Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 499

PoP · 02-03-2014, 07:41 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kumabjorn

Young Einstein, Newton and Pascal were playing hide and seek. Einstein was it and while he counted to 100 Pascal ran away into the forest, Newton took a few steps and drew a one meter square then stepped into the middle. When Einstein was finished counting he turned around to begin the search when to his astonishment he saw Newton and immediately yelled; "I've found Pascal!"

Nice. More intelligibly:

Spoiler:

Kumabjorn · 02-03-2014, 07:43 AM

If a joke has to be explained it stops being funny. Comic's Rule #1

doubleshuffle · 02-03-2014, 07:46 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kumabjorn

If a joke has to be explained it stops being funny. Comic's Rule #1

Well, before the explanation it wasn't funny at all. Afterwards I could at least have a hearty groan. But I'm sure my physicist friends would be delighted if I had any.

Stitchawl · 02-03-2014, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by PoP

Nice. More intelligibly:

Spoiler:

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kumabjorn

If a joke has to be explained it stops being funny. Comic's Rule #1

Now really, Kumabjorn... HOW can a math joke be funny?

Thank you Pop. I didn't have a clue before your spoiler. And it helps explain (a bit) what the little label on my fencing jacket means; 'Rated 1200 Newtons'

Stitchawl

PoP · 02-03-2014, 08:38 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kumabjorn

If a joke has to be explained it stops being funny.

Agreed. I won't do it again¹

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

... HOW can a math joke be funny?

Sure, science jokes ARE funny²

when rather than being only puzzling:
A neutrino walks into a bar and gets a free beer.

they carry their explanation:
A neutrino walks into a bar and asks how much for a beer. The bartender replies, "For you, no charge."

¹ Oops, I did it again

² funnier at least IMHO

Stitchawl · 02-03-2014, 10:34 AM

Neutrinos I understand. But what's a free beer?

Stitchawl

crich70 · 02-03-2014, 11:07 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Now really, Kumabjorn... HOW can a math joke be funny?

Thank you Pop. I didn't have a clue before your spoiler. And it helps explain (a bit) what the little label on my fencing jacket means; 'Rated 1200 Newtons'

Stitchawl

You mean it doesn't add up?

crich70 · 02-03-2014, 11:10 AM

An old priest wants to go golfing instead of preaching his sermon so he plays sick and has one of the younger priests fill in for him. Up in heaven St. Peter sees the old priest do this and complains to God. God tells St. Peter to calm himself and promises that the old priest will be punished.
Down on earth the old priest takes aim at his ball and with a single stroke sends it right into the hole.
St. Peter turns to God and asks what kind of punishment that is.
God just looks at St. Peter and says, "who is he going to tell?"

Fbone · 02-03-2014, 05:20 PM

This turkey really is a jailbird.

crich70 · 02-04-2014, 01:16 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

This turkey really is a jailbird.

Grand theft birdseed?

Stitchawl · 02-04-2014, 04:44 AM

THE ULTIMATE ETHNIC JOKE…………………

An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans,

... Walk into a fine restaurant.

"I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group.

"You can't come in here without a Thai".

Stitchawl

orlok · 02-04-2014, 04:58 AM

yvanleterrible · 02-04-2014, 06:17 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by orlok

That's me in the morning, getting out of my car to enter the factory where I alas still work...

Stitchawl · 02-04-2014, 06:53 AM

Klaatoo barrada nictoe!

Stitchawl

orlok · 02-04-2014, 07:05 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Stitchawl

Klaatoo barrada nictoe!

Stitchawl

Suspected what this reference was, but had to look up to check

.

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02-03-2014, 07:43 AM	#7472
Kumabjorn Basculocolpic Posts: 4,356 Karma: 20181319 Join Date: Jul 2010 Location: Sweden Device: Kindle 3 WiFi, Kindle 4SO, Kindle for Android, Sony PRS-350 and PRS-T1	If a joke has to be explained it stops being funny. Comic's Rule #1

02-03-2014, 10:34 AM	#7476
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Neutrinos I understand. But what's a free beer? Stitchawl

02-03-2014, 11:10 AM	#7478
crich70 Grand Sorcerer Posts: 11,310 Karma: 43993832 Join Date: Feb 2010 Location: Monroe Wisconsin Device: K3, Kindle Paperwhite, Calibre, and Mobipocket for Pc (netbook)	An old priest wants to go golfing instead of preaching his sermon so he plays sick and has one of the younger priests fill in for him. Up in heaven St. Peter sees the old priest do this and complains to God. God tells St. Peter to calm himself and promises that the old priest will be punished. Down on earth the old priest takes aim at his ball and with a single stroke sends it right into the hole. St. Peter turns to God and asks what kind of punishment that is. God just looks at St. Peter and says, "who is he going to tell?"

02-03-2014, 05:20 PM	#7479
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	This turkey really is a jailbird.

02-04-2014, 04:44 AM	#7481
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	THE ULTIMATE ETHNIC JOKE………………… An Englishman, a Scotsman, an Irishman, a Welshman, a Latvian, a Turk, a German, an Indian, several Americans (including a Hawaiian and an Alaskan), an Argentinean, a Dane, an Australian, a Slovak, an Egyptian, a Japanese, a Moroccan, a Frenchman, a New Zealander, a Spaniard, a Russian, a Guatemalan, a Colombian, a Pakistani, a Malaysian, a Croatian, a Uzbek, a Cypriot, a Pole, a Lithuanian, a Chinese, a Sri Lankan, a Lebanese, a Cayman Islander, a Ugandan, a Vietnamese, a Korean, a Uruguayan, a Czech, an Icelander, a Mexican, a Finn, a Honduran, a Panamanian, an Andorran, an Israeli, a Venezuelan, an Iranian, a Fijian, a Peruvian, an Estonian, a Syrian, a Brazilian, a Portuguese, a Liechtensteiner, a Mongolian, a Hungarian, a Canadian, a Moldovan, a Haitian, a Norfolk Islander, a Macedonian, a Bolivian, a Cook Islander, a Tajikistani, a Samoan, an Armenian, an Aruban, an Albanian, a Greenlander, a Micronesian, a Virgin Islander, a Georgian, a Bahaman, a Belarusian, a Cuban, a Tongan, a Cambodian, a Canadian, a Qatari, an Azerbaijani, a Romanian, a Chilean, a Jamaican, a Filipino, a Ukrainian, a Dutchman, an Ecuadorian, a Costa Rican, a Swede, a Bulgarian, a Serb, a Swiss, a Greek, a Belgian, a Singaporean, an Italian, a Norwegian and 2 Africans, ... Walk into a fine restaurant. "I'm sorry," says the maître d', after scrutinizing the group. "You can't come in here without a Thai". Stitchawl

02-04-2014, 04:58 AM	#7482
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"

02-04-2014, 06:53 AM	#7484
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	Klaatoo barrada nictoe! Stitchawl