Editing suggestions for my book - Page 5

Cinisajoy · 07-25-2017, 11:45 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmw

Just to be clear: I do have three books (one series) published and visible under one thread in self-promotions. And some shorts under another thread. (I'd hate people to think I was spouting as much nonsense as I have without any basis/experience at all.

) I just haven't bumped the threads in the a long time.

Todd, there are search features available on MobileRead. Go to the forum you are interested in and use the "Search this Forum" option. Searching for "DuBois" (part of the name of the author of the OP - original post - of this thread) in the self-promotions forum will find you the book that started this thread. (No amount of searching will help you find the draft I was talking about above because I have not even mentioned the actual title anywhere online.)

Duh, I think I either have one of your books or I sampled one of your books. I forgot about that.

gmw · 07-25-2017, 08:01 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

Duh, I think I either have one of your books or I sampled one of your books. I forgot about that.

Deep the arrow that drives into my breast. Sharp the pain that shudders through my body. Mortally wounded, I first gasp then drop to my knees. I stare with pleading eyes. "Please, no. No!" I cry. "Anything but that!"

Last words of a forgotten author.

Cinisajoy · 07-25-2017, 08:05 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmw

Deep the arrow that drives into my breast. Sharp the pain that shudders through my body. Mortally wounded, I first gasp then drop to my knees. I stare with pleading eyes. "Please, no. No!" I cry. "Anything but that!"

Last words of a forgotten author.

It could be worse, you could be a forgotten lover.

Dr. Drib · 07-25-2017, 08:16 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

It could be worse, you could be a forgotten lover.

John F · 07-25-2017, 08:30 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

...

If you mean the Patricia Clark Library, that is only for public domain books.

I believe you are incorrect.

Quote:

. ...Therefore, we will not accept book uploads unless they are either in the "Life+70" public domain, or covered by a CC (or similar) licence.

gmw · 07-25-2017, 08:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cinisajoy

It could be worse, you could be a forgotten lover.

So many possible responses to this ... but Ron Weasley's words from "Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone" (from the movie, not the book) won out:

"She needs to sort out her priorities!"

E.M.DuBois · 08-13-2017, 05:11 PM

So, um... I compared my work as it is now to my work as it was just a year ago. I've gone through it over and over, trying to slim it down, use more accurate words, etc. "Get to the point" kind of description, you know? And I wanted to know how many unnecessary pages I've cut out. A year ago, my manuscript was 380 pages. After multiple edits and proofreads I've managed (drumroll please...............) to add 40 damn pages, bringing the grand total up to 420.

Seriously? I've taken out entire scenes, for Heaven's sake! How did I ADD a single page, let alone 40?!?!?

Cinisajoy · 08-13-2017, 05:40 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by E.M.DuBois

So, um... I compared my work as it is now to my work as it was just a year ago. I've gone through it over and over, trying to slim it down, use more accurate words, etc. "Get to the point" kind of description, you know? And I wanted to know how many unnecessary pages I've cut out. A year ago, my manuscript was 380 pages. After multiple edits and proofreads I've managed (drumroll please...............) to add 40 damn pages, bringing the grand total up to 420.

Seriously? I've taken out entire scenes, for Heaven's sake! How did I ADD a single page, let alone 40?!?!?

Did you change the fonts?
Or is like my jambalaya? Take out a pound of chicken but add two pounds of other stuff without realizing it?

gmw · 08-14-2017, 07:50 AM

How does your word count compare? That would give you a better idea.

Cinisajoy suggested font size, but also line spacing, paragraph layout and margin sizes can make a significant difference. Or maybe you broke up what was previously long paragraphs. Perhaps you changed the way you present dialogue? Or moved previously descriptive text into dialogue? Such changes can alter the page count without impacting the word count very much.

Or maybe you got carried away with trying to clarify remaining text after cutting other scenes? Easy to do, but not always a good idea.

Lemurion · 08-16-2017, 08:20 PM

GMW is right, it's word count that really matters to see whether you actually lengthened it or not. If you've been changing fonts, there's no way the page count remained constant.

E.M.DuBois · 08-19-2017, 06:28 PM

I always kept the font Times New Roman (the physical manuscript I printed in Comic Sans out doesn't count.) I've gone from 268k to 272k words since I started the re-edit after I joined this site. I don't have the count from when I initially "finished" the first draft, all I have is the printed out manuscript (still in Times New Roman) what came out at 380 pages.

gmw · 08-20-2017, 07:31 AM

So that's the first draft at approx 705 words per printed page. Had the words per page remained the same you'd have gone up only five pages with an extra 4k words. ... So something about the layout has changed. Add chapter breaks to the list of things that can alter the page count.

Still, your point was that this editing pass was expected to cut the length and it hasn't done that. .... So the question becomes: do you try again? Or does that risk adding another 40 pages?

.

dwig · 08-20-2017, 03:34 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by gmw

...Add chapter breaks to the list of things that can alter the page count.
...

Also add paragraph spacing.

