Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 551

PoP · 12-10-2014, 06:39 AM

When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper' em. When old people crap in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will!

PieMan597 · 12-10-2014, 03:26 PM

The best:

Fbone · 12-10-2014, 08:11 PM

We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.

EZPuzzler · 12-10-2014, 09:58 PM

An experiment.

How can we know that dog is man's best friend?

Try this simple test. Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, then drive around for an hour. When you open it up, see which one of them is glad to see you.

crich70 · 12-10-2014, 10:42 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterT

The fun we used to have in High School using APL on an IBM Selectric (and then eventually a micro-computer, the IBM 5100)

And yes... I am aware of K

I had fun on an IBM Selectric too, though the fun was of a different sort and in college. I learned how to repair the things. They're practically indestructible with everything running off of one motor and a set of cams and gears. Of course if one thing gets out of place 3 or more functions are also thrown out of alignment.

Soldim · 12-11-2014, 06:06 AM

Q. What's a priest and a pint of Guinness got in common?

A. A black coat, white collar and you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!

Fbone · 12-11-2014, 10:09 PM

“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.

Lin2412 · 12-12-2014, 10:48 PM

[Image violates guidelines for size - MODERATOR]

crich70 · 12-13-2014, 09:29 AM

Two robots leave the factory and go looking for dates. One decides to chat up a mail box and the other one chats up a fire alarm. Later they meet to compare notes. "How did your date go?" the 1st robot asks his friend. "Not very well"the 2nd replies,"She just sat there eating things that humans shoved into her mouth. How did your date go?" "Even worse," the other robot says. "She just stood there and the moment you touched her she would scream her head off at you."

Fbone · 12-16-2014, 03:09 AM

Two words: I hate math.

PoP · 12-16-2014, 06:42 AM

^
+1

orlok · 12-16-2014, 06:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoP

^
+1

Don't you mean -1?

PoP · 12-16-2014, 07:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Don't you mean -1?

It depends which side (of the equation) you take. I'd rather stay on the optimistic side when praising a joke.

pilotbob · 12-16-2014, 02:04 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

Two words: I hate math.

Two Words: Too and To.

Fbone · 12-16-2014, 06:14 PM

I try to accomplish something before the microwave reaches zero.

12-10-2014, 06:39 AM	#8251
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	Branding When babies crap in their pants, people are still gonna Luv'em, Hug'em and Pamper' em. When old people crap in their pants, it "Depends" on who's in the will!

12-10-2014, 03:26 PM	#8252
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	The best: Attached Thumbnails

12-12-2014, 10:48 PM	#8258
Lin2412 Grand Sorceress Posts: 456 Karma: 12931465 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Florida Device: Kindle	[Image violates guidelines for size - MODERATOR] Last edited by Dr. Drib; 01-07-2015 at 10:13 AM.

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12-10-2014, 08:11 PM	#8253
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,298 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	We never knew he was a drunk… until he showed up to work sober.

12-10-2014, 09:58 PM	#8254
EZPuzzler Connoisseur Posts: 55 Karma: 475060 Join Date: May 2009 Device: Nexus 7, Sony T2	An experiment. How can we know that dog is man's best friend? Try this simple test. Lock your dog and your wife in the trunk of your car, then drive around for an hour. When you open it up, see which one of them is glad to see you.

12-11-2014, 06:06 AM	#8256
Soldim Not so important Posts: 1,064 Karma: 10181343 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Zurich Device: Sony PRS-505, Kindle 4, iPad, Kobo Glo 4	Q. What's a priest and a pint of Guinness got in common? A. A black coat, white collar and you've got to watch your arse if you get a dodgy one!

12-11-2014, 10:09 PM	#8257
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,298 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	“I’m sorry” and “I apologize” mean the same thing… except when you’re at a funeral.

12-13-2014, 09:29 AM	#8259
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,310 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	Two robots leave the factory and go looking for dates. One decides to chat up a mail box and the other one chats up a fire alarm. Later they meet to compare notes. "How did your date go?" the 1st robot asks his friend. "Not very well"the 2nd replies,"She just sat there eating things that humans shoved into her mouth. How did your date go?" "Even worse," the other robot says. "She just stood there and the moment you touched her she would scream her head off at you."

12-16-2014, 03:09 AM	#8260
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,298 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Two words: I hate math.

12-16-2014, 06:42 AM	#8261
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	^ +1

12-16-2014, 06:14 PM	#8265
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,298 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	I try to accomplish something before the microwave reaches zero.