The Beginning: When Harv Met Vera - Page 44

pshrynk · 04-04-2010, 04:16 PM

Harv was settling in at his table, arguing with Vivaldi about the propriety of a dog jumping up on everyone's laps and looking at their cards, when he heard a voice behind him say, "Sir, I believe you have my dog."

He looked up at the owner of the voice, intending to dispute the ownership of the dog, and was struck dumb. A veritable beauty. Blonde hair, curvy, exquisite face, everything he had ever dreamed of. When dreaming of blonde haired, curvy exquisitely beautiful women of course. The ones about the owl playing the trumpet and offering music lessons failed to have anything to do with his present situation.

"Gna!" he offered eloquently.

"Well, that's a good argument, but he belongs to me."

"I'd venture to say that ownership of any sentient being has been settled by many courts of law and at least one Amendment," came a voice from near the floor.

"Um. Well... Hi! I'm Harv Wallbanger. Who are you?" His extended hand was pointedly ignored.

"Vera Wayne." The woman got a slightly confused look on her face and muttered, "Although that's not as clear as it once once was. Anyway, Vivaldi is my dog and I want him back!"

"If I tied you to a rail and wandered off for hours on end, would you want to come back to me?"

"Shh!" said Harv. "Well, he seems to be rather attached to me, right now. And I did find him tied to a railing, as he points out."

"I had a bit of a distraction. I would have remembered him eventually."

"Likely story!"

"Well, by the presence of a badge on your blouse, it looks as if you're a participant in the tournament. What say you we put the dog up as stakes. As a side bet between the two of us."

"Hey!"

"Shh!" said the humans.

"Can I get in on that?" asked the nervous little man with the pencil moustache sitting next to Harv. "I have an airplane that is of quite a lot of value..." The man twitched suddenly and started counting the chips in front of him.

yvanleterrible · 04-04-2010, 05:37 PM

Oh, goody, goody, goody a Harv and Vera episode!!!

I couldn't have had a better birthday gift...

ShortNCuddlyAm · 04-04-2010, 05:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by pshrynk

A veritable beauty. Blonde hair, curvy, exquisite face, everything he had ever dreamed of. When dreaming of blonde haired, curvy exquisitely beautiful women of course. The ones about the owl playing the trumpet and offering music lessons failed to have anything to do with his present situation.

pshrynk · 04-05-2010, 11:36 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Oh, goody, goody, goody a Harv and Vera episode!!!

I couldn't have had a better birthday gift...

I did it just for you, my friend...

zelda_pinwheel · 04-05-2010, 11:39 AM

hallelujah ! i can tell things are getting started around here.

badgoodDeb · 04-05-2010, 09:35 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by yvanleterrible

Oh, goody, goody, goody a Harv and Vera episode!!!

I couldn't have had a better birthday gift...

Well, HEY -- Happy Birthday!!!

vivaldirules · 04-22-2010, 03:30 PM

Gee, I sure could use another installment of this. Maybe if I close my eyes and wish really hard....

pshrynk · 04-22-2010, 03:39 PM

Slite and Bois Aussi continued to case the Casino. There was a lot of activity in the back alleyway. What with the marching of the newly formed Union of People Who really Don't Want to Work for a Living and the practice of the Cuban National Frestyle Sauntering team, there wasn't much room left for the activities of the small band of Nazi soldiers who were busily setting up a small rotisserie barbeque and machine gun nest. Then there were the two llamas walking around, one with a duck on its back.

"This seems a bit odd to me," said Slite.

"I know!" replied Bois Aussi, "That sauntering team has got it all wrong! The synchronization should be on the off beat, not the main line!"

Slite looked at his companion and then looked away, slowly shaking his head. "That's an astute observation, but I was actually referring to the coming and going of that German woman and the Japanese guy. They seem to be fixated on the back door of the Casino. I think we should slip in closer to find out what they are up to."

