MobileRead's Win an iPad - E-Reader Survey - Page 41

Manichean · 06-25-2010, 01:08 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

[...]The orang-utan playing the organ stopped playing and twirled lazily on his stool, absently cracking his hairy knuckles.[...]

Fixed that for you.

poohbear_nc · 06-25-2010, 01:10 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Manichean

Fixed that for you.

ook ook

GeoffC · 06-25-2010, 01:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

ook ook

what's this - Episode 3 ?

poohbear_nc · 06-25-2010, 01:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by GeoffC

what's this - Episode 3 ?

Be patient little grasshopper!

GeoffC · 06-25-2010, 01:22 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

Be patient little grasshopper!

Wonderful ! So I am now next on your menu for lunch !

poohbear_nc · 06-25-2010, 01:31 PM

BRIDE OF HIGH NOON

As Alex slumped in the clutches of the fierce French Fraulein, his lips silently moved as he thought "Well, things can't get much worse now, can they?"

Bad move.

The doors behind the dreams-girl flew open and more screaming women erupted onto the landing, all attesting their unflagging devotion to Alex.
"This is just great," muttered HarryTheSheriff, "now the whole cat house comes out to play."
Doc stepped forward and bellowed: "Now, now, ladies. Yes you Verencat, and Miss Nekokami, Yes you too. Everyone step back and behave. Let the sheriff do his job."

Everyone was crowding around Alex, but the iPad drew all eyes like a magnet pulling in iron filings. Eager fingers stretched forward to stroke the dusty touch screen. Townsfolk began reminiscing: "Do you remember the App that we used to use? Wonder if it's still there. Maybe it's been updated?"

Alex kept whimpering "It's mine. Don't touch it. It's mine. I'm not going to give it to anybody! I'm keeping it! Let go of me! I want to leave!"

As Alex disappeared into a crowd of feminine fur and furbelows, Sheriff HarryT gingerly picked up the iPad and held it up to his faded blue eyes.
"Sure looks like our iPad folks. But we ought to make sure before we hang the varmint."
"Who remembers how to use this dang thing? Does anyone still have a copy of the instructions?"

Doc shouted "Get the librarian! Miss Patricia has a copy of every book in this town! In multiple formats! She'll have a copy!"

The gray doggie ran out under the swing doors towards the library, fronted by its Greek marble columns. He soon returned, followed by a tall woman wearing long robes and muttering "I don't know. The iPad used a closed system. You couldn't side-load files into it unless blessed by Saint Jobs. I'm not sure if we can jail-break it."

The crowd parted in front of her, like wheat before a tornado! Sheriff HarryT reverently passed the iPad to her and waited for her response.

(To be continued - dear god - will no one award the iPad to a MR member and free me from this toil?)

GeoffC · 06-25-2010, 01:32 PM

Davimee · 06-25-2010, 01:35 PM

More please!

*The members of MR wait with bated breath for the continuation of the story*

GeoffC · 06-25-2010, 01:37 PM

I hope you now realise that the iPad will never be issued, cos this is making a great story and it's going to be serialised for ever and ever and ever .....

Vintage Season · 06-25-2010, 01:43 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

As Alex disappeared into a crowd of feminine fur and furbelows...

I think you just won the now-there's-a-word-you-don't-see-every-day award.

- M.

Manichean · 06-25-2010, 02:02 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by poohbear_nc

ook ook

Ook.

(Hey, there's a five character limit to posts? And here I thought an single "Ook" was worth a whole sentence in plain english.)

poohbear_nc · 06-25-2010, 02:35 PM

HIGH NOON THE SAGA

Before Miss Patricia could lay hands on the infernal device, the swing doors burst open as the town lawyer, Mr. Sharp Tom, ran in shouting "Don't hang him yet! We must follow due process! We only lost an iPad, not our humanity!"

He glared around him and demanded "Where's the prisoner, errr, I mean defendant? What have you savage fiends done with him?"

An outburst of girlish giggles answered his stentorian shouts, and Lawyer Tom bravely waded into a gaggle of lace and leather clad ladies all vying to assist Alex in remembering why he had returned to MR-Rock. The sometimes bad, sometimes good Deb was arm-wrestling with the Kindlish kitten for dibs on Alex's torso, whilst Verencat was chasing his bolo tie ends screaming "string!" Neko was just removing her camisole when Lawyer Tom scattered them all by thundering "Raid! Head for the hills! It's Sheriff HarryT and he needs more money for his retirement fund! Anyone that doesn't scurry off in the next 10 seconds will get arrested and fined!"

Unfortunately the ladies (and Alex) were squealing so loud, nobody hear the soft-spoken Lawyer Tom. Ever resourceful, he pulled out a catnip mouse and threw it through the swing doors, stepping aside as a thundering herd exited the cat house to follow the elusive rodent. He found Alex slumped in the dust with claw marks covering his face and torso. Muttering that the town would be responsible for the costs of rabies and tetanus shots, Lawyer Tom helped Alex back to his feet and led him to the bar, where the townsfolk that hadn't chased after the cat crowd remained staring at the forlorn iPad.
Alex continued his plaint: "It's mine. I'm not going to give it away to anybody. You can't make me. It's mine. I'm keeping it."

"We'll see about that" boomed a new voice in the fracas, as the great Judge Nate waddled forwards. Dressed in vest and frock coat, his jowls hanging over his collar and tie, he looked just like a pelican! A formally dressed pelican!

(Can this go on?)

Curly · 06-25-2010, 03:25 PM

Oh please keep going, you can't stop now!

