Who pays after the first date if both make about the same money?

[Peverel]

I am afraid I must take the Austrailian position - The guy pays - I still do much to the annoyance of my Girlfriend. Mind you she does get us some crackingly fun experiences like she booked us 3 nights on a narrow boat - so much fun - although very hard work. Sorry I am babbling

[desertgrandma]

Originally Posted by DixieGal

I
I expanded it to: Let's take my car. I've left more than 1 drunken boy in a shopping center parking lot! Well, 2 is more than 1, but "more than 1" sounds more dramatic.

So tell us, DG...........how did your husband feel about that?

[no.guru]

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

So tell us, DG...........how did your husband feel about that?

Careful, desertgrandma. She may be a public school teacher after all.

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

In my world, the man always pays, no exceptions.

So the Monkey never has to pay, then?

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

i end up paying three times more than i ate.

Yes, but what about what you drank?

Originally Posted by desertgrandma

So tell us, DG...........how did your husband feel about that?

I'm sure, once he eventually finds his way back from the mall, he'll tell us.....

Better half and I have no real hard and fast rule, but since all the money comes out of the same shared pot, it doesn't matter too much. Though the gesture is nice. HOWEVER, I really like it when she picks up the tab on those occasions that the waiter has deliberately given it to me (as the man), rather than leaving it it the middle of the table.

[FizzyWater]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

then you have some starving footballer type who orders an entrée and an expensive dish and dessert and a cheese plate. at the end when you get the check someone invariably says "shall we just split it evenly among us ?" and i end up paying three times more than i ate.

I was thinking along the same lines. I don't go out on dates a lot these days, but I have friends I go out with. One guy's meal ticket almost always ends up twice what mine is. But it seems a bit cheap to always insist on separate checks.

I like the idea of reciprocity - he picks up dinner, I'll pay for the movies (which these days cost as much as a nice simple meal!) If he always pays for dinner, I try to find a way to give back some other way - a special book he's been looking for, tickets for some sporting event, etc...

[ShortNCuddlyAm]

Dating... I can't remember! I think the yeti ended up paying for more meals out than I did, though.

Going out with friends... there's one group where we each pay for what we had, for some reason it's just easier that way. With another, we rotate.

Going out for work lunches... if it's my immediate team, we pay for what we've had. If it's the full team, it usually ends up as we each pay for what we've had, but only after an inordinate amount of faffing about over who had what, whether we should split it equally and people just pay for their own drinks, and the manager trying every trick she can think of to get a discount.

Originally Posted by LazyScot

HOWEVER, I really like it when she picks up the tab on those occasions that the waiter has deliberately given it to me (as the man), rather than leaving it it the middle of the table.

On the rare occasion we've been to a restaurant that has a seperate wine list that isn't handed out with each menu, the yeti makes a point of handing it to me, and letting me taste it. This is purely practical - I have a better sense of taste and smell than him. But it's still amusing.

[yvanleterrible]

With us the one with money pays. The true question is who brings the money?
She does cause she's got the purse...

30 years of marriage...

[markbot]

People are preferring "whoever asks"....but the guy usually does the asking...thus it ends up being the guy who pays most of the time.

[montsnmags]

Originally Posted by Peverel

I am afraid I must take the Austrailian position - The guy pays
...

I don't state it as the "Australian" position, but merely my "world", where there's no woman there to pay. Hint: both parties are usually carrying wallets.

Originally Posted by LazyScot

So the Monkey never has to pay, then?
...

Truth is, and to belie the above, I rarely take my wallet anywhere. The Loved One always pays (but if it matters, it's from a joint account).

Cheers,
Marc

[doreenjoy]

Originally Posted by zelda_pinwheel

actually that is something that drives me crazy about going to a restaurant with a group, not really on a date. i don't eat very much, and since i'm a vegetarian there usually are not many choices for me. then you have some starving footballer type who orders an entrée and an expensive dish and dessert and a cheese plate. at the end when you get the check someone invariably says "shall we just split it evenly among us ?" and i end up paying three times more than i ate.

I always rebel when this happens: "Yo, I didn't eat any of that $40 cheese platter." People may but I don't care.

I also will not pay for alcohol, even if I arranged the date. I've made way too many contributions to other people's alcoholism.

I usually ended up paying way more often than any of my dates...the curse of having good jobs and lots of money. Now that I'm long married, DH just plain lives off my income (he is a good house husband though).

[Peverel]

Originally Posted by montsnmags

I don't state it as the "Australian" position, but merely my "world"

Opps sorry the Montsnmags World way - my mistake......

[Sweetpea]

Originally Posted by Sparrow

There should be an option to pay for your own meal.

Nothing less romantic than agreeing to go halves, and then sit there watching her munch her way through a selection of the most expensive dishes on the menu.
(Time to visit the loo and not go back. )

Actually, that's what happens here mostly. Everybody pays for his or her own meal. Unless the group is really large (20+), but then it generally evens out fairly.

Originally Posted by HarryT

Possible confusion for our American friends here.

How about American parties (where you bring your own stuff with you to a party). Which I believe has a different name in American...

[Jaime_Astorga]

Might I just point out that the poll seems awfully heteronormative? =P

[LazyScot]

Originally Posted by Jaime_Astorga

Might I just point out that the poll seems awfully heteronormative? =P

True. Or that for certain couples, when out on a date, neither pays....

[Catire]

Where´s the option for: "The one who gets the bathroom with no window to jump out of pays"