"A good idea, mon ami! Follow my lead!"

Slipping out of the concealing shadows, Bois Aussi quickly came up to the rear of the Sauntering Team and instantly blended in. There are those who say that Babe Ruth is the greatest athlete ever born, or maybe Lou Gehrig. Others point out Knute Rockne or Joe Louis. Maybe even Duke Kahanamoku, the inventor of surfing. But there was no human being more keenly matched to his chosen sport than Roger, Comte de Bois Aussi, Gold Medalist in 1928 in Individual, Team, and Freestyle Sauntering! He just seemed to disappear in the crowd slowly sauntering down the alley.

Slite rolled his eyes and walked along behind, occasionally sniffing at a post and leaving his signature.

yvanleterrible · 04-22-2010, 03:47 PM

Brilliant!

Steven Lyle Jordan · 04-22-2010, 07:20 PM

This is like watching Lost...

Verencat · 04-22-2010, 10:17 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by vivaldirules

Gee, I sure could use another installment of this. Maybe if I close my eyes and wish really hard....

Do it again, do it again!

GeoffC · 04-23-2010, 04:38 AM

knock, knock ....

pshrynk · 04-23-2010, 08:59 AM

At the back door of the Casino, Miyatake and Hilda were pondering over the remote control that leTerrible ahd given them.

"I say that he told us that there was a sequence to follow to set off the explosions," said Miyatake.

"Nonsense!" barked Hilda, "He said to push the red button and run like hell was after you!"

"We should look up the instructions," said Miyatake, sweat breaking out on his face.

"Maybe so, but they were several pages ago and the writer is too lazy to look them up."

"Maybe someone will do that for us, then."

They stood and shuffled their feet for a few minutes. "Nothing!" said Hilda. "You just can't get good help these days!"

"My dear, I do believe that what he said was 'Do not push the red button,' otherwise, why would there be a green and a blue button next to it?"

"Decoration? Maybe he had a design esthetic."

"True, he is French."

From a dark corner of the alley, there came a barely moan of, "Quebequois! Can't anyone get it right?"

"Where is leTerrible, anyway?" asked Hilda. "He was supposed to be here by now."

"He said he would come."

"But he's not here."

They stood and looked around for a few moments.

Hilda snorted derisively and said, "Oh, bugger the neo-classic references! I say we just push the button and then get on with getting the diamonds so we can get the coup d'etat started. Mr Castro may be young, but he did not look like he had a lot of patience!"

Just then the Cuban National Synchronized Sauntering Team marched by. Hilda noted that they were synching on the off-beat rather than on the time. She snorted again. Modernists!

Unnoticed by the spies, the last saunterer in the line stepped off the mob and stood inobtrusively in the shadows. A big dog came up and sniffed at Hilda's shooes and stuck his nose in Miyatake's crotch.

"Get away you filthy beast!"

GeoffC · 04-23-2010, 09:03 AM

whayeh !

VR got a look-in (or was it a sniff)....

psockpuppet · 04-23-2010, 10:32 AM

"Hugo?"

"Yeah, Lefty?"

"Is there an ending to this story?"

"That all depends on your definition of ending, I suppose."

"It's just that I have a photo shoot in LA next week and we're stuck here in Cuba waiting for the fat guy with a beard to start writing again."

"Just be happy that you weren't involved with his latest project."

"I don't like blood that much."

"Anyway, you actually read the script, didn't you? What are we supposed to be doing right now?"

"Well, we were supposed to be infiltrating leTerrible's People's Communist Union Front and Bicycle Repair, but that got cut. I think we're supposed to warn Vivaldi about the bombs under everyone's seats."

"That mutt? Last time I worked with him the darning bill ate up my residuals!"

"I thought that was why you had the safety pin."

"That's a fashion statement." Hugo sighed. "Let's get this over with. You get to talk to him this time."

