Silliness Terrible Jokes - Page 55

DNSB · 02-16-2026, 12:37 PM

Last Christmas my mum bought me a t-shirt saying, "I'm a nudist."
I haven't worn it yet.

Fbone · Yesterday, 01:45 AM

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

DNSB · Yesterday, 02:48 AM

I was walking past a farm and a sign said:

"Duck, Eggs"

I thought: "That's an unnecessary comma" - and then they hit me.

ownedbycats · Yesterday, 07:05 PM

Helium walks into a saloon.

Barkeeper: Piss off, we don't serve noble gases here!
Helium: (doesn't react)

DNSB · Today, 01:49 AM

Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep.

Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend.

"Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

Watson replied, "I see millions of stars."

"What does that tell you?"

Watson pondered for a minute.

"Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets."

"Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo."

"Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three."

"Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant."

"Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow."

"What does it tell you, Holmes?"

Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "It tells me, my dear Watson, that someone stole our tent!"

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02-16-2026, 12:37 PM	#811
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 50,422 Karma: 178402650 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Last Christmas my mum bought me a t-shirt saying, "I'm a nudist." I haven't worn it yet.

Yesterday, 01:45 AM	#812
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,345 Karma: 105529930 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Yesterday, 02:48 AM	#813
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 50,422 Karma: 178402650 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	I was walking past a farm and a sign said: "Duck, Eggs" I thought: "That's an unnecessary comma" - and then they hit me.

Yesterday, 07:05 PM	#814
ownedbycats Custom User Title Posts: 11,569 Karma: 81412473 Join Date: Oct 2018 Location: Canada Device: Kobo Libra H2O, formerly Aura HD	Helium walks into a saloon. Barkeeper: Piss off, we don't serve noble gases here! Helium: (doesn't react)

Today, 01:49 AM	#815
DNSB Bibliophagist Posts: 50,422 Karma: 178402650 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Vancouver Device: Kobo Sage, Libra Colour, Lenovo M8 FHD, Paperwhite 4, Tolino epos	Sherlock Holmes and Dr. Watson decide to go on a camping trip. After dinner and a bottle of wine, they lay down for the night, and go to sleep. Some hours later, Holmes awoke and nudged his faithful friend. "Watson, look up at the sky and tell me what you see." Watson replied, "I see millions of stars." "What does that tell you?" Watson pondered for a minute. "Astronomically, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets." "Astrologically, I observe that Saturn is in Leo." "Horologically, I deduce that the time is approximately a quarter past three." "Theologically, I can see that God is all powerful and that we are small and insignificant." "Meteorologically, I suspect that we will have a beautiful day tomorrow." "What does it tell you, Holmes?" Holmes was silent for a minute, then spoke: "It tells me, my dear Watson, that someone stole our tent!"

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