Silliness Add/Read a good joke to lighten your day - Page 459

WT Sharpe · 08-09-2013, 07:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

...unless you have cats....

Or dogs. Or Kids. Or feet.

Fbone · 08-09-2013, 08:00 PM

The MTA's idea to increase mass transit use?

poohbear_nc · 08-09-2013, 08:07 PM

Kind of reminds me when the head of the US Navy suggested adopting The Village People's "In the Navy" as an official recruiting song for the navy .....

WT Sharpe · 08-10-2013, 01:41 AM

The Huffington Post reposted this sad story that was originally posted to Facebook. Men can be such jerks!

Fbone · 08-10-2013, 04:45 PM

In case you had other ideas ...

Fbone · 08-11-2013, 04:43 PM

wannabee · 08-12-2013, 05:16 AM

Bookpossum · 08-12-2013, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by wannabee

And again!

orlok · 08-12-2013, 08:27 AM

It's never too late to tell somebody how much you love them.

Unless you've just come home drunk at 3 a.m.

MJK2111 · 08-12-2013, 01:12 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Bookpossum

Ah, that's sad! Dr Who is enormous fun.

Tom Baker.
Best Dr. Who.
Ever.

MJK2111 · 08-12-2013, 01:20 PM

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he
notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to
look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to
the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After
dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around
town.

He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in
Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the
spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down
to eat. Having no hands, he makes real mess trying to eat
with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he
goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's
found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It
looks like you´ve blown a seal."

Spoiler:

pilotbob · 08-12-2013, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by MJK2111

Tom Baker.
Best Dr. Who.
Ever.

He certainly the one I remember most/best from the earlier shows.

Fbone · 08-12-2013, 04:45 PM

What will they do in 4320p?

pilotbob · 08-12-2013, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Fbone

What will they do in 4320p?

"Now, with high-definition television, all makeup must be light and subtle."

“When it comes to makeup – less is more”

http://www.quchronicle.com/2008/10/s...stry-for-hdtv/

BOb

Stitchawl · 08-13-2013, 12:35 AM

An Easy Guide to Newspapers

1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country.

2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country.

3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles.

4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts.

5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time, and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it.

6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much.

7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train.

8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated.

9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores.

10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans.

11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store.

12. The Denver Post is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in.

.....and the British equivalent ends with the Sun.
Their readers don't give a shxt who runs the country as long as she has big boobs.

Stitchawl

08-10-2013, 01:41 AM	#6874
WT Sharpe Bah, humbug! Posts: 39,072 Karma: 157049943 Join Date: Jun 2009 Location: Chesapeake, VA, USA Device: Kindle Oasis, iPad Pro, & a Samsung Galaxy S9.	The Huffington Post reposted this sad story that was originally posted to Facebook. Men can be such jerks! Attached Thumbnails

08-12-2013, 01:20 PM	#6881
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station. After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice-cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes real mess trying to eat with his little flippers. After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you´ve blown a seal." Spoiler: "No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

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08-09-2013, 08:00 PM	#6872
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	The MTA's idea to increase mass transit use?

08-09-2013, 08:07 PM	#6873
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,600 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Kind of reminds me when the head of the US Navy suggested adopting The Village People's "In the Navy" as an official recruiting song for the navy .....

08-10-2013, 04:45 PM	#6875
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	In case you had other ideas ...

08-11-2013, 04:43 PM	#6876
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus

08-12-2013, 05:16 AM	#6877
wannabee Media Bloke Posts: 2,382 Karma: 113956855 Join Date: Sep 2010 Location: NSW - Australia Device: iOS

08-12-2013, 08:27 AM	#6879
orlok Close to the Edit! Posts: 9,797 Karma: 267994408 Join Date: Jan 2011 Location: UK Device: Kindle Oasis, Amazon Fire 8", Kindle 6"	It's never too late to tell somebody how much you love them. Unless you've just come home drunk at 3 a.m.

08-12-2013, 04:45 PM	#6883
Fbone Is that a sandwich? Posts: 8,297 Karma: 101697116 Join Date: Jun 2010 Device: Nook Glowlight Plus	What will they do in 4320p?

08-13-2013, 12:35 AM	#6885
Stitchawl Opsimath Posts: 12,344 Karma: 187123287 Join Date: Mar 2009 Location: Chiang Mai, Northern Thailand Device: Sony PRS-650, iPhone 5, Kobo Glo, Sony PRS-350, iPad, Samsung Galaxy	An Easy Guide to Newspapers 1. The Wall Street Journal is read by the people who run the country. 2. The Washington Post is read by people who think they run the country. 3. The New York Times is read by people who think they should run the country, and who are very good at crossword puzzles. 4. USA Today is read by people who think they ought to run the country but don’t really understand The New York Times. They do, however, like their statistics shown in pie charts. 5. The Los Angeles Times is read by people who wouldn’t mind running the country, if they could find the time, and if they didn’t have to leave Southern California to do it. 6. The Boston Globe is read by people whose parents used to run the country and did a poor job of it, thank you very much. 7. The New York Daily News is read by people who aren’t too sure who’s running the country and don’t really care as long as they can get a seat on the train. 8. The New York Post is read by people who don’t care who is running the country as long as they do something really scandalous, preferably while intoxicated. 9. The Miami Herald is read by people who are running another country, but need the baseball scores. 10. The San Francisco Chronicle is read by people who aren’t sure if there is a country or that anyone is running it; but if so, they oppose all that they stand for. There are occasional exceptions if the leaders are handicapped, minority, feminist, atheist dwarfs who also happen to be illegal aliens from any other country or galaxy, provided of course, that they are not Republicans. 11. The National Enquirer is read by people trapped in line at the grocery store. 12. The Denver Post is read by people who have recently caught a fish and need something to wrap it in. .....and the British equivalent ends with the Sun. Their readers don't give a shxt who runs the country as long as she has big boobs. Stitchawl