(I'm hoping someone is going to make this thread into an ebook.)

vivaldirules · 06-25-2010, 03:31 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Curly

Oh please keep going, you can't stop now!

(I'm hoping someone is going to make this thread into an ebook.)

And I'm hoping someone is going to make this thread into an iPad - for me (or whoever the real winner is).

Keep writin', Little Chicky. Or we'll string ya up and toss ya on the coals for a light snack.

vivaldirules · 06-25-2010, 04:07 PM

Too slow. Okay, boys, let's get the spit! And somebody rustle up some mesquite. I like a nice smoky flavour to my chicken legs.

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06-25-2010, 01:31 PM	#606
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,548 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	BRIDE OF HIGH NOON As Alex slumped in the clutches of the fierce French Fraulein, his lips silently moved as he thought "Well, things can't get much worse now, can they?" Bad move. The doors behind the dreams-girl flew open and more screaming women erupted onto the landing, all attesting their unflagging devotion to Alex. "This is just great," muttered HarryTheSheriff, "now the whole cat house comes out to play." Doc stepped forward and bellowed: "Now, now, ladies. Yes you Verencat, and Miss Nekokami, Yes you too. Everyone step back and behave. Let the sheriff do his job." Everyone was crowding around Alex, but the iPad drew all eyes like a magnet pulling in iron filings. Eager fingers stretched forward to stroke the dusty touch screen. Townsfolk began reminiscing: "Do you remember the App that we used to use? Wonder if it's still there. Maybe it's been updated?" Alex kept whimpering "It's mine. Don't touch it. It's mine. I'm not going to give it to anybody! I'm keeping it! Let go of me! I want to leave!" As Alex disappeared into a crowd of feminine fur and furbelows, Sheriff HarryT gingerly picked up the iPad and held it up to his faded blue eyes. "Sure looks like our iPad folks. But we ought to make sure before we hang the varmint." "Who remembers how to use this dang thing? Does anyone still have a copy of the instructions?" Doc shouted "Get the librarian! Miss Patricia has a copy of every book in this town! In multiple formats! She'll have a copy!" The gray doggie ran out under the swing doors towards the library, fronted by its Greek marble columns. He soon returned, followed by a tall woman wearing long robes and muttering "I don't know. The iPad used a closed system. You couldn't side-load files into it unless blessed by Saint Jobs. I'm not sure if we can jail-break it." The crowd parted in front of her, like wheat before a tornado! Sheriff HarryT reverently passed the iPad to her and waited for her response. (To be continued - dear god - will no one award the iPad to a MR member and free me from this toil?)

06-25-2010, 01:32 PM	#607
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW

06-25-2010, 01:35 PM	#608
Davimee Happy Wife & Momma Posts: 532 Karma: 1634 Join Date: Jan 2010 Location: USA Device: Purple Astak Pocket Pro! :)	More please! The members of MR wait with bated breath for the continuation of the story

06-25-2010, 01:37 PM	#609
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	I hope you now realise that the iPad will never be issued, cos this is making a great story and it's going to be serialised for ever and ever and ever .....

06-25-2010, 02:35 PM	#612
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,548 Karma: 135239851 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	HIGH NOON THE SAGA Before Miss Patricia could lay hands on the infernal device, the swing doors burst open as the town lawyer, Mr. Sharp Tom, ran in shouting "Don't hang him yet! We must follow due process! We only lost an iPad, not our humanity!" He glared around him and demanded "Where's the prisoner, errr, I mean defendant? What have you savage fiends done with him?" An outburst of girlish giggles answered his stentorian shouts, and Lawyer Tom bravely waded into a gaggle of lace and leather clad ladies all vying to assist Alex in remembering why he had returned to MR-Rock. The sometimes bad, sometimes good Deb was arm-wrestling with the Kindlish kitten for dibs on Alex's torso, whilst Verencat was chasing his bolo tie ends screaming "string!" Neko was just removing her camisole when Lawyer Tom scattered them all by thundering "Raid! Head for the hills! It's Sheriff HarryT and he needs more money for his retirement fund! Anyone that doesn't scurry off in the next 10 seconds will get arrested and fined!" Unfortunately the ladies (and Alex) were squealing so loud, nobody hear the soft-spoken Lawyer Tom. Ever resourceful, he pulled out a catnip mouse and threw it through the swing doors, stepping aside as a thundering herd exited the cat house to follow the elusive rodent. He found Alex slumped in the dust with claw marks covering his face and torso. Muttering that the town would be responsible for the costs of rabies and tetanus shots, Lawyer Tom helped Alex back to his feet and led him to the bar, where the townsfolk that hadn't chased after the cat crowd remained staring at the forlorn iPad. Alex continued his plaint: "It's mine. I'm not going to give it away to anybody. You can't make me. It's mine. I'm keeping it." "We'll see about that" boomed a new voice in the fracas, as the great Judge Nate waddled forwards. Dressed in vest and frock coat, his jowls hanging over his collar and tie, he looked just like a pelican! A formally dressed pelican! (Can this go on?)

06-25-2010, 03:25 PM	#613
Curly I need a holiday! Posts: 1,227 Karma: 4622 Join Date: Dec 2008 Location: Scotland Device: PRS-505, ipod touch	Oh please keep going, you can't stop now! (I'm hoping someone is going to make this thread into an ebook.)

06-25-2010, 04:07 PM	#615
vivaldirules When's Doughnut Day? Posts: 10,059 Karma: 13675475 Join Date: Jul 2007 Location: Houston, TX, US Device: Sony PRS-505, iPad	Too slow. Okay, boys, let's get the spit! And somebody rustle up some mesquite. I like a nice smoky flavour to my chicken legs.

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