Silliness The 2-sentences-per-post story (starring a mysterious blonde psockpuppet?) - Page 45

poohbear_nc · 04-25-2011, 10:28 AM

Kicking aside a pile of rat droppings, we sat down at an oil-cloth covered table. The blonde apparently didn't notice the footprints on its red & white checked surface.

MJK2111 · 04-25-2011, 01:14 PM

Judging by the splayed nature of the footprints, I guessed that a Rhode Island Red had run amok in Wilma's place. Hopefully, it didn't wind up as part of the broccoli and rhubarb fritatta that was advertised as the daily "special."

poohbear_nc · 04-25-2011, 02:10 PM

Nope, that Rhode Island Red turned out to be our waitress, errr, waitperson, errrr wait-fowl. It hopped onto our table and fixed me with its beady little black eye -- kinda reminding me of my last ex-wife!

MJK2111 · 04-25-2011, 03:30 PM

<off-topic comment>
"wait-fowl" - that made me chuckle.

MJK2111 · 04-25-2011, 03:32 PM

While the dame ordered what seemed like one of everything on the menu, I fell back to my old standard; "One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer."
Bertha, according to her name tag, gave me the strangest look.

poohbear_nc · 04-25-2011, 03:59 PM

I understood the look when Bertha returned with 3 tall glasses of carrot juice, pointing to the beverage list of the menu! To my horror, I read: Carrot juice only!

GeoffC · 04-26-2011, 01:28 AM

Clucking to herself, Bertha retired to the corner of the room and squatted whilst we ate and drank.
I sipped at one of the carrot juices whilst I stared at a stain on the opposite wall.

MJK2111 · 04-26-2011, 09:39 AM

The stain bore a strange resemblance to an ape's head, almost as if it were a constant reminder of previous customers. And perhaps their displeasure at having been served carrot juice by a cranky old hen.

GeoffC · 04-26-2011, 11:39 AM

Oh Gawd I thought, as a past memory suddenly flickered into my mind at the association.

"Ahem," the Dame interrupted my chain of remembrance, "to The Business." [Her emphasis on the captilization, not mine]

poohbear_nc · 04-26-2011, 12:52 PM

"I believe you had a question to ask me" she purred. "Well, go ahead, I'm listening!"

GeoffC · 04-27-2011, 05:15 AM

"Okay Doll," I said - ignoring PC and getting straight to the point - "what?!"

She purred and licked her lips as though removing cream, then reached down and lifted a handbag too small for anything larger than a bazooka.

poohbear_nc · 04-27-2011, 08:13 AM

"This is 'what'" she purred. And pulled a vuvuzela out of that bag and began to play "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes."

MJK2111 · 04-27-2011, 09:51 AM

Resisting a sudden urge to shove my zucchini in her vuvuzela to shut her up, I instead sat quietly and listened to her play.
Bertha, on the other hand, stormed over to our table with her panties in quite a bunch!

poohbear_nc · 04-27-2011, 10:25 AM

I held my breath as Bertha poured two glasses of carrot juice into the offending vuvuzela, silencing the blonde's serenade. Maybe I'd be getting those chicken nuggets after all today!

MJK2111 · 04-27-2011, 01:58 PM

I suddenly began looking at Bertha in a whole new light. After a few moments, I came back to my senses; I wasn't quite that desperate...yet.

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04-25-2011, 10:28 AM	#661
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,901 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Kicking aside a pile of rat droppings, we sat down at an oil-cloth covered table. The blonde apparently didn't notice the footprints on its red & white checked surface.

04-25-2011, 01:14 PM	#662
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Judging by the splayed nature of the footprints, I guessed that a Rhode Island Red had run amok in Wilma's place. Hopefully, it didn't wind up as part of the broccoli and rhubarb fritatta that was advertised as the daily "special."

04-25-2011, 02:10 PM	#663
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,901 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Nope, that Rhode Island Red turned out to be our waitress, errr, waitperson, errrr wait-fowl. It hopped onto our table and fixed me with its beady little black eye -- kinda reminding me of my last ex-wife!

04-25-2011, 03:30 PM	#664
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	<off-topic comment> "wait-fowl" - that made me chuckle.

04-25-2011, 03:32 PM	#665
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	While the dame ordered what seemed like one of everything on the menu, I fell back to my old standard; "One bourbon, one scotch, and one beer." Bertha, according to her name tag, gave me the strangest look.

04-25-2011, 03:59 PM	#666
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,901 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	I understood the look when Bertha returned with 3 tall glasses of carrot juice, pointing to the beverage list of the menu! To my horror, I read: Carrot juice only!

04-26-2011, 01:28 AM	#667
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Clucking to herself, Bertha retired to the corner of the room and squatted whilst we ate and drank. I sipped at one of the carrot juices whilst I stared at a stain on the opposite wall.

04-26-2011, 09:39 AM	#668
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	The stain bore a strange resemblance to an ape's head, almost as if it were a constant reminder of previous customers. And perhaps their displeasure at having been served carrot juice by a cranky old hen.

04-26-2011, 11:39 AM	#669
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	Oh Gawd I thought, as a past memory suddenly flickered into my mind at the association. "Ahem," the Dame interrupted my chain of remembrance, "to The Business." [Her emphasis on the captilization, not mine]

04-26-2011, 12:52 PM	#670
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,901 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	"I believe you had a question to ask me" she purred. "Well, go ahead, I'm listening!"

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04-27-2011, 05:15 AM	#671
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	"Okay Doll," I said - ignoring PC and getting straight to the point - "what?!" She purred and licked her lips as though removing cream, then reached down and lifted a handbag too small for anything larger than a bazooka.

04-27-2011, 08:13 AM	#672
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,901 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	"This is 'what'" she purred. And pulled a vuvuzela out of that bag and began to play "Smoke Gets in Your Eyes."

04-27-2011, 09:51 AM	#673
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	Resisting a sudden urge to shove my zucchini in her vuvuzela to shut her up, I instead sat quietly and listened to her play. Bertha, on the other hand, stormed over to our table with her panties in quite a bunch!

04-27-2011, 10:25 AM	#674
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,901 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	I held my breath as Bertha poured two glasses of carrot juice into the offending vuvuzela, silencing the blonde's serenade. Maybe I'd be getting those chicken nuggets after all today!

04-27-2011, 01:58 PM	#675
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	I suddenly began looking at Bertha in a whole new light. After a few moments, I came back to my senses; I wasn't quite that desperate...yet.