Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 515

PoP · 04-28-2014, 07:40 PM

A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way.

On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" She was incredibly annoyed by now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again.

The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot.
"Hey, lady!" it said.

"Yes?"

"You know."

Stitchawl · 04-28-2014, 08:06 PM

After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice:

"Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train".
"Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting". "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss". "No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life". "Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!"

Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly.

When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed."

Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer.

Stitchawl

Stitchawl · 04-30-2014, 12:20 AM

Stitchawl

PeterT · 04-30-2014, 01:54 PM

+1

PoP · 05-03-2014, 07:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoP

How about this wiser method:
Attachment 121773

My company did a password audit. One woman¹ had the following as her password:

MickeyMinnieHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofySacramento

When asked why, she answered, "I was told it had to have eight characters and one of them had to be a capital.

¹
I thought for a second she might have been a blond...

Stitchawl · 05-04-2014, 02:32 AM

Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????'

Stitchawl

PoP · 05-04-2014, 07:18 AM

My university did a password audit. One woman¹ had the following as her password:

MickeyMinnieHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyWashington

When asked why, she answered, "I was told it had to have eight characters and one of them had to be a capital.

¹ Such are the blondes from our math department, they know that Sacramento isn't a character

Stitchawl · 05-07-2014, 11:27 PM

Moderator Notice
Deleted by moderator. Please do bear in mind that MR is a "family-friendly" site, and that sexual content is inappropriate.

Thanks.

BenG · 05-10-2014, 12:20 PM

HomeInMyShoes · 05-12-2014, 10:03 AM

^Haha.

Glorfindel · 05-12-2014, 10:49 AM

I don't get it...

odiakkoh · 05-12-2014, 11:48 AM

She got stabbed with a spoon...Witherspoon, her last name.

Bilbo1967 · 05-12-2014, 12:00 PM

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Glorfindel · 05-12-2014, 12:07 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by odiakkoh

She got stabbed with a spoon...Witherspoon, her last name.

Ah, I see. Thank you I didn't know who that was

PoP · 05-15-2014, 03:51 PM

A bus driver fed up to continually have racist fights between black and white passengers stopped his bus one day.

"All right" he said. "Enough. Everybody out!"

"From now on, there is no Black or White. You are all Blue!"

Now please get back in, one by one, in perfect order.

Dark blue on the left, pale blue on the right.

¹ Doubly appropriate title IMHO since it was the B-side to "Make Me Smile", Chicago, 1970

04-28-2014, 07:40 PM	#7711
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	Clever Parrot A lady was walking past a pet store when a parrot said, "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" The lady was furious and continued on her way. On the way home, she passed by the pet store again and the parrot once more said "Hey, lady! You're really ugly!" She was incredibly annoyed by now, so she went into the store and said that she would sue the store and kill the bird. The store manager apologized and promised he would make sure the parrot didn't say it again. The next day, she deliberately passed by the store to test the parrot. "Hey, lady!" it said. "Yes?" "You know."

05-04-2014, 07:18 AM	#7717
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	^^ ... Exactly My university did a password audit. One woman¹ had the following as her password: MickeyMinnieHueyLouieDeweyDonaldGoofyWashington When asked why, she answered, "I was told it had to have eight characters and one of them had to be a capital. ¹ Such are the blondes from our math department, they know that Sacramento isn't a character

05-07-2014, 11:27 PM	#7718
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Moderator Notice Deleted by moderator. Please do bear in mind that MR is a "family-friendly" site, and that sexual content is inappropriate. Thanks. Last edited by HarryT; 05-08-2014 at 05:39 AM.

05-15-2014, 03:51 PM	#7725
PoP curly᷂͓̫̙᷊̥̮̾ͯͤͭͬͦͨ ʎʌɹnɔ Posts: 3,018 Karma: 50506927 Join Date: Dec 2010 Location: ♁ ᴺ₄₅°₃₀' ᵂ₇₃°₃₇' ±₆₀" Device: K3₃.₄.₃ PW3&4₅.₁₃.₃	Colour My World ¹ A bus driver fed up to continually have racist fights between black and white passengers stopped his bus one day. "All right" he said. "Enough. Everybody out!" "From now on, there is no Black or White. You are all Blue!" Now please get back in, one by one, in perfect order. Dark blue on the left, pale blue on the right. ¹ Doubly appropriate title IMHO since it was the B-side to "Make Me Smile", Chicago, 1970

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04-28-2014, 08:06 PM	#7712
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	After a tiring day, a commuter settled down in his seat and closed his eyes. As the train rolled out of the station, the young woman sitting next to him pulled out her cell phone and started talking in a loud voice: "Hi sweetheart. It's Sue. I'm on the train". "Yes, I know it's the six thirty and not the four thirty, but I had a long meeting". "No, honey, not with that Kevin from the accounting office. It was with the boss". "No sweetheart, you're the only one in my life". "Yes, I'm sure, cross my heart!" Fifteen minutes later, she was still talking loudly. When the man sitting next to her had enough, he leaned over and said into the phone, "Sue, hang up the phone and come back to bed." Sue doesn't use her cell phone in public any longer. Stitchawl

04-30-2014, 12:20 AM	#7713
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Stitchawl

04-30-2014, 01:54 PM	#7714
PeterT Grand Sorcerer Posts: 13,562 Karma: 79436716 Join Date: Nov 2007 Location: Toronto Device: Libra H2O, Libra Colour	+1

05-04-2014, 02:32 AM	#7716
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Two blondes living in Oklahoma were sitting on a bench talking, and one blonde says to the other, 'Which do you think is farther away... Florida or the moon?' The other blonde turns and says 'Helloooooooooo, can you see Florida ?????' Stitchawl

05-10-2014, 12:20 PM	#7719
BenG Home Guard Posts: 4,730 Karma: 86721650 Join Date: Jun 2007 Location: Alpha Ralpha Boulevard Device: Kindle Oasis 3G, iPhone 6

05-12-2014, 10:03 AM	#7720
HomeInMyShoes Grand Sorcerer Posts: 19,226 Karma: 67780237 Join Date: Jul 2011 Device: none	^Haha.

05-12-2014, 10:49 AM	#7721
Glorfindel Force-Aware Elf Posts: 4,762 Karma: 11557898 Join Date: Feb 2014 Location: Valinor Device: Kindle 4 w/SO	I don't get it...

05-12-2014, 11:48 AM	#7722
odiakkoh Guru Posts: 823 Karma: 1818344 Join Date: Apr 2011 Device: iPhone 5s	She got stabbed with a spoon...Witherspoon, her last name.

05-12-2014, 12:00 PM	#7723
Bilbo1967 Not scared! Posts: 13,424 Karma: 81011643 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Midlands, UK Device: Kindle Paperwhite 10, Huawei M5 10