Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 557

Stitchawl · 01-07-2015, 10:01 AM

A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?"
The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun."

"And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man.
"It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body" said the father.

The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet?
His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert."

"Tell me," added the boy.
"Yes, my son?"
"Why are you living in Minnesota and still wearing all this shit?"

Stitchawl

HomeInMyShoes · 01-07-2015, 10:59 AM

Haha.

PeterT · 01-07-2015, 06:30 PM

AARP Eye Chart

PeterT · 01-08-2015, 12:21 AM

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...

He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.

After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.

In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it's only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in Karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy...Do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"

The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm going to have to explain it five times..."

PoP · 01-08-2015, 06:55 AM

^ @PeterT

steven522 · 01-08-2015, 09:55 AM

@PoP
@PeterT

PoP · 01-08-2015, 01:46 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by steven522

@PoP
@PeterT

Wow. You upped the ante.

Glorfindel · 01-08-2015, 09:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterT

An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake...
He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels.
After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent.
In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it's only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:

The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'.
I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in Karate.
The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter.
The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy...Do you still want to tell that blonde joke?"
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm going to have to explain it five times..."

PoP · 01-10-2015, 06:26 AM

A lady went to a French restaurant and ordered their famous soup 𝓐 𝓵𝓪 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓮.

It was so delicious that she asked the Chef to come to her table to explain what was that special ingredient he added to the receipe giving the soup such a distinctive taste.

"The letter «𝓪» Madam" replied the Chef.

(not a shitty response for an alphabet soup, if you ask me)

PoP · 01-10-2015, 07:04 AM

To remember the good old days, Grandpa and Grandma decided to visit the school they were going to when they were young.

After seeing with satisfaction their old desks, the blackboard, and the playing ground --which surprisingly seemed smaller--, they went back home.

On their way, a truck turning a corner dropped a bag on the sidewalk.

Grandma picked it up and found tens of thousands of dollars in it! She immediately claimed "What is lost, is mine" and against Grandpa's advice hid it in the attic.

Sure enough, a week later the police showed up investigating people on the street. They questioned Grandma and she said she had not seen anything suspicious. But as they asked Grandpa, full of remorse, he said "Grandma is lying, she bagged the money and hid it in the attic".

Ah! Interesting said the first policeman to his colleague whe need to question this couple further.

"Hey, why don't you tell us in detail what happened" said the officer.

"It all started as we were coming back from school" replied Grandpa.

Grandma still had a smile on her face as the policemen rapidly left.

japinder · 01-10-2015, 11:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoP

To remember the good old days, Grandpa and Grandma decided to visit the school they were going to when they were young.

After seeing with satisfaction their old desks, the blackboard, and the playing ground --which surprisingly seemed smaller--, they went back home.

On their way, a truck turning a corner dropped a bag on the sidewalk.

Grandma picked it up and found tens of thousands of dollars in it! She immediately claimed "What is lost, is mine" and against Grandpa's advice hid it in the attic.

Sure enough, a week later the police showed up investigating people on the street. They questioned Grandma and she said she had not seen anything suspicious. But as they asked Grandpa, full of remorse, he said "Grandma is lying, she bagged the money and hid it in the attic".

Ah! Interesting said the first policeman to his colleague whe need to question this couple further.

"Hey, why don't you tell us in detail what happened" said the officer.

"It all started as we were coming back from school" replied Grandpa.

Grandma still had a smile on her face as the policemen rapidly left.

This one's a repeat too...

The last one ended with the cops saying something like: "We're outta here..."

Brings a chuckle every time though...

:thumsup:

Jp

WT Sharpe · 01-15-2015, 12:50 AM

I do so love these cartoons Grammarly keeps finding.

Bookpossum · 01-15-2015, 02:30 AM

Lovely Jewish joke just told to us by an acquaintance back from a visit to Israel, where he stocked up on jokes.

The Jewish telegram: "Start worrying. Details follow."

Lin2412 · 01-15-2015, 04:55 AM

A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" One little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill."

Hahahaha

crich70 · 01-15-2015, 11:06 AM

A man buys a horse from a farmer. The farmer warns him that the horse 'doesn't look so good' but the man insists upon buying it anyway. He's heading home on his new horse when the animal runs right into a ditch and throws him off. Getting up he examines the animal and discovers that it is blind. Making his way back to the farmer's property he ddemands to know why the farmer didn't tell him the animal was blind. "Well,"says the farmer, "I told you he didn't look so good."