Two wool socks rolled across the floor of the Casino. No one noticed them until they bumped into the tail of a small grey dog who was craning his neck to see the cards of the man sitting next to Harv.

04-23-2010, 08:59 AM	#658
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	At the back door of the Casino, Miyatake and Hilda were pondering over the remote control that leTerrible ahd given them. "I say that he told us that there was a sequence to follow to set off the explosions," said Miyatake. "Nonsense!" barked Hilda, "He said to push the red button and run like hell was after you!" "We should look up the instructions," said Miyatake, sweat breaking out on his face. "Maybe so, but they were several pages ago and the writer is too lazy to look them up." "Maybe someone will do that for us, then." They stood and shuffled their feet for a few minutes. "Nothing!" said Hilda. "You just can't get good help these days!" "My dear, I do believe that what he said was 'Do not push the red button,' otherwise, why would there be a green and a blue button next to it?" "Decoration? Maybe he had a design esthetic." "True, he is French." From a dark corner of the alley, there came a barely moan of, "Quebequois! Can't anyone get it right?" "Where is leTerrible, anyway?" asked Hilda. "He was supposed to be here by now." "He said he would come." "But he's not here." They stood and looked around for a few moments. Hilda snorted derisively and said, "Oh, bugger the neo-classic references! I say we just push the button and then get on with getting the diamonds so we can get the coup d'etat started. Mr Castro may be young, but he did not look like he had a lot of patience!" Just then the Cuban National Synchronized Sauntering Team marched by. Hilda noted that they were synching on the off-beat rather than on the time. She snorted again. Modernists! Unnoticed by the spies, the last saunterer in the line stepped off the mob and stood inobtrusively in the shadows. A big dog came up and sniffed at Hilda's shooes and stuck his nose in Miyatake's crotch. "Get away you filthy beast!" Last edited by pshrynk; 04-24-2010 at 09:39 AM.

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04-04-2010, 04:16 PM	#646
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Harv was settling in at his table, arguing with Vivaldi about the propriety of a dog jumping up on everyone's laps and looking at their cards, when he heard a voice behind him say, "Sir, I believe you have my dog." He looked up at the owner of the voice, intending to dispute the ownership of the dog, and was struck dumb. A veritable beauty. Blonde hair, curvy, exquisite face, everything he had ever dreamed of. When dreaming of blonde haired, curvy exquisitely beautiful women of course. The ones about the owl playing the trumpet and offering music lessons failed to have anything to do with his present situation. "Gna!" he offered eloquently. "Well, that's a good argument, but he belongs to me." "I'd venture to say that ownership of any sentient being has been settled by many courts of law and at least one Amendment," came a voice from near the floor. "Um. Well... Hi! I'm Harv Wallbanger. Who are you?" His extended hand was pointedly ignored. "Vera Wayne." The woman got a slightly confused look on her face and muttered, "Although that's not as clear as it once once was. Anyway, Vivaldi is my dog and I want him back!" "If I tied you to a rail and wandered off for hours on end, would you want to come back to me?" "Shh!" said Harv. "Well, he seems to be rather attached to me, right now. And I did find him tied to a railing, as he points out." "I had a bit of a distraction. I would have remembered him eventually." "Likely story!" "Well, by the presence of a badge on your blouse, it looks as if you're a participant in the tournament. What say you we put the dog up as stakes. As a side bet between the two of us." "Hey!" "Shh!" said the humans. "Can I get in on that?" asked the nervous little man with the pencil moustache sitting next to Harv. "I have an airplane that is of quite a lot of value..." The man twitched suddenly and started counting the chips in front of him.

04-04-2010, 05:37 PM	#647
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	Oh, goody, goody, goody a Harv and Vera episode!!! I couldn't have had a better birthday gift...

04-05-2010, 11:39 AM	#650
zelda_pinwheel zeldinha zippy zeldissima Posts: 27,827 Karma: 921169 Join Date: Dec 2007 Location: Paris, France Device: eb1150 & is that a nook in her pocket, or she just happy to see you?	hallelujah ! i can tell things are getting started around here.

