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Old 02-20-2010, 03:45 PM   #781
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A bush is a bush is a bush.....unless it's a burning bush.
Those bushes are burned...
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Old 02-20-2010, 07:55 PM   #782
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“Picked him up years ago,” the deckhand explained, planting his hands on his hips and
shaking his head. “Found him wandering some lost island in the South Pacific. Someone had the
48
crazy idea that he’d make a great attraction on the mainland, make us all millionaires. Problem was,
once we got him on board, he never wanted to leave. You know the old joke about where a thirty
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Old 02-22-2010, 01:02 AM   #783
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what do you call a cow after it has a calf?

decalfinated
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Old 02-22-2010, 08:53 AM   #784
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Originally Posted by happy_terd View Post
what do you call a cow after it has a calf?

decalfinated


Name: groan.gif Views: 342 Size: 1.7 KB
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Old 02-22-2010, 03:21 PM   #785
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Originally Posted by happy_terd View Post
what do you call a cow after it has a calf?

decalfinated
Double groan! Loved it.
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Old 02-22-2010, 04:01 PM   #786
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Here's one my 14-y.o. daughter told us so blame her

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler:
A stick
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Old 02-22-2010, 04:03 PM   #787
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Here's another one from the 14-y.o. mind.

What's orange and sounds like a parrot?

Spoiler:
A carrot
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Old 02-22-2010, 04:51 PM   #788
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Originally Posted by rlparker View Post
Here's one my 14-y.o. daughter told us so blame her

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler:
A stick
I heard this one on one of those British sitcoms --- The Vicar of SomethingOrOther ----- female vicar. Fun show! Her blond female sidekick didn't get the joke.

Oh .. Dibley??
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Old 02-22-2010, 04:57 PM   #789
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Originally Posted by badgoodDeb View Post
I heard this one on one of those British sitcoms --- The Vicar of SomethingOrOther ----- female vicar. Fun show! Her blond female sidekick didn't get the joke.

Oh .. Dibley??
Yes - Dibley. One of those comedy shows in the UK that had a bit of a following. Pretty good in my humble opinion.

One of the other jokes from that end section where the blond verger doesn't get it (she never did) was:

Two nuns driving through Transylvania are shocked when a vampire jumps on the bonnet (hood?) of the car.

"Quick, show it your cross", says one

"Right - good idea", says the other, "GET OFF OUR FARKING CAR YOU TOOTHY BASTARD!!"
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Old 02-22-2010, 04:58 PM   #790
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Originally Posted by rlparker View Post
Here's one my 14-y.o. daughter told us so blame her

What's brown and sticky?

Spoiler:
A stick

OMG That's terrible as is the other one!
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Old 02-22-2010, 05:48 PM   #791
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Oh. I wasn't laughing at YOU, LS., honest!!

It was the picture in my mind of anyone trying to squeeze that miniscule drop out..........'snort...........
I was...
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Old 02-22-2010, 08:33 PM   #792
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Originally Posted by Bilbo1967 View Post
One of the other jokes from that end section where the blond verger doesn't get it (she never did) was:
Two nuns driving through Transylvania are shocked when a vampire jumps on the bonnet (hood?) of the car.
"Quick, show it your cross", says one
"Right - good idea", says the other, "GET OFF OUR FARKING CAR YOU TOOTHY BASTARD!!"
hahahaha !!!
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Old 02-22-2010, 08:39 PM   #793
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Originally Posted by Bilbo1967 View Post
Yes - Dibley. One of those comedy shows in the UK that had a bit of a following. Pretty good in my humble opinion.

One of the other jokes from that end section where the blond verger doesn't get it (she never did) was:

Two nuns driving through Transylvania are shocked when a vampire jumps on the bonnet (hood?) of the car.

"Quick, show it your cross", says one

"Right - good idea", says the other, "GET OFF OUR FARKING CAR YOU TOOTHY BASTARD!!"
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Old 02-23-2010, 01:59 AM   #794
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Originally Posted by Bilbo1967 View Post
Yes - Dibley. One of those comedy shows in the UK that had a bit of a following. Pretty good in my humble opinion.

One of the other jokes from that end section where the blond verger doesn't get it (she never did) was:

Two nuns driving through Transylvania are shocked when a vampire jumps on the bonnet (hood?) of the car.

"Quick, show it your cross", says one

"Right - good idea", says the other, "GET OFF OUR FARKING CAR YOU TOOTHY BASTARD!!"
Damn it! I really must NOT read this thread while drinking coffee! You owe me a new monitor!
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Old 02-23-2010, 06:22 AM   #795
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Originally Posted by roger the rabbit View Post
A Scotsman walking through a field, sees a man drinking water from a pool with his hand.
The Scotsman man shouts ' Awa ye feel hoor thatâs full Oâ coos Sharn'
(Don't drink the water, it's full of cow s ** t.)
The man shouts back 'I'm English, Speak English, I don't understand you'.
The Scotsman man shouts back 'Use both hands, you'll get more in.'
It's really funny for me to find that jokes I believed typical of my country (it was about a southern italian in Milan) are also known abroad with different characters...
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