01-07-2015, 06:30 PM	#8343
PeterT Grand Sorcerer Posts: 13,568 Karma: 79436716 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Toronto Device: Libra H2O, Libra Colour	AARP Eye Chart AARP Eye Chart Last edited by PeterT; 01-07-2015 at 06:34 PM.

01-08-2015, 12:21 AM	#8344
PeterT Grand Sorcerer Posts: 13,568 Karma: 79436716 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Toronto Device: Libra H2O, Libra Colour	An old blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake... He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?" The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it's only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things: The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. The bouncer is a blonde girl with a 'Billy-Club'. I'm a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blond woman with a black belt in Karate. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy...Do you still want to tell that blonde joke?" The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters, 'No...not if I'm going to have to explain it five times..."

01-08-2015, 09:55 AM	#8346
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	@PoP @PeterT Attached Thumbnails

01-15-2015, 12:50 AM	#8352
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	I do so love these cartoons Grammarly keeps finding. Attached Thumbnails

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01-07-2015, 10:01 AM	#8341
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	A young Arab asks his father, "What is that weird hat you are wearing?" The father said, "Why, it's a 'chechia' because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun." "And what is this type of clothing that you are wearing?" asked the young man. "It's a 'djbellah' because in the desert it is very hot and it protects the body" said the father. The son asked, "And what about those ugly shoes on your feet? His father replied, "These are 'babouches", which keep us from burning our feet in the desert." "Tell me," added the boy. "Yes, my son?" "Why are you living in Minnesota and still wearing all this shit?" Stitchawl

01-07-2015, 10:59 AM	#8342
HomeInMyShoes Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,226 Karma: 67780237 Join Date: Jul 2011 Device: none	Haha.

01-08-2015, 06:55 AM	#8345
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	^ @PeterT

01-10-2015, 06:26 AM	#8349
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	A lady went to a French restaurant and ordered their famous soup 𝓐 𝓵𝓪 𝓒𝓪𝓻𝓸𝓽𝓽𝓮. It was so delicious that she asked the Chef to come to her table to explain what was that special ingredient he added to the receipe giving the soup such a distinctive taste. "The letter «𝓪» Madam" replied the Chef. (not a shitty response for an alphabet soup, if you ask me)

01-10-2015, 07:04 AM	#8350
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	To remember the good old days, Grandpa and Grandma decided to visit the school they were going to when they were young. After seeing with satisfaction their old desks, the blackboard, and the playing ground --which surprisingly seemed smaller--, they went back home. On their way, a truck turning a corner dropped a bag on the sidewalk. Grandma picked it up and found tens of thousands of dollars in it! She immediately claimed "What is lost, is mine" and against Grandpa's advice hid it in the attic. Sure enough, a week later the police showed up investigating people on the street. They questioned Grandma and she said she had not seen anything suspicious. But as they asked Grandpa, full of remorse, he said "Grandma is lying, she bagged the money and hid it in the attic". Ah! Interesting said the first policeman to his colleague whe need to question this couple further. "Hey, why don't you tell us in detail what happened" said the officer. "It all started as we were coming back from school" replied Grandpa. Grandma still had a smile on her face as the policemen rapidly left.

01-15-2015, 02:30 AM	#8353
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,146 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	Lovely Jewish joke just told to us by an acquaintance back from a visit to Israel, where he stocked up on jokes. The Jewish telegram: "Start worrying. Details follow."

01-15-2015, 04:55 AM	#8354
Lin2412 Grand Sorceress Posts: 456 Karma: 12931465 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Florida Device: Kindle	A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her 5 and 6 year-olds. After explaining the commandment "Honor thy Father and thy mother," she asked, "Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?" One little boy answered, "Thou shall not kill." Hahahaha

01-15-2015, 11:06 AM	#8355
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,310 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	A man buys a horse from a farmer. The farmer warns him that the horse 'doesn't look so good' but the man insists upon buying it anyway. He's heading home on his new horse when the animal runs right into a ditch and throws him off. Getting up he examines the animal and discovers that it is blind. Making his way back to the farmer's property he ddemands to know why the farmer didn't tell him the animal was blind. "Well,"says the farmer, "I told you he didn't look so good."