Unutterably Silly Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day

[MJK2111]

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: 'Keep off the Grass.'

[MJK2111]

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: 'You stay here; I'll go on a head.'

[MJK2111]

When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.

[MJK2111]

Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam!'

[MJK2111]

A hole has been found in the nudist-camp wall. The police are looking into it.

[MJK2111]

There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.

[doubleshuffle]

One.

Spoiler:

How many psychics does it take to change a light bulb?

[Glorfindel]

lol you posted it backerds

[Glorfindel]

Buy a Chevy and you'll buy the best:
Drive one mile, walk the rest.

[orlok]

[samhy]

Originally Posted by orlok

I bet the third one is wearing a white lab coat

[Glorfindel]

LOL that is funy

[steven522]

The owner of a small roadside store was well known by his regulars for quoting a bit of Bible scripture after every sale.

When a young girl came into the store and bought some candy, he rung up the sale and said: "Suffer the little children come unto me."

When a woman came into the store to buy a birthday card for her father, he rung up the sale and said: "Honor thy father and thy mother."

One day a large truck and horse trailer pulled up to the store. A man in an expensive suit walked in and asked if the store had any horse blankets.

The owner replied that he thought he did have one horse blanket in the back. He brought it out and set it on the counter. "Twenty-five dollars," he told the man.

"Now wait a minute," the man replied, "I've got a prize winning thoroughbred out in that trailer. I need something better than this twenty-five dollar blanket to put on him."

The owner went to the back room, unfolded the blanket, then re-folded the blanket a different way. He brought it back out, placed it on the counter and said, "Fifty dollars."

The man shook his head and said, "I don't think you understand. Nothing is too good for this horse. Don't you have anything better?"

The owner went to the back room, flattened out the blanket and then rolled the blanket up. He brought it back out and placed it on the counter. "One hundred thirty dollars," he said.

"That's more like it," the man said proudly and paid for the blanket and walked out.

The owner rung up the sale, placed the money in the register, lifted his eyes up to heaven and said: "He was a stranger... and I took him in."

[PieMan597]

In Egypt, is it legal to marry a widow's husband?

Spoiler:

You would want to marry a dead person?

[Stitchawl]

When I was 13, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend with big boobs.

When I was 16, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion,
so I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life.

When I was 18 and in college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too
emotional. Everything was an emergency. She was a drama queen, cried all the
time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.

When I was 21, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was
totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so
dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement.

When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her.
She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did
mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great
fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a
girl with some real ambition.

When I turned 35, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted
firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she
divorced me and took everything I owned.

I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big boobs.


Stitchawl