If you are using a style that adds spaces between paragraphs then simply breaking the same number of words into a larger number of shorter paragraphs will increase the physical display/printed "size".

Also, turning on or off hyphenation can make a substantial change.

E.M.DuBois · 09-23-2017, 06:38 AM

Ugh... I finally did it. After a lot of editing, re-editing, sitting on it, and letting what I wanted fully mature instead of jumping the gun, I finally sat down... and cut down the Prologue from 9 pages to 3. Basically, it's Laura, the grave, the dream, a quick mention of the photo of her dad and his friends, and a quick glimpse at the red-rings in the sky and a mention that all clues to the forgotten day they appeared pointed toward her father. Everything else will be saved for Book 6 of the series. It hurt a little less knowing all that would come back in the that installment of the series.

Dr. Drib · 09-23-2017, 08:28 AM

To fully understand the editing process, you need to read Fredric Brown's short story, "The Greatest Poem Ever Written," found in one of his collections titled "Mostly Murder."

Unfortunately, I don't think it's available in ebook form.

I have an old, tattered - and literally falling apart - paperback.

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08-13-2017, 05:11 PM	#67
E.M.DuBois Connoisseur Posts: 84 Karma: 6661996 Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Find Me, USA Device: Samsung Galaxy S9+	So, um... I compared my work as it is now to my work as it was just a year ago. I've gone through it over and over, trying to slim it down, use more accurate words, etc. "Get to the point" kind of description, you know? And I wanted to know how many unnecessary pages I've cut out. A year ago, my manuscript was 380 pages. After multiple edits and proofreads I've managed (drumroll please...............) to add 40 damn pages, bringing the grand total up to 420. Seriously? I've taken out entire scenes, for Heaven's sake! How did I ADD a single page, let alone 40?!?!?

08-14-2017, 07:50 AM	#69
gmw cacoethes scribendi Posts: 5,818 Karma: 137770742 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kobo Aura One & H2Ov2, Sony PRS-650	How does your word count compare? That would give you a better idea. Cinisajoy suggested font size, but also line spacing, paragraph layout and margin sizes can make a significant difference. Or maybe you broke up what was previously long paragraphs. Perhaps you changed the way you present dialogue? Or moved previously descriptive text into dialogue? Such changes can alter the page count without impacting the word count very much. Or maybe you got carried away with trying to clarify remaining text after cutting other scenes? Easy to do, but not always a good idea.

08-16-2017, 08:20 PM	#70
Lemurion eReader Posts: 2,750 Karma: 4968470 Join Date: Aug 2007 Device: Note 5; PW3; Nook HD+; ChuWi Hi12; iPad	GMW is right, it's word count that really matters to see whether you actually lengthened it or not. If you've been changing fonts, there's no way the page count remained constant.

08-19-2017, 06:28 PM	#71
E.M.DuBois Connoisseur Posts: 84 Karma: 6661996 Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Find Me, USA Device: Samsung Galaxy S9+	I always kept the font Times New Roman (the physical manuscript I printed in Comic Sans out doesn't count.) I've gone from 268k to 272k words since I started the re-edit after I joined this site. I don't have the count from when I initially "finished" the first draft, all I have is the printed out manuscript (still in Times New Roman) what came out at 380 pages.

08-20-2017, 07:31 AM	#72
gmw cacoethes scribendi Posts: 5,818 Karma: 137770742 Join Date: Nov 2010 Location: Australia Device: Kobo Aura One & H2Ov2, Sony PRS-650	So that's the first draft at approx 705 words per printed page. Had the words per page remained the same you'd have gone up only five pages with an extra 4k words. ... So something about the layout has changed. Add chapter breaks to the list of things that can alter the page count. Still, your point was that this editing pass was expected to cut the length and it hasn't done that. .... So the question becomes: do you try again? Or does that risk adding another 40 pages? .

09-23-2017, 06:38 AM	#74
E.M.DuBois Connoisseur Posts: 84 Karma: 6661996 Join Date: Apr 2017 Location: Find Me, USA Device: Samsung Galaxy S9+	Ugh... I finally did it. After a lot of editing, re-editing, sitting on it, and letting what I wanted fully mature instead of jumping the gun, I finally sat down... and cut down the Prologue from 9 pages to 3. Basically, it's Laura, the grave, the dream, a quick mention of the photo of her dad and his friends, and a quick glimpse at the red-rings in the sky and a mention that all clues to the forgotten day they appeared pointed toward her father. Everything else will be saved for Book 6 of the series. It hurt a little less knowing all that would come back in the that installment of the series.

09-23-2017, 08:28 AM	#75
Dr. Drib Grand Sorcerer Posts: 45,348 Karma: 59447733 Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: Peru Device: KINDLE: Oasis 3, Scribe (1st), Matcha; KOBO: Libra 2, Libra Colour	To fully understand the editing process, you need to read Fredric Brown's short story, "The Greatest Poem Ever Written," found in one of his collections titled "Mostly Murder." Unfortunately, I don't think it's available in ebook form. I have an old, tattered - and literally falling apart - paperback.

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