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Old 11-08-2014, 03:46 PM   #8176
PoP
 curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ
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One Two Punch
#1

The devout cowboy lost his favorite Bible while he was mending fences out on the range. Three weeks later, a horse walked up to him carrying the Bible in its mouth. The cowboy couldn't believe his eyes. He took the precious book out of the horse's mouth, raised his eyes heavenward and exclaimed, "It's a miracle!" "Not really," said the horse. "Your name is written inside the cover."


#2

A man in a movie theater notices what looks like a horse sitting next to him. "Are you a horse?" asked the man, surprised. "Yes." "What are you doing at the movies?" The horse replied, "Well, I liked the book."



... Perhaps these horses are registered on MobileRead? Hey you, let us know!
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Old 11-08-2014, 05:30 PM   #8177
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PoP View Post

Perhaps these horses are registered on MobileRead? Hey you, let us know!
They were... But then the IP and DRM threads resurfaced...
And things got ugly...
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Old 11-08-2014, 09:55 PM   #8178
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Now an orienteering joke:

What's better, getting lost outside in the streets, or inside a huge multi-floor building?
Spoiler:
Definitely outside, because there you can be just plain wrong, whereas in the building you 'll be wrong on so many levels.
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Old 11-09-2014, 10:35 PM   #8179
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Bah, humbug!
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A tad early, but here's a little suggestion to help put everyone in the holiday spirit.
Attached Thumbnails
Click image for larger version Name: If a telemarketer calls.jpg Views: 240 Size: 30.6 KB ID: 130855  
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Old 11-11-2014, 02:03 PM   #8180
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Last edited by pilotbob; 11-11-2014 at 02:07 PM.
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Old 11-11-2014, 02:56 PM   #8181
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Hmm. He looks a bit like someone I know. But my friend's wife's name is Lisa not Linda.
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Old 11-14-2014, 06:13 AM   #8182
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I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words.

She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect.

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
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Old 11-14-2014, 08:35 AM   #8183
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^Well, duh, you forgot the Oxford comma.
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Old 11-14-2014, 03:06 PM   #8184
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Quote:
Originally Posted by orlok View Post
I asked my girlfriend to describe me in 5 words.

She said I'm mature, I'm moral, I'm pure, I'm polite and I'm perfect.

Then she added that I also had a fundamental lack of understanding about apostrophes and spaces.
Oh you mean she actually said ...
Spoiler:

She said "im-mature, im-moral, im-pure, im-polite and im-perfect. "
Dashes added only for effect.
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Old 11-14-2014, 04:50 PM   #8185
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Oh you mean she actually said ...
Spoiler:

She said "im-mature, im-moral, im-pure, im-polite and im-perfect. "
Dashes added only for effect.
In other words he's a normal human being like the rest of us.
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Old 11-15-2014, 07:18 AM   #8186
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Oh you mean she actually said ...
Spoiler:

She said "im-mature, im-moral, im-pure, im-polite and im-perfect. "
Dashes added only for effect.
'zactly .
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Old 11-16-2014, 01:49 PM   #8187
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 curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ
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Spoiler:
List of musical symbols

Spoiler:
I am in treble! I ran over something sharp and now my tire is flat. I need a quarter for the phone. Do I need to repeat any of that?
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Old 11-16-2014, 05:34 PM   #8188
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Snoozing in the sun
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Very good! My only translation problem was with quarter, as we call them crotchets!
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Old 11-16-2014, 07:56 PM   #8189
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Very good! My only translation problem was with quarter, as we call them crotchets!
... Ah, and in french, « croches ».
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Old 11-22-2014, 11:06 PM   #8190
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Is that a sandwich?
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