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Old 01-02-2009, 09:28 AM   #61
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Count and see.
Well, as first sentences go, I'm sorry to say that that one doesn't have much of a "grip."
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:32 AM   #62
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Well, as first sentences go, I'm sorry to say that that one doesn't have much of a "grip."
It has a certain amount of mystery to it. What is the reader being told to count? What will they see when they do? why is the book being introduced in such an enigmatic way or is just that, more prosaically, some-one has torn the reak first chapter out?
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:37 AM   #63
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It is an unfortunate thing that he is an orphan, because he has a face only a mother could love.
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:39 AM   #64
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:44 AM   #65
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Rising from the concrete sidewalk, she said, "I was hoping to bump into you today."
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"May I please have some chocolate candy?", asked the little girl to the candy store clerk.
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:52 AM   #66
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Groan.
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Count and see.
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Well, as first sentences go, I'm sorry to say that that one doesn't have much of a "grip."
Yes, I agree, but the second lines have great potential and unviel the plot.
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:53 AM   #67
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"Shockabsorber", the pathologist explained pointing a finger to the fracture on the dead mechanic´s head.
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Old 01-02-2009, 09:55 AM   #68
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Count and see.
I'm just a stupid dog, but the length of each page and the number of posts per page seem to be randomly generated.
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Old 01-02-2009, 10:06 AM   #69
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"Rubber-to-metal-parts", the pathologist explained pointing a finger to the opened abdomen of the dead mechanic.

(Yeah, it´s a sequel and this the first sentence of part 2 of the "memories of a mechanic killer"; have I mentioned that I have a few problems with my car?)
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Old 01-02-2009, 10:12 AM   #70
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I'm just a stupid dog, but the length of each page and the number of posts per page seem to be randomly generated.
15 posts per page I reckon.
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Old 01-02-2009, 10:12 AM   #71
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The llama looked at him and demanded in a low voice: "I need your duck, your socks and your motorcycle".

Well, I admit, it´s not my first sentence. I stole it from world´s most famous llama action sequel.
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My first sentence got me 3 months in county lockup...
lolpandas for everybody !!!
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Old 01-02-2009, 10:46 AM   #72
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It has a certain amount of mystery to it. What is the reader being told to count? What will they see when they do? why is the book being introduced in such an enigmatic way or is just that, more prosaically, some-one has torn the reak first chapter out?
Now you completely understand Post Modernism, in addition to Forster's unreliable narrator.




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Old 01-02-2009, 10:52 AM   #73
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She came into my office wearing nothing more than a gown, her gat weaving nervously in front of her twin orbs like a drunken sailer who had just urinated all over himself.
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Old 01-02-2009, 10:54 AM   #74
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"Shockabsorber", the pathologist explained pointing a finger to the fracture on the dead mechanic´s head.
Quote:
Originally Posted by ravenne View Post
"Rubber-to-metal-parts", the pathologist explained pointing a finger to the opened abdomen of the dead mechanic.

(Yeah, it´s a sequel and this the first sentence of part 2 of the "memories of a mechanic killer"; have I mentioned that I have a few problems with my car?)
If the publishers don't accept the manuscript, you could always submit a screenplay to CSI, they seem to be running out of ideas.

Maybe start a new series CSI Mechanic!
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Old 01-02-2009, 10:54 AM   #75
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She had the kind of legs you see on a donkey: Too much hair.
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