04-22-2010, 03:30 PM	#652
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	Gee, I sure could use another installment of this. Maybe if I close my eyes and wish really hard....

04-22-2010, 03:39 PM	#653
pshrynk Beepbeep n beebeep, yeah! Posts: 11,726 Karma: 8255450 Join Date: Apr 2008 Location: La Crosse, Wisconsin, aka America's IceBox Device: iThingie, KmkII, I miss Zelda!	Slite and Bois Aussi continued to case the Casino. There was a lot of activity in the back alleyway. What with the marching of the newly formed Union of People Who really Don't Want to Work for a Living and the practice of the Cuban National Frestyle Sauntering team, there wasn't much room left for the activities of the small band of Nazi soldiers who were busily setting up a small rotisserie barbeque and machine gun nest. Then there were the two llamas walking around, one with a duck on its back. "This seems a bit odd to me," said Slite. "I know!" replied Bois Aussi, "That sauntering team has got it all wrong! The synchronization should be on the off beat, not the main line!" Slite looked at his companion and then looked away, slowly shaking his head. "That's an astute observation, but I was actually referring to the coming and going of that German woman and the Japanese guy. They seem to be fixated on the back door of the Casino. I think we should slip in closer to find out what they are up to." "A good idea, mon ami! Follow my lead!" Slipping out of the concealing shadows, Bois Aussi quickly came up to the rear of the Sauntering Team and instantly blended in. There are those who say that Babe Ruth is the greatest athlete ever born, or maybe Lou Gehrig. Others point out Knute Rockne or Joe Louis. Maybe even Duke Kahanamoku, the inventor of surfing. But there was no human being more keenly matched to his chosen sport than Roger, Comte de Bois Aussi, Gold Medalist in 1928 in Individual, Team, and Freestyle Sauntering! He just seemed to disappear in the crowd slowly sauntering down the alley. Slite rolled his eyes and walked along behind, occasionally sniffing at a post and leaving his signature.

04-22-2010, 03:47 PM	#654
yvanleterrible Reborn Paper User Posts: 8,616 Karma: 15446734 Join Date: May 2006 Location: Que Nada Device: iPhone8, iPad Air	Brilliant!

04-22-2010, 07:20 PM	#655
Steven Lyle Jordan Grand Sorcerer Posts: 8,478 Karma: 5171130 Join Date: Jan 2006 Device: none	This is like watching Lost...

04-23-2010, 04:38 AM	#657
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	knock, knock ....

04-23-2010, 09:03 AM	#659
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	whayeh ! VR got a look-in (or was it a sniff)....

04-23-2010, 10:32 AM	#660
psockpuppet Lefty, Hugo, and me! Posts: 104 Karma: 29030 Join Date: Aug 2008 Device: Guttenberg Bible	"Hugo?" "Yeah, Lefty?" "Is there an ending to this story?" "That all depends on your definition of ending, I suppose." "It's just that I have a photo shoot in LA next week and we're stuck here in Cuba waiting for the fat guy with a beard to start writing again." "Just be happy that you weren't involved with his latest project." "I don't like blood that much." "Anyway, you actually read the script, didn't you? What are we supposed to be doing right now?" "Well, we were supposed to be infiltrating leTerrible's People's Communist Union Front and Bicycle Repair, but that got cut. I think we're supposed to warn Vivaldi about the bombs under everyone's seats." "That mutt? Last time I worked with him the darning bill ate up my residuals!" "I thought that was why you had the safety pin." "That's a fashion statement." Hugo sighed. "Let's get this over with. You get to talk to him this time." Two wool socks rolled across the floor of the Casino. No one noticed them until they bumped into the tail of a small grey dog who was craning his neck to see the cards of the man sitting next to Harv.

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