   #860
Nate the great
Sir Penguin of Edinburgh
Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Ears.
Ears who?
Ears some more knock knock jokes for you!
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Old 03-06-2010, 09:53 PM   #861
Nate the great
Sir Penguin of Edinburgh
Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Rhino!
Rhino Who?
Rhino every knock-knock joke there is!
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Old 03-06-2010, 09:53 PM   #862
Nate the great
Sir Penguin of Edinburgh
Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
CIA!
CIA Who?
WE ASK THE QUESTIONS!
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Old 03-06-2010, 09:54 PM   #863
Nate the great
Sir Penguin of Edinburgh
Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Posts: 12,375
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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Winnie Thup!
Winnie Thup Who?
.and Tigger, too!
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Old 03-06-2010, 09:57 PM   #864
Nate the great
Sir Penguin of Edinburgh
Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Nate the great ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Maida.
Maida who?
Maida force be with you!
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Old 03-06-2010, 10:01 PM   #865
Javed
Grand Sorcerer
Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.Javed ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate the great View Post
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
CIA!
CIA Who?
WE ASK THE QUESTIONS!
I like this one best so far.
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Old 03-07-2010, 10:08 AM   #866
pshrynk
Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah!
pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.pshrynk ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Knock knock!

Who's there?

Fox News.

Fox News who?

That's not funny!
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Old 03-07-2010, 10:16 AM   #867
poohbear_nc
Bah! Humbug!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Nate the great View Post
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Winnie Thup!
Winnie Thup Who?
.and Tigger, too!
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Old 03-07-2010, 11:24 AM   #868
TGS
Country Member
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What's orange and sounds like a parrot?








A carrot.
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Old 03-07-2010, 11:39 AM   #869
kennyc
The Dank Side of the Moon
kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.kennyc ought to be getting tired of karma fortunes by now.
 
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Two cannibals are eating a clown.
One turns to the other and says,
"Does this taste funny to you?"
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Old 03-08-2010, 04:18 PM   #870
LCF
Wizard
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This cite comes straight from the "You ask - we answer" section of an australian tourist information website:

__________________________________________________
Q: Does it ever get windy in Australia? I have never seen it
rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around
watching them die.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to see kangaroos in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I want to walk from Perth to Sydney - can I follow the
railroad tracks(Sweden)?
A: Sure, it's only three thousand miles, take lots of water.
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Australia? Can you send
me a list of them in Brisbane, Cairns, Townsville and Hervey Bay? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in
Australia? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Aus-tra-lia is that big island in the middle of the Pacific which
does not ... oh forget it.
Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Kings Cross.
Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Which direction is North in Australia? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you
get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.
_________________________________________________
Q: Can I bring cutlery into Australia? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger-man-y,
which is .... oh forget it.
Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir plays every Tuesday night in Kings
Cross, straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can I wear high heels in Australia? ( UK)
A: You are a British politician, right?
__________________________________________________
Q: Are there supermarkets in Sydney and is milk available all
year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
__________________________________________________

Q: Please send a list of all doctors in Australia who can
dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from.
All Australian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely
handled and make good pets.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Australia, but I
forget its name. It's a kind of bear and lives in trees. (USA)
A: It's called a Drop Bear. They are so called because they
drop out of Gum trees and eat the brains of anyone walking underneath them.
You can scare them off by spraying yourself with human urine
before you go out walking.
__________________________________________________
Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth.
Can you tell me where I can sell it in Australia? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
__________________________________________________
Q: Can you tell me the regions in Tasmania where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay night clubs.
__________________________________________________
Q: Do you celebrate Christmas in Australia? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
__________________________________________________
Q: I was in Australia in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the
Girl I dated while I was staying in Kings Cross*. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.
__________________________________________________
Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you'll have to learn it first.
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