Silliness The 2-sentences-per-post story (starring a mysterious blonde psockpuppet?) - Page 40

Fat Abe · 09-21-2010, 08:34 PM

"You can call me Spade, or you can call me Suede, but you doesn't have to call me Johnson," I politely told her, without blowing my cool.

Olaf Johnson was the dumbest kid in 3rd grade, and as my nose got closer and closer to the dame, I began thinking this might be the lamest move since the episode where J.J. 'Jake' Gittes had his proboscis slit in Chinatown.

GeoffC · 09-22-2010, 10:34 AM

With no sign, around, of transport, I pulled out my 'phone and called a cab.

Just as I finished the call, a cab appeared, drove over to us and skidded to a halt !

Fat Abe · 09-22-2010, 10:55 PM

A shadow quickly covered the windshield of the cab, followed by loud thumping on the hood ornament, a cheap imitation of an Oscar statuette.

"Outta the car," said the big hairy ape, who was accompanied by 6 other goons in black patent leather trench coats.

GeoffC · 09-23-2010, 06:08 AM

She didn't bat an eyelid. I smelled a rat!

FlorenceArt · 09-23-2010, 09:01 AM

This car was becoming a bit too crowded. The rat smiled sweetly and wagged its tail.

GeoffC · 09-23-2010, 09:26 AM

It turned it's beady eyes on me. I flinched as the Dame took out a knife (from where I know not) and, in an instance, decapitated that poor defenceless rodent! it was, I think, meant as a lesson to me!

Fat Abe · 09-23-2010, 01:10 PM

"Just remember what happened to Mr. Gittes, gumshoe."

"There are a lot of people, weasels, rats, apes in black (AIB), and other unsavory characters out there who think that you're nose is gittin' too close to the truth," she warned.

GeoffC · 09-23-2010, 03:41 PM

"The Truth," I spluttered out, "is not the issue here. If it was you would have come clean about what this was all about when we first met on the 20th of May - all those weeks ago, we could have had such a beautiful time, instead we got all the hassle and little of the fun!"

MJK2111 · 09-23-2010, 07:23 PM

She spent a fair bit of time thinking about my statement; so long in fact, that I began to believe that she really was considering the strange relationship we had formed. When her mouth opened, and she began to speak, all my hopes were dashed.

Fat Abe · 09-24-2010, 01:24 AM

"I like you Slim, but a girl like me has a reputation to protect. Would Paris Hilton or Holly Golightly hang out with a man who dresses in off-the-rack plaid outfits?"

GeoffC · 09-25-2010, 11:11 AM

'No,' I thought to myself, 'because no-way would I be seen with those two, in any shape or form; and what is wrong with off-the-rack plaid?'

"Listen," I said, carefully, "do I still have a job, and if so where do we go from here?"

poohbear_nc · 09-25-2010, 01:44 PM

She gave me a long, slow once-over, up and down and back up and down. "That depends," she purred, "what do you have in mind?"

Fat Abe · 09-25-2010, 07:11 PM

"That's a loaded question, and I'm not falling for that trap- again."

"You tell me where you want to go from here, and, as long as it's a place where we can both get horizontal, I'm all ears, baby."

poohbear_nc · 09-25-2010, 08:00 PM

Howza bout dis? asked the big ape, pulling a coffin out of the back of the cab. You can't get more horizontal that this!

GeoffC · 09-26-2010, 05:43 AM

I'd entirely forgotten the ape and his pals, that'll teach me to have "thoughts" about this lady!.

She turned and looked at him, and then purred .... "no, Ronnie, ditch the coffin, we've removed the samples that we had in there, and it's now just a box".

09-21-2010, 08:34 PM	#586
Fat Abe Man Who Stares at Books Posts: 1,826 Karma: 10606722 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: 50th State, USA. Also, PA, NY, CA, and elsewhere. Device: All of the Above	"You can call me Spade, or you can call me Suede, but you doesn't have to call me Johnson," I politely told her, without blowing my cool. Olaf Johnson was the dumbest kid in 3rd grade, and as my nose got closer and closer to the dame, I began thinking this might be the lamest move since the episode where J.J. 'Jake' Gittes had his proboscis slit in Chinatown. Last edited by Fat Abe; 09-22-2010 at 12:53 AM.

