Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 519

Glorfindel · 06-04-2014, 09:25 PM

Glorfindel · 06-04-2014, 09:26 PM

Bookpossum · 06-05-2014, 01:53 AM

Remember that about half the readership here is female, Glorfindel.

Glorfindel · 06-05-2014, 09:47 AM

It's still funny

pilotbob · 06-05-2014, 12:37 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

Remember that about half the readership here is female, Glorfindel.

Isn't not like there haven't been plenty of jokes about men's habits, quirks and inadequacies.

Fbone · 06-05-2014, 06:12 PM

orlok · 06-06-2014, 11:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

Remember that about half the readership here is female, Glorfindel.

Quote:

Originally Posted by pilotbob

Isn't not like there haven't been plenty of jokes about men's habits, quirks and inadequacies.

Here's one to redress the balance a little:

badgoodDeb · 06-06-2014, 12:44 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

Here's one to redress the balance a little:

Right On!!

HomeInMyShoes · 06-06-2014, 12:45 PM

I thought we put up the signs because we swear and throw things when we 'work'.

Fbone · 06-06-2014, 02:06 PM

Some mechanics worship idles.

PoP · 06-06-2014, 02:19 PM

An old dog starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch.

The old dog thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!”

Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly,

“Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?”

Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees.

“Whew!,” says the panther, “That was close! That old dog nearly had me!”

Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes.

The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther.

The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!”

Now, the old dog sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?,” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old dog says…

“Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!”

...So he tells:

Spoiler:

badgoodDeb · 06-06-2014, 02:45 PM

Good one! Just goes to show you can't fool an old dog!

PieMan597 · 06-06-2014, 03:50 PM

What is Beethoven's favorite fruit?

Ba-na-na-na!

BelleZora · 06-07-2014, 12:27 AM

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Fbone · 06-07-2014, 10:58 PM

When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21,  I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years.

-Mark Twain

06-06-2014, 02:19 PM	#7781
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	An old dog starts chasing rabbits and before long, discovers that he’s lost. Wandering about, he notices a panther heading rapidly in his direction with the intention of having lunch. The old dog thinks, “Oh, oh! I’m in deep shit now!” Noticing some bones on the ground close by, he immediately settles down to chew on the bones with his back to the approaching cat. Just as the panther is about to leap, the old dog exclaims loudly, “Boy, that was one delicious panther! I wonder, if there are any more around here?” Hearing this, the young panther halts his attack in mid-strike, a look of terror comes over him and he slinks away into the trees. “Whew!,” says the panther, “That was close! That old dog nearly had me!” Meanwhile, a squirrel who had been watching the whole scene from a nearby tree, figures he can put this knowledge to good use and trade it for protection from the panther. So, off he goes. The squirrel soon catches up with the panther, spills the beans and strikes a deal for himself with the panther. The young panther is furious at being made a fool of and says, “Here, squirrel, hop on my back and see what’s going to happen to that conniving canine!” Now, the old dog sees the panther coming with the squirrel on his back and thinks, “What am I going to do now?,” but instead of running, the dog sits down with his back to his attackers, pretending he hasn’t seen them yet, and just when they get close enough to hear, the old dog says… “Where’s that squirrel? I sent him off an hour ago to bring me another panther!” ...So he tells: Spoiler: Last edited by PoP; 06-14-2014 at 06:53 AM.

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06-04-2014, 09:25 PM	#7771
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,762 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO

06-04-2014, 09:26 PM	#7772
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,762 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO

06-05-2014, 01:53 AM	#7773
Bookpossum Snoozing in the sun Posts: 10,146 Karma: 115423645 Join Date: Jul 2011 Location: Melbourne, Australia Device: iPad Mini, Kobo Touch	Remember that about half the readership here is female, Glorfindel.

06-05-2014, 09:47 AM	#7774
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,762 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO	It's still funny

06-05-2014, 06:12 PM	#7776
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus

06-06-2014, 12:45 PM	#7779
HomeInMyShoes Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,226 Karma: 67780237 Join Date: Jul 2011 Device: none	I thought we put up the signs because we swear and throw things when we 'work'.

06-06-2014, 02:06 PM	#7780
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	Some mechanics worship idles.

06-06-2014, 02:45 PM	#7782
badgoodDeb Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,555 Karma: 64462893 Join Date: Jan 2008 Location: Harrisburg outskirts Device: Palms, K1-4s, iPads, iPhones, KV, KO1	Good one! Just goes to show you can't fool an old dog!

06-06-2014, 03:50 PM	#7783
PieMan597 Still a pie Posts: 6,285 Karma: 37018654 Join Date: Jan 2014 Location: PieTown USA Device: Kindle Touch, OnePlus 7 Pro	What is Beethoven's favorite fruit? Ba-na-na-na!

06-07-2014, 12:27 AM	#7784
BelleZora Wizard Posts: 1,442 Karma: 25151986 Join Date: May 2012 Location: Seattle, US Device: Kindle Paperwhite, Kobo Libra 2, Pocketbook Verse Pro Color

06-07-2014, 10:58 PM	#7785
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	When I was a boy of 14, my father was so ignorant, I could hardly stand to have the old man around. But when I got to be 21,  I was astonished at how much the old man had learned in seven years. -Mark Twain