Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 549

crich70 · 12-02-2014, 04:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

'How come Miss Universe is only won by people from Earth?' - Ross Noble

Because the travel expenses are out of this world!

PoP · 12-03-2014, 02:24 PM

No matter what her husband did in bed, a woman never achieved an orgasm. Since, by Jewish law, a wife is entitled to sexual satisfaction, they decided to consult their Rabbi.

The Rabbi listened to their story, stroked his beard, and made the following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm."

They went home and followed the Rabbi's advice. They hired a handsome young man and had him wave a towel over them as they made love. It didn't help -- the wife was still unsatisfied.

Perplexed, they went back to the Rabbi.

"Okay," he said to the husband, "Try reversing it. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them."

Once again, they followed the Rabbi's advice. They went home and hired the same strapping young man. The young man got into bed with the wife and the husband waved the towel. The young man went about his task with great enthusiasm and soon the wife had an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting, screaming orgasm. The husband smiled, looked at the young man and said, triumphantly,

"See that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!"

P. - S. Feels like all jokes have already been told: searching the thread, I found orlok's original version but being 2½ years later I thought this variant, could still bring a renewed smile.

Soldim · 12-04-2014, 05:06 AM

"Dr Dr, I think I'm a moth"

"I'm a dentist, sir"

"I know, but your light was on"

steven522 · 12-04-2014, 09:18 AM

Why we call them Boobs:

Spoiler:

PeterT · 12-04-2014, 10:06 AM

For those days where nothing goes right --> http://make-everything-ok.com/

Glorfindel · 12-04-2014, 10:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PeterT

For those days where nothing goes right --> http://make-everything-ok.com/

It worked!

wodin · 12-04-2014, 12:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Glorfindel

It worked!

Didn't work, all I got was a donut of death! Even <http://make-everything-ok.com/> is broke!

Fbone · 12-04-2014, 07:09 PM

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

badgoodDeb · 12-04-2014, 07:12 PM

But not for very long.

PieMan597 · 12-04-2014, 07:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

LIke this?

Glorfindel · 12-04-2014, 08:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wodin

Didn't work, all I got was a donut of death! Even <http://make-everything-ok.com/> is broke!

Wut .

Soldim · 12-05-2014, 02:16 AM

-"Children, what does chicken give us?" - "Eggs!"
-"Excellent. What does a sheep give us?" - "Wool!"
-"Very well. What does a cow give us?" - "Homework!"

Fbone · 12-05-2014, 04:33 PM

Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish."

yvanleterrible · 12-05-2014, 04:43 PM

PoP · 12-07-2014, 05:09 PM

12-04-2014, 09:18 AM	#8224
steven522 binomial: homo legentem Posts: 1,061 Karma: 25222222 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Alabama, USA Device: iriver Story HD; Archos 80 G9	Why we call them Boobs: Spoiler: B = top view oo = front view b = side view

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12-03-2014, 02:24 PM	#8222
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	No matter what her husband did in bed, a woman never achieved an orgasm. Since, by Jewish law, a wife is entitled to sexual satisfaction, they decided to consult their Rabbi. The Rabbi listened to their story, stroked his beard, and made the following suggestion: "Hire a strapping young man. While the two of you are making love, have the young man wave a towel over you. That will help your wife fantasize and should bring on an orgasm." They went home and followed the Rabbi's advice. They hired a handsome young man and had him wave a towel over them as they made love. It didn't help -- the wife was still unsatisfied. Perplexed, they went back to the Rabbi. "Okay," he said to the husband, "Try reversing it. Have the young man make love to your wife and you wave the towel over them." Once again, they followed the Rabbi's advice. They went home and hired the same strapping young man. The young man got into bed with the wife and the husband waved the towel. The young man went about his task with great enthusiasm and soon the wife had an enormous, room-shaking, ear-splitting, screaming orgasm. The husband smiled, looked at the young man and said, triumphantly, "See that, you schmuck? THAT'S how you wave a towel!" P. - S. Feels like all jokes have already been told: searching the thread, I found orlok's original version but being 2½ years later I thought this variant, could still bring a renewed smile.

12-04-2014, 05:06 AM	#8223
Soldim Not so important Posts: 1,064 Karma: 10181343 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Zurich Device: Sony PRS-505, Kindle 4, iPad, Kobo Glo 4	"Dr Dr, I think I'm a moth" "I'm a dentist, sir" "I know, but your light was on"

12-04-2014, 10:06 AM	#8225
PeterT Grand Sorcerer Posts: 13,566 Karma: 79436716 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Toronto Device: Libra H2O, Libra Colour	For those days where nothing goes right --> http://make-everything-ok.com/

12-04-2014, 07:09 PM	#8228
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,298 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.

12-04-2014, 07:12 PM	#8229
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,555 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	But not for very long.

12-05-2014, 02:16 AM	#8232
Soldim Not so important Posts: 1,064 Karma: 10181343 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Zurich Device: Sony PRS-505, Kindle 4, iPad, Kobo Glo 4	-"Children, what does chicken give us?" - "Eggs!" -"Excellent. What does a sheep give us?" - "Wool!" -"Very well. What does a cow give us?" - "Homework!"

12-05-2014, 04:33 PM	#8233
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,298 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Two confirmed bachelors sat talking, their conversation drifted from politics to cooking. "I got a cookbook once," said one, "but I could never do anything with it." "Too much fancy work in it, eh?" asked the other. "You said it. Every one of the recipes began the same way - 'Take a clean dish."

12-05-2014, 04:43 PM	#8234
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air

12-07-2014, 05:09 PM	#8235
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