09-24-2010, 01:24 AM	#595
Fat Abe Man Who Stares at Books Posts: 1,826 Karma: 10606722 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: 50th State, USA. Also, PA, NY, CA, and elsewhere. Device: All of the Above	"I like you Slim, but a girl like me has a reputation to protect. Would Paris Hilton or Holly Golightly hang out with a man who dresses in off-the-rack plaid outfits?" Last edited by Fat Abe; 09-24-2010 at 02:35 AM.

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09-22-2010, 10:34 AM	#587
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	With no sign, around, of transport, I pulled out my 'phone and called a cab. Just as I finished the call, a cab appeared, drove over to us and skidded to a halt !

09-22-2010, 10:55 PM	#588
Fat Abe Man Who Stares at Books Posts: 1,826 Karma: 10606722 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: 50th State, USA. Also, PA, NY, CA, and elsewhere. Device: All of the Above	A shadow quickly covered the windshield of the cab, followed by loud thumping on the hood ornament, a cheap imitation of an Oscar statuette. "Outta the car," said the big hairy ape, who was accompanied by 6 other goons in black patent leather trench coats.

09-23-2010, 06:08 AM	#589
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	She didn't bat an eyelid. I smelled a rat!

09-23-2010, 09:01 AM	#590
FlorenceArt High Priestess Posts: 5,761 Karma: 5042529 Join Date: Jul 2008 Location: Montreuil sous bois, France Device: iPad Pro 9.7, iPhone 6 Plus	This car was becoming a bit too crowded. The rat smiled sweetly and wagged its tail.

09-23-2010, 09:26 AM	#591
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	It turned it's beady eyes on me. I flinched as the Dame took out a knife (from where I know not) and, in an instance, decapitated that poor defenceless rodent! it was, I think, meant as a lesson to me!

09-23-2010, 01:10 PM	#592
Fat Abe Man Who Stares at Books Posts: 1,826 Karma: 10606722 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: 50th State, USA. Also, PA, NY, CA, and elsewhere. Device: All of the Above	"Just remember what happened to Mr. Gittes, gumshoe." "There are a lot of people, weasels, rats, apes in black (AIB), and other unsavory characters out there who think that you're nose is gittin' too close to the truth," she warned.

09-23-2010, 03:41 PM	#593
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	"The Truth," I spluttered out, "is not the issue here. If it was you would have come clean about what this was all about when we first met on the 20th of May - all those weeks ago, we could have had such a beautiful time, instead we got all the hassle and little of the fun!"

09-23-2010, 07:23 PM	#594
MJK2111 FUBAR! Posts: 1,946 Karma: 15018767 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: Woodstock, IL Device: Kindle 3, Samsung Galaxy Note 10.1 S	She spent a fair bit of time thinking about my statement; so long in fact, that I began to believe that she really was considering the strange relationship we had formed. When her mouth opened, and she began to speak, all my hopes were dashed.

09-25-2010, 11:11 AM	#596
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	'No,' I thought to myself, 'because no-way would I be seen with those two, in any shape or form; and what is wrong with off-the-rack plaid?' "Listen," I said, carefully, "do I still have a job, and if so where do we go from here?"

09-25-2010, 01:44 PM	#597
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,903 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	She gave me a long, slow once-over, up and down and back up and down. "That depends," she purred, "what do you have in mind?"

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09-25-2010, 07:11 PM	#598
Fat Abe Man Who Stares at Books Posts: 1,826 Karma: 10606722 Join Date: Mar 2010 Location: 50th State, USA. Also, PA, NY, CA, and elsewhere. Device: All of the Above	"That's a loaded question, and I'm not falling for that trap- again." "You tell me where you want to go from here, and, as long as it's a place where we can both get horizontal, I'm all ears, baby."

09-25-2010, 08:00 PM	#599
poohbear_nc Bah! Humbug! Posts: 63,903 Karma: 135242149 Join Date: Feb 2009 Location: Durham, NC Device: Every Kindle Ever Made & To Be Made!	Howza bout dis? asked the big ape, pulling a coffin out of the back of the cab. You can't get more horizontal that this!

09-26-2010, 05:43 AM	#600
GeoffC Chocolate Grasshopper ... Posts: 27,599 Karma: 20821184 Join Date: Mar 2008 Location: Scotland Device: Muse HD , Cybook Gen3 , Pocketbook 302 (Black) , Nexus 10: wife has PW	I'd entirely forgotten the ape and his pals, that'll teach me to have "thoughts" about this lady!. She turned and looked at him, and then purred .... "no, Ronnie, ditch the coffin, we've removed the samples that we had in there, and it's